Offshoreonly.com - Lose Weight.......Fast!

A fellow was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs.
>due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would
>ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT
>LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed, like hell," he thought to himself. But
>desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10-pound weight
>loss program.
>
>The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there
stands
>before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but

>a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces
>herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads,
"If
>you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought he takes off
>after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her
>and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks

>to himself, "I like the way this company does business!"
>
>The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens.
>
>On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost
>10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20-pound
>program.
>
>The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
>stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing
>nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads,
"If
>you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door after her like a shot.
>This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but

>when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is by far the best
>he's ever had.
>
>For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight,
>on the fifth day he weighs himself and finds that he has lost another 20
>lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to
order
>the 7-day/50-pound program.
>
>"Are you sure?", asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most
>rigorous program."
>
>"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
>
>The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds
>Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and
a
>sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you."

:eek: :D :eek: :D