how mach did the fattest girl you've ever had on your boat weigh, and did you let her
03-31-2014, 05:50 PM
#31
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Funny story. I met this pretty hot chick on the water one day and we partied for a few hours. When it was time to leave I asked her to just come back on my boat and I would get her to her car. She said, ok but, my friends will have to come also cause we never split up. So being skeptical I said, oh, well where are your friends? She's like hang on ill go get them. So my brother and friend come walking back to the boat and I told them what's going on. They were like oh sweet I hope they're hot! Well, here comes the crew walking around some boats and OMG.... 200-225ish...like three of them. I never fired up the boat a took off so fast in my life! I had to ditch the hottie cause there was just no way I was pulling into marina with them lol. I didn't look back but I guess they were waving like hey where you going... Throttles pinned.
03-31-2014, 05:58 PM
#32
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I used to get women on the boat that wanted to go parasailing that the leg straps would not go up beyond their knees . Felt bad for them and the crew that had to harness them up..
The few Biggins you did fit into the harnesses did not fit properly in them and they would slide forward out of the seat and hang by their crotch in the leg straps . Not a pretty site of a 300 plus women not to mention I was scared to death the leg straps would rip out and they would fall.
Finally got smart and had a custom heavy Duty harness made with adjustable leg straps to go up to 45 inches around and a belly strap made for a 80 inch waist made out of a heavy enough material that you could fly a truck in the thing.
The few Biggins you did fit into the harnesses did not fit properly in them and they would slide forward out of the seat and hang by their crotch in the leg straps . Not a pretty site of a 300 plus women not to mention I was scared to death the leg straps would rip out and they would fall.
Finally got smart and had a custom heavy Duty harness made with adjustable leg straps to go up to 45 inches around and a belly strap made for a 80 inch waist made out of a heavy enough material that you could fly a truck in the thing.
03-31-2014, 06:03 PM
#33
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some are probably thinking well how did you get away with just pulling the plugs and sinking that DCB and that is where Scotts ++++ size honey came into usefulness again
she was an expert with CGI and Scott had met her when she was doing a CGI recreation of a wreck when Scott's old GF Rachel had passed away
and Scott was suing for pain and suffering
she did up this whole sequence of the boat flipping and even did a helicopter view of the same as well even the insurance company bought into it it was pretty damn good there was no way to tell it was fake
she was an expert with CGI and Scott had met her when she was doing a CGI recreation of a wreck when Scott's old GF Rachel had passed away
and Scott was suing for pain and sufferingshe did up this whole sequence of the boat flipping and even did a helicopter view of the same as well even the insurance company bought into it it was pretty damn good there was no way to tell it was fake
03-31-2014, 09:55 PM
#34
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Well, we had just gotten the 33 and it had a lot more room , so my wife told some of her friends at work that we found this lil beach to pull up on about 20 min from landing. She had invited one friend who was watching her niece and nephew that weekend so they could play with our kids...
Well, 2 more of them invited themselves!!! When my wife told me we had 3 women coming and 2 of the husbands had to work and 1 was single, I was pumped and smiled... Big pimpin, I told her..
She said I shouldn't get too excited. Whoa!!! 2 were 200+ and the other was shorter at least 250 and wearing a bikini... Really.. F&ck me!!! I get a boat load of women and all I was thinking was... Hmmm, she got up pretty good with all the weight!!
Well, 2 more of them invited themselves!!! When my wife told me we had 3 women coming and 2 of the husbands had to work and 1 was single, I was pumped and smiled... Big pimpin, I told her..
She said I shouldn't get too excited. Whoa!!! 2 were 200+ and the other was shorter at least 250 and wearing a bikini... Really.. F&ck me!!! I get a boat load of women and all I was thinking was... Hmmm, she got up pretty good with all the weight!!
04-01-2014, 07:46 AM
#35
Well, we had just gotten the 33 and it had a lot more room , so my wife told some of her friends at work that we found this lil beach to pull up on about 20 min from landing. She had invited one friend who was watching her niece and nephew that weekend so they could play with our kids...
Well, 2 more of them invited themselves!!! When my wife told me we had 3 women coming and 2 of the husbands had to work and 1 was single, I was pumped and smiled... Big pimpin, I told her..
She said I shouldn't get too excited. Whoa!!! 2 were 200+ and the other was shorter at least 250 and wearing a bikini... Really.. F&ck me!!! I get a boat load of women and all I was thinking was... Hmmm, she got up pretty good with all the weight!!
Well, 2 more of them invited themselves!!! When my wife told me we had 3 women coming and 2 of the husbands had to work and 1 was single, I was pumped and smiled... Big pimpin, I told her..
She said I shouldn't get too excited. Whoa!!! 2 were 200+ and the other was shorter at least 250 and wearing a bikini... Really.. F&ck me!!! I get a boat load of women and all I was thinking was... Hmmm, she got up pretty good with all the weight!!
2 Yrs ago on a small lake in Washington State I was forced to take my sister in-law and niece both were 220+ (weigh more now)...LOL We idled around the lake (over an hour) pretending to show them the purrrrdy houses... thank god I don't talk to them anymore and I now have a scale for my boat, just like the rides at a an amusement park "Please step on the scale"..."I'm sorry you can't get in the boat as your girth is to much for the seats and damage could occur". Have a nice day!
04-01-2014, 09:02 AM
#36
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Location: Northern, KY (Cincinnati) Lake St Clair, MI Norris Lake, TN
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You guys are funny.....My wife's friends, my sister in-law, cousin's nephew's daughter, etc.
Like you've never drank too much and partied with a fatty on the water. I'll man up....250 lbs and she swallowed every bit! I think I went to the same bar the next night to see if she was there again.
Like you've never drank too much and partied with a fatty on the water. I'll man up....250 lbs and she swallowed every bit! I think I went to the same bar the next night to see if she was there again.
04-01-2014, 10:41 AM
#37
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You guys are funny.....My wife's friends, my sister in-law, cousin's nephew's daughter, etc.
Like you've never drank too much and partied with a fatty on the water. I'll man up....250 lbs and she swallowed every bit! I think I went to the same bar the next night to see if she was there again.
Like you've never drank too much and partied with a fatty on the water. I'll man up....250 lbs and she swallowed every bit! I think I went to the same bar the next night to see if she was there again.
04-01-2014, 10:52 AM
#38
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"Fat Bottomed Girls"
Oh you gonna take me home tonight
Oh down beside that red fire light
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!
I've been singing with my band
Across the water, across the land
I've seen every blue eyed floozy on the way (hey)
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them naughty ladies every time
C'mon!
Oh, won't you take me home tonight?
Oh, down beside your red fire light
Oh, and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Hey, listen here
Now I got mortgages and homes
And I got stiffness in the bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still get my greatest treasure
Heap big woman you done made a big man of me (now get this)
Oh (I know), you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh, down beside that red fire light
Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Get on your bikes and ride
Ooh, yeah, oh, yeah, them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah,
All right
Ride 'em cowboy
Fat bottomed girls
Yes, yes, right.
Got tickets to see Queen later this year, first time since I saw them from the front row in 1982 at Milton Keynes in the UK
Probably the best live performance I ever saw, and I saw a bunch.
Oh you gonna take me home tonight
Oh down beside that red fire light
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!
I've been singing with my band
Across the water, across the land
I've seen every blue eyed floozy on the way (hey)
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them naughty ladies every time
C'mon!
Oh, won't you take me home tonight?
Oh, down beside your red fire light
Oh, and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Hey, listen here
Now I got mortgages and homes
And I got stiffness in the bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still get my greatest treasure
Heap big woman you done made a big man of me (now get this)
Oh (I know), you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh, down beside that red fire light
Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Get on your bikes and ride
Ooh, yeah, oh, yeah, them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah,
All right
Ride 'em cowboy
Fat bottomed girls
Yes, yes, right.
Got tickets to see Queen later this year, first time since I saw them from the front row in 1982 at Milton Keynes in the UK
Probably the best live performance I ever saw, and I saw a bunch.
04-01-2014, 10:56 AM
#39
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so it was Me, Jim Darr, Chris Sunken, Fred Cecil, Scott Swires, Big Chubby and Bill Hionas and this really really really fat chick that Scott was mooching off of while waiting on a big settlement he had coming in from some crazy lawsuit
I think Scott mooched off of her so much that she ended up losing about 30 pounds in the last few months because the big meathead was draining her bank account faster than she could fill it and her refrigerator
we were all at Desert Storm (or as Scotts GF and Big Chubby made it "Dessert Storm" when they hit the casino buffets every night) on........I say Hava you say Su.....Hava-su Hava-su
we were on this badass DCB M35 that Big Chubby had hauled out there and then the owners could not show up to run it, but they wanted it to get some "air time" so they told us to go ahead and take it out
we were up in the front of the pack right at the start and we were just going hammer down when a blue Skater (I think it was a Skater hell I am not an expert I just get to ride along on theses epic trips) got pinched in by some fishing bass boat type thing and had to come across our bow
Chris was running the boat hammer down like he always does and he had it really leveled perfectly packing air like Scotts GF packed a lunch and as he comes across bow well next thing you know we are riding the rooster and the bow is really coming up
quick like a fox Fred reaches into the cooler and grabs the last of the twinkies and ding dongs that Scotts GF had been hoarding when she found out Hostess was closing shop and also a bag of those cheap ass fake off brand cheese doodles and he flings them up into the cabin of the DCB way up in the front and quick like a cat (get it cat on a cat hehe) Scotts GF and Big Chubby go diving into the cabin after those yummy snacks and he also for good measure tossed 3 natty lights up in there too and Jim dived in after those
well the next thing you know we are coming out of the rooster tail, Chris is actually having to give MORE trim up on the bow and less tabs and we are leveled off again and we are out in front of everyone else
we had the lead all the way to the first card stop and when we slowed down and looked in the cabin Scotts GF and Big Chuppy were rolling around fighting over the last cheese doodle and Jim was under them giving out this ugh ugh ugh sound and gasping for air and Big Chubby and Scotts GF were pretty much naked and the entire cabin looked orange like cheese doodle coating and there was what (I think) was twinkie filling) squirted all over the place too
we ran the rest of the card stops and then we were so concerned with the interior of the cabin (some furniture and structural supports were broken from all the "activity") that we followed the advice of Bill and Big Chubby and just pulled the plugs on the boat and basically sank it because Bill knew it had insurance and he was sure he could "liquidate it" after taking a bath for more than it would sell for if the cheese doodle mess and the broken furniture and structural supports stayed how they were
we can never return to the Havasu Landing or Aquarius Casino buffets either
I think Scott mooched off of her so much that she ended up losing about 30 pounds in the last few months because the big meathead was draining her bank account faster than she could fill it and her refrigerator
we were all at Desert Storm (or as Scotts GF and Big Chubby made it "Dessert Storm" when they hit the casino buffets every night) on........I say Hava you say Su.....Hava-su Hava-su
we were on this badass DCB M35 that Big Chubby had hauled out there and then the owners could not show up to run it, but they wanted it to get some "air time" so they told us to go ahead and take it out
we were up in the front of the pack right at the start and we were just going hammer down when a blue Skater (I think it was a Skater hell I am not an expert I just get to ride along on theses epic trips) got pinched in by some fishing bass boat type thing and had to come across our bow
Chris was running the boat hammer down like he always does and he had it really leveled perfectly packing air like Scotts GF packed a lunch and as he comes across bow well next thing you know we are riding the rooster and the bow is really coming up
quick like a fox Fred reaches into the cooler and grabs the last of the twinkies and ding dongs that Scotts GF had been hoarding when she found out Hostess was closing shop and also a bag of those cheap ass fake off brand cheese doodles and he flings them up into the cabin of the DCB way up in the front and quick like a cat (get it cat on a cat hehe) Scotts GF and Big Chubby go diving into the cabin after those yummy snacks and he also for good measure tossed 3 natty lights up in there too and Jim dived in after those
well the next thing you know we are coming out of the rooster tail, Chris is actually having to give MORE trim up on the bow and less tabs and we are leveled off again and we are out in front of everyone else
we had the lead all the way to the first card stop and when we slowed down and looked in the cabin Scotts GF and Big Chuppy were rolling around fighting over the last cheese doodle and Jim was under them giving out this ugh ugh ugh sound and gasping for air and Big Chubby and Scotts GF were pretty much naked and the entire cabin looked orange like cheese doodle coating and there was what (I think) was twinkie filling) squirted all over the place too
we ran the rest of the card stops and then we were so concerned with the interior of the cabin (some furniture and structural supports were broken from all the "activity") that we followed the advice of Bill and Big Chubby and just pulled the plugs on the boat and basically sank it because Bill knew it had insurance and he was sure he could "liquidate it" after taking a bath for more than it would sell for if the cheese doodle mess and the broken furniture and structural supports stayed how they were
we can never return to the Havasu Landing or Aquarius Casino buffets either
04-01-2014, 11:40 AM
#40
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We were all tied up at a marina/bar, and we were drinking a bit much. Much like impractical jokers, we were scouring around for some wager material to force one of the guys to "date".
As fate would have it, the "2" at 10pm ended up being a "10" at 2am an we started talking to this BIG girl, (big tall, big butt) all dressed in yellow. Tight top, tight tight yellow spandex pants. We talked to her for awhile, and up close, this gal was huge.
While we were deciding who and what the deed was going to be, the poor girl bent over and "BAMMMMM", her spandex pants blew open in the seat.
While she was bent over with her yellow spandex blown open, too salesman types threw their briefcases in her ass and yelled, "Take us to the Airport and step on it".
We left her there! hahaha!
As fate would have it, the "2" at 10pm ended up being a "10" at 2am an we started talking to this BIG girl, (big tall, big butt) all dressed in yellow. Tight top, tight tight yellow spandex pants. We talked to her for awhile, and up close, this gal was huge.
While we were deciding who and what the deed was going to be, the poor girl bent over and "BAMMMMM", her spandex pants blew open in the seat.
While she was bent over with her yellow spandex blown open, too salesman types threw their briefcases in her ass and yelled, "Take us to the Airport and step on it".
We left her there! hahaha!
