Offshoreonly.com - OT: "The Newlyweds"

A newlywed couple had only been married for a few weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to get out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy-coo...?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face, to have a beer."

The wife says, "You want a beer, my love?"

She opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different brands of beers from 12 different countries.

The husband didn't know what to do. The only thing that he could to say was, "Yes, but at the bar...you know...they have...frozen mugs."

He didn't get to finish the sentence. The wife interrupted him, saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"

She opened the freezer and handed him a frozen solid mug.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those special hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be too long...I'll be right back...I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochy poo?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: spicy chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, fried mushrooms, pork strips, cheese dip, the works.

"But sweetie, at the bar...you know...the guys are cussing and swearing..."

The wife replies, "You want cussing and swearing, cutie pie?

THEN LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F*CKIN BEER, IN
THIS GODDAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR MOTHERF*CKING
SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING OUT WITH YOUR SH*THEAD
FRIENDS ANYMORE! YOU GOT THAT, *******???"

:eek: :eek: :rolleyes: ;)