Like Tree0Likes

OT: Best EBAY ad ever

Reply
Old 05-03-2003, 03:52 PM
  #1
Mr. Demeanor
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default OT: Best EBAY ad ever

The link is closed now but heres a copy.

You are bidding on a 600 Watt AMP + 2, twelve inch MTX subwoofers in an enclosed box. This system is pretty sweet, its got loud distinct bass, nothing to obscene, if you have an SUV or a truck this is perfect, it comes prewired already, just enough to feel your music, but not to irritate anyone else, or you can if you tweak it, or if your a loser who drives a Civic with a type R sticker, racing stripes, blasting really bad rap music through your suburban area with your pretentious "Iím 21 but Iím still in high school girlfriend" while driving with your hand up on the top of the steering wheel exposing your underdeveloped pasty white vitamin deficient arm and wearing your backwards BS upside down visor hat while feeling the tacky as a "Florida vacation" single diamond earring in your ear, If you are this person...with any luck the sun in its precise celestial positioning as you putter on by...will reflect its scorching rays into your earring, bouncing intensely in your rearview, and finally making contact with your eyes through the thin cheap lense of $5 gas station Oakley rip off glasses.. then burning your retnal cones into smoldering melting gobs of ocular material as you are blinded by the purest form of energy in our known universe, and as you scream no one can help or hear you because they donít know whatís going on since the weed whacker sound of your ****ty tiny little muffler which makes the Civic sound like a 747 rages on underneath making everyone turn at disgust and comment to thier husbands or wives how much of a dickweed you are by attaching that automotive abnormality to your stock economical daily driver engineered by Japanese Automotive specialists to fit the needs for entry level business workers in their early 30's, however your pathetic looking $11,000 car which you want to look like a friggin spaceship with redundant ground effects is now out of control since you are blinded, and as your car plunges off the side of a cliff while you scream in the purest form of terror while knowing you have lived a horrid excuse for a life, by doing the bare minimum in every facet of existence, while getting fired from one pathetic job to another, the majority of your time spent slacking smoking dope, getting kicked out of school, polishing your "game" on sweet innocent underage girls you eventually 'de flower' through exhaustive yet succesful attempts to get the date rapist drugs you have stashed in the glove compartment, into your poor victims drinks while offering them to take the "Pepsi Challenge" while making your mother hate you, and your poor father who wishes he had a daughter instead of your pathetic ass, since a girl would be more of a man than you ever were, like the occasion when you were hit in the arm by a wild pitch in little league, then you cried like a fat kid who dropped his ice cream cone, I'm already envisioning you impacting the rocks below, in a spectacular fireball ignited from the residue hairspray from your girlfriend plastered in the fabric passenger seat, blinded by your earring, deafened by the loud "Bling Blingin", and I will smile and roll around on the ground in orgasmic delight while you are consumed by flames whose intense heat and fury will liquefy your bone marrow that I will use to make jelly beans out of and eat them happily at your funeral as midgets dressed like Alex 6005321 from "A Clockwork Orange" dance around your coffin to loud industrial style techno music and strobe lights, and I will sleep soundly at night knowing another successful conquest of Darwinism has been attained. So...you can either use the system I'm selling like the fore- mentioned guy did, or you can buy it from this Cadet and use it properly and enjoy the compliments people will give you as you pass and let them listen to your outstanding taste in fine diverse music. Disclaimer: -No..Im not crazy...Following my 8 years of Military Service as a Naval Aviator, I plan to be a screenwriter. And no, you cant hire me...yet. I almost forgot, the RESERVE is UBER low, like dirt cheap. Shipping might be a bit expensive so if anyone is close to THE CITADEL, in Charleston South Carolina I can arrange a delivery, or you may pick it up. Thank you, if you have any questions please donít hesitate to ask. My profile and feedback is immaculate. Thank you. [email protected] if you need to get in contact with me for any reason.
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 04:39 PM
  #2
Registered
 
Playn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: BRENTWOOD, TN
Posts: 4,367
Default

Playn is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 05:24 PM
  #3
Registered
 
HyperBaja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Lewis Center, Ohio
My Boats: 1990 Baja 190 DSR
Posts: 3,606
Default

hahahaha!!!! I have 2 friends with civics like that, one has a hatchback with a 1.5l and 1800watts....You bet I race him, not in the thunderbird 5.0, not out firebird, not our vette, but rather on foot. I was actually a length in front of him until i fell over laughing that I was in front!!
HyperBaja is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 10:35 PM
  #4
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
 
CAP071's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 16,430
Default

My cousin put an ad one last year for a ass whooping Ebay pulled it off after 4 days. He even said he would deliver it for free!


I seen used hooter's shorts LOL
CAP071 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 10:49 PM
  #5
Registered
 
Madcow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Toledo Oh
My Boats: Cigarette Top Gun, Scarab Center Console
Posts: 1,915
Default

Madcow is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2003, 02:22 AM
  #6
The Senior Charter Member #1070
Charter Member
 
Tbonepmp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: STL / LOTO
Posts: 2,083
Default

__________________
(What you see, is what you get!)
"Live every day to it's fullest for you give a day of your life to it."
Tbonepmp is offline  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
diggerman
General Racing Discussion
1
09-08-2006 11:38 AM
diggerman
General Boating Discussion
0
09-06-2006 03:51 AM
diggerman
General Q & A
0
09-06-2006 03:44 AM
merlin
Excalibur
1
03-30-2005 01:51 PM



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:09 PM.


Copyright 2011 OffShoreOnly. All rights reserved.