Shorgasm

Come on guys..this **** hurts....
Jdogg:Hey
QT-Pie:Hey
Jdogg:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Jdogg:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your p*ssy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my d*ck puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

Danny Usnik

That is some of the funniest **** I've ever read. LOL!

CigDaze

Still ROTFLMFAO!!!
Thanks!


Yep, our kids are in good hands!

Shorgasm

I can't stop.........and NO I would never do any of this....

J-Dogg: Ok baby, you promise me you will stick around till I'm done?
(partner4: Ben Affleck, alone on a saturday night because he is a peice of moldy rat sh*t, is posing as a young girl looking for cyber partners.)
Ben:Yeah Mr. Dogg. Anything for you, you are so handsome and studly.
J-Dogg: Good, now I'm into some wierd sh*t, so don't be surprised aight?
Ben: ok mr. Doggy I promise.
J-Dogg: Aight then, we settle down on the couch...
Ben: Oh romantic? This isn't wierd, I like it like that baby. What else.
J-Dogg: I put in a movie so that your mom can't hear us. It is called "Good Will Hunting".
Ben: Aaahhhh....
J-Dogg: I like this movie a lot.
Ben: Ok, thats cool.
J-Dogg: You start getting frisky so I put my hand down your undies. They have care bears on them. You are my 15 year old niece and we are in my aunts house.
Ben: ohhhh I like where this is going...
J-Dogg: Suddenly this f*ck with short dark hair comes on the TV screen. I think his name is Ben something. He is a real piece of moldy rat sh*t. I can't keep it up because of him. I need some shark fin soup.
Ben: What the f*ck, you are the piece of sh*t, what you got against Ben Affleck, I heard he's real good in the sack, and gets ALL the ladies.
J-Dogg: Yeah right, I bet he's at home right now geting it on with some guy.
Ben: F*ck you I'm out of here. And Ben Affleck is 100% not gay, I can assure you of that.
(Ben logs off and cries himself to sleep)
J-Dogg: Goddammit, not again.
J-Dogg: Still not hard either.
J-Dogg: F*ck.

Shorgasm

Pay attention to this one......Dogg
Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women...
J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipsh*t.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

Shorgasm

Umm.......no comment on this one......


J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the f*ck are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: F*ck me, F*ck me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.
The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.
Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to f*ck then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.

big daddy

OMG!!!!! That is the funniest sh*t I have EVER read on OSO!!!

I'm CRYING!!!!

JUSTONCE

BD: Thanks for the conversation, and help on my girls car .It was good to meet you.

X-Rated30

That was TOO F***ING FUNNY!!!

My secretary was mad at me because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes, but I wouldn't let her read it (sexual harrassment).

BigDaddy96

ROTFLMFAO!