Numbers don't lie - Give up while you can!
> >> THE SCORING SYSTEM REVEALED
> > > > > > For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the Rules >when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will >help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of >romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do >something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes >and points are deducted. You don't get any points for doing >something she expects. > > > Sorry, that's the way the game is played. > > > > > > Here is a guide to the points system: > > > > > > SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed.....+1 > > > You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative >pillows......0 > > > You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1 > > > You leave the toilet seat up.....-5 > > > You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0 > > > When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to >Kleenex.....-1 > > > When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2 > > > You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with >wings......+5 > > > In the snow .....+8 > > > But return with beer.....-5 > > > And no liners.....-25 > > > You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0 > > > You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0 > > > You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 > > > You pummel it with a six iron.....+10 > > > It's her cat.....-40 > > > > AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire party.....0 > > > You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a >College drinking buddy.....-2 Named Tiffany.....-4 > > > Tiffany is a dancer.....-10 > > > With breast implants.....-18 > > > > > HER BIRTHDAY > > > You remember her birthday.....0 > > > You buy a card and flowers.....0 > > > You take her out to dinner.....0 > > > You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1 > > > Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2 > > > And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3 > > > It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is >painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10 > > > > > A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.....0 > > > The pal is happily married.....+1 > > > The pal is single.....-20 > > > He drives a Ferrari.....-10 > > > With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15 > > > > > A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie.....+2 > > > You take her to a movie she likes.....+4 > > > You take her to a movie you hate.....+6 > > > You take her to a movie you like.....-2 > > > It's called Death Cop III.....-3 > > > Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9 > > > You lied and said it was a foreign film about > orphans.....-15 > > > > > YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15 > > > You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of >it.....+10 > > > You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans >and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30 > > > You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one >too.".....-800 > > > > THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" > > > You hesitate in responding.....-10 > > > You reply, "Where?".....-35 > > > You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100 > > > Any other response.....-20 > > > > > COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem: > > > You listen, displaying a concerned _expression.....0 > > > You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5 > > > You relate to her problem and share a similar >experience......+50 > > > You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying >"well, what do you think I should do?".....-100 > > > You have fallen asleep.....-200 > > > IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH You talk.....-100 > > > You don't talk.....-150 > > > You spend time with her......-200 > > > You don't spend time with her.....-500 > > > You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000 > > > > > > GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!! :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :D :D |
No matter what it's a losing proposition.
No wonder she's always mad at me.:( |
CJC: You are a man with great wisdom, never have I heard truer words.:D :D :D :D
|
Boy is that the TRUTH!!!!!!
|
lmao :D :D :D
|
thats a good one!!!!!!!
|
:D :D :D :D
|
:D :D :D :D
|
I give that a five:D:D:D:D:D I gut still hurts. Hey, I think I just lost 5lbs.
|
Re: Numbers don't lie - Give up while you can!
Originally posted by CJC > >> THE SCORING SYSTEM REVEALED > > > > For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the Rules >when dealing with women. > > A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.....0 > > > The pal is happily married.....+1 > > > The pal is single.....-20 > > > He drives a Ferrari.....-10 > > > With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15 :D :D ...a little too close to home, still funny!! :D |
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:00 AM. |
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.