CigDaze

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise,"Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?

9. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.

13.Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14.Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder...louder...

20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

dangerkitty2

Change your voice and say "I'm sorry this number does not
accept this type of phone call. Please regard this message as your notification to remove this number from your list. Thank-
you."


Or, when they thank you for helping their cause last year, say
you didnt. Like the unknown " Give a Kid a Bike"

Biggus

iTrader: (1)

A few years ago, I had told a telemarketer that I was a robber and at the moment I was ripping off the house

5 minutes later my house was surrounded by the local po po

They were not as amused as I was

DJD

LOL
I have used #12 before.
If I answer & it is a telemarketer asking for my wife, I have put the phone down & yelled 'Michele, it's another guy calling, what the F***, (slap hands together) YOU ***** (slap) what the f*** She screams out in pain each time & then I hang up.
My favorite is when someone called & asked if I have a minute for an "opinion pole", I stated that I have no opinion. The woman giggled & said "you have no opinion?" I said NO, I got married & no longer have an opinion

C_Spray

iTrader: (2)

I'm getting married next year! Oh, well - We've been living together for four years now, so I already have no opinion.

I think. (I'll have to check with Dianne.)

CigDaze

DJD, C...LOL!

nitro

My favorite is take ask them to hold on a second, take the cordless into the bathroom, couple of grunts and groans, a flush with the phone close, bada bing bada boom no more caller.

SummerObsession

My dad had a good friend that, being the onry old fart that he was, would ask every female telemarketer that called "Do you f*ck?".
She, of course, would get very offended and call for her supervisor. When the supervisor entered the call, he would explain that he only wanted to know if she f*cked. They would both get very irate by this time, and he would tell them: "Listen, you people called ME at MY home, so I have every right to say whatever the f*ck I want!".
He didn't receive many telemarketer calls after that!!

mattyboy

a couple of years ago, I got a call that I had won 5000 dollars and a new Caddy, and all I had to do was make a commercial on these vitamins,stating they were great , the catch I had to buy 1500 dollars of vitamins first...

my respose ok send the camera crew over in the caddy with the vitamins and a check for 3500 and we had a deal!!! I spent 1 hr on the phone and went right to the vp, I would not let it go....

they never called back

Mattyboy

OldSchool

I always try to make a game of it when they call.
No matter what they are selling- That's what I do for a living