Offshoreonly.com - OT: Drive-Through ATM Machines

POSTER'S NOTE: It's all in good fun ladies......:D ;)

Please note that the Bank is installing new "drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new service, the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your circumstances (i.e., MALE or FEMALE) and apply it when you use our new machines.

PROCEDURE FOR MALES

A. Drive up to the cash machine.
B. Put down your car window.
C. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
D. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
E. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
F. Put window up
G. Drive off

PROCEDURE FOR FEMALES

A. Drive up to cash machine
B. Reverse car to back up the required amount to align car window to machine
C. Set parking brake; put the window down
D. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
E. Turn the radio down
F. Attempt to insert card into machine
G. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
H. Insert card
I. Reinsert card the right way up
J. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
K. Enter PIN
L. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN
M. Enter amount of cash desired
N. Check make-up in rear view mirror
O. Retrieve cash and receipt
P. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside Q. Place receipt in back of checkbook
R. Recheck make-up again
S. Drive forward 2 feet
T. Reverse back to cash machine
U. Retrieve card
V. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
W. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers in line behind you
X. Restart stalled engine and pull away from bank
Y. Drive two miles
Z. Release parking brake