OT: anyone use a do it yourself divorce kit?
 

After being together for around 20 years my wife has decided she wants to be single. I didn't want it, but can't do anything about it. I decided to try and get through it as easy as a possible.

I have heard all the horror stories of both sides fighting and becoming enemies and making attorney's rich. I would just as soon save my money for the new boat I'm going to buy so I'm not misrable, and the two of us remain freinds, especially for our kids sake (15, 17 yo).

We have talked and she is willing to try and go this route.

Anyone have any good luck w/ such or horror stories attempting this?? Any input will help.

Thanks,
Bryan

Man, I hate to hear that dude. I feel for you. Been there done that-twice!:eek:

I would say go for the kit if, and that's a HUGE IF, you can get along. If you have large assets, business interests, or anything like that at stake, I would get an attorney to protect them.

The kits can leave a lot of open doors for later when someone DOES get pissy (It nearly always happens).

I have heard of two people sitting down toether and working out a list of items they want, conditions, visitation, etc, and sharing an attorney, but it's very very rare.

I received some very good advice from someone during my divorce. they said be generous with the material things, but stingy with your time with your children. You can always make back the money. It suck when I wrtie checks every month, but I share time with the kids 50-50, sometimes more!
That is priceless for me.

I hope that helps.

Keep your chin up, we'll see you at LOTO!!!! Savin' a spot in the Playboy for ya right now!!

Plus, my wife has this friend............:D

Thanks John......you da man!! Oh and the ride in the Playboy will be awesome too!!

A friend of mine and his wife just went throught the same thing and got it over with very quickly. They used a mediator and settled everything very amicably. Though she was seeing some guy. Good Luck, Forrest

I just loved the "do it yourself divorce kit". It now sits on my shelf between "do it yourself dentistry" and "do it yourself plastic surgery".

Best thing to do with that is TELL her you are using the kit, but have a real lawyer you aren't telling her about. My .02.:eureka:

i duno about teh do it yoruself kit but i can say one hting

if you two are seriously 100% getting divorced tell your kids right away. My parents got divorced when i was 16 and they didn;t tell my brother or I until all was final. That REALLY pissed the both of us off. Be honest with them and and dont;bull**** hem and make they are aprised of whats going on.


Sorry to hear about your situation. That sucks.

I hate to say it but "Trust No One" . 20 years or not protect yourself. People are not what they seem when it comes to divorce. Good luck, things will get better.

Sam

Bryan, I'm going through the same thing. Both decided we want to keep the lawyers from getting new boats ( and I want to keep mine). So we will use a single attorney and split the assets. We have no kids so should be easier. Trying to keep this as friendly and painless as possible.

Bryan and Barry,
Sorry to hear of this. I went through some really messy chit last year, and we were not even married. I hope you all are able to figure things out amicably, and be free and clear soon. I am sure glad I found my pot at the end of the rainbow.

I've used the kit for 38 years - mine was called " Never Get Married" even though I now may be doomed - BH

Bryan, sorry to hear this. I was in your position many years ago when my first wife decided she did not want to be married anymore. FIRST.....get a separation agreement in place! I went to an attorney/friend for that. We ended up using the same attorney for the divorce, which after one year of separation, was rather easy.....no fault divorce. We kept things very amicable throughout the process, which is definitely the best way to go. I count my lucky stars on that one!!

Best of luck to you!

http://www.redding.com/newsarchive/2...toplo039.shtml

http://www.sptimes.com/2002/08/27/Ta..._wife_ov.shtml

geez,I wish somebody would email this to my soon to be ex.........her lawyers dumin than her!filin every court case possible,shes draggin the kids in soon!so best of luck to ya!!!!!

I think you should get an attorney. Maybe both use the same 1.
No real issues between you shouldn't be too difficult. But the downside for both of you would be doing something wrong and either of you buy a house, car, bigger boat;) , etc., get your credit run and the other has scortched you credit rating:mad: !
This is protecting both parties. Get an attorney or it may bite you in the butt later. Attorneys are a neccessary part of life. Some great, some suck, but they're still needed...MHO

I like the advice about being generous with material matters and stingy with the kids. That is some seriously sage advice.

Unless you can trace your assets back to inheritance, funds that you had before the marriage (which have never been co-mingled with other "joint" funds), or gifts, you had better be prepared to give up half of it. You may, of course, bargain for and negotiate just about anything. If you are able to agree upon the division of assets and how to handle the children, it makes sense to them go to an attorney for the purpose of drafting the Separation Agreement which can then be enrolled into your decree of divorce.

Watch out for the following: party responsible for college tuition, use and possession of the marital home, age of children when support stops (18 or 21), period of alimony payments, party responsible for health insurance, life insurance, just to name a few. The point being that you may agree on large matters but these little, hidden ones add up and may drastically affect the financial basis for your agreement on the large, material matters. Meet with an attorney - one who concentrates their practice in family law matters - if only to pick their brain about potential trouble spots. Would you buy a boat without a survey?

Best of luck, life goes on, and don't sweat the petty things and don't petty the sweaty things.

No offense DJ, but I think everyone else's advice is better.

Thanks everyone for the input. I still don't know what I'm going to do.

I just wanted to see peoples reaction :D :D