Lawyer Joke!
08-09-2002, 04:32 PM
#1
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Lawyer Joke!
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten
husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've
been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a PR man; he just sat on the edge of
the bed, telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really
sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything
checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had
the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process,
but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought
he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product,
he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk
about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did
was.....God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but explain to me, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!
husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've
been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a PR man; he just sat on the edge of
the bed, telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really
sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything
checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had
the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process,
but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought
he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product,
he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk
about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did
was.....God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but explain to me, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!
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08-10-2002, 10:55 AM
#5
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Yeah, what GFB said!!!! As far as I'm concerned Too Old is a gormet cook!!!!! Bring on the fries!! Bring on the shakes!!!!
Oh, and my name is Mike and I'm single (sort of). Not married that is.
Oh, and my name is Mike and I'm single (sort of). Not married that is.
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