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Why is OSO pushing mass emails about emptying your bowels

Old 03-07-2020, 10:15 AM
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Default Why is OSO pushing mass emails about emptying your bowels

Just got an email from OSO with the subject “How To Entirely Empty Your Bowels Every Morning - Top Surgeon Explains How”

make it stop. Spam email is nothing new but I expect better from this site!
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Old 03-07-2020, 11:17 AM
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you spam is late to the party....BTW check out post #6

Offshore tips on emptying my bowels every morning!
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Old 03-07-2020, 11:21 AM
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Oh hell, Phragle deserves a standing ovation on the attention his post received... so, as originally posted from Phragle:


Citrimag...... look no further, it WILL work...
What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? I'm glad you asked...

12:05 pm: It's time. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a pansy in front of your older brother's friends.

It's suppose to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life. You are already regretting this decision.

12:06 pm: You deep throat a cupcake like you've been saving it for the apocalypse because let's face it...that time is here. It's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care. All is right in the world at this moment. Hold on to that. You're about to enter a very dark period in your life.

12:37 pm: First sign of life. The pressure is growing. You already have 5 lbs of impacted **** in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano. You feel a poop coming on finally. You think it's time. You're wrong. You get a little snake turd as a teaser.

Take note...this is the last semi-solid thing you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours.

12:57 pm: That little science experiment you got cooking is about to reach it's boiling point. Your stomach is angry now. It hates you...you can feel it. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run... NEVER run! You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. Almost there. 3...2...1...

12:58 pm: Sweet Mary, mother of God...is this real life? Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose. The ****/ water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45 degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down.

Is that blood?

False alarm.

That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving...when you were 5. The smell is horrid...the sound is frightening. You try to clench whats left of your ******* to soften the blow but it's not working. The whole house just heard your liquid **** fart as it gurgled out of your ass.

1:06 pm- 8:30 pm: Everything's a blur. You have **** out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800's, and your ******* now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand Jalapeno seeds stuck in it.

You're now curled up in the bathtub ugly crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. You have the poop sweats.

You meet Jesus.

8:37 pm: Your family will never be able to unsee the things they've seen in the last 8 hours.

You're broken.

Your *******'s broken.

Your spirit's broken.

Life as you know it will never be the same. But...tomorrow's a new day. You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear you have that doesn't have a **** stain on it, and you're going to run up to Target with the last shred of dignity you have left...and buy yourself a new toilet brush. You've earned it.
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Old 03-07-2020, 11:24 AM
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That is funny stuff.
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Old 03-07-2020, 11:43 AM
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Lol!
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Old 03-07-2020, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Hustler40
That is funny stuff.
indeed it is. Fk I needed a good laugh.
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Old 03-07-2020, 03:38 PM
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Hustler, the email that you got is probably not from OSO. Check the sender's email address and compare it to OSO. There will be a slight variation so that you will think that it is legit if you don't look closely. These scam scumbags are the lowest life forms on the planet. Phragle is one of the best comedy writers.
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Old 03-07-2020, 03:43 PM
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Just went through a colonoscopy last Monday. OMG, had to drink 40 oz of that stuff between 3 sessions. Not fun.at all....
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Old 03-07-2020, 04:15 PM
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Originally Posted by open87
Just went through a colonoscopy last Monday. OMG, had to drink 40 oz of that stuff between 3 sessions. Not fun.at all....
paah , had my 5th one last year. To be honest the 1st one was the worst in terms of the 'cleanout' , I hardly notice it now even though I hate that salty pineapple flavored garbage they give you to drink The hardest part is the fasting and then clear liquids . You'll never notice how much food advertising there is on tv until you're prepping for a colonoscopy and can't eat.
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Old 03-07-2020, 05:38 PM
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Oh great I'm about to have my first one.
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