Revised top ten powerboat lies:
 

With all the boat shopping/work and running that has been done, any new funny ones?

On start up, CG guy said, Nice 454, I said thanks, its only the 330 ;) :D

Yea..... my boat runs 100mph yea that's right a 110 mph:drool:

Lies........I cannot tell a lie!!!! My boat runs 96.4 on GPS with a single 502 mag MPIwith an arneson surface drive and a full cabin and Cooler!!!:D :D

I always like when people describe something as "new", "like new" or "better than new" and you go to look and the item is begging for a bullet to put it out of its misery.

"Dyno Time Only"

"Yeah, it's one of them cigarette boats."

Or like I tell all the little kids on the neighborhood every time I start it up in the driveway (they usually come running!). "Yeah, it's a race boat."

I would get 5 more MPH if I had the right props on it.

My boat says CIGARETTE RACING 1 in big letters down the sides of the top deck. Everywhere I go people ask me if I race and I reply no. Then they always give me a bunch of sh!t about "well if you dont race then why does it say it on the side":mad:

So now I just tell them "yeah" and most people seem content with that and dont ask any further questions:rolleyes: :)

You race to the islands dont you?

By the way, your going to have to spend a little more money at the island, or leave!! :eek: :eek: :D

1. "It goes 70 MPH"
2. "I have another offer for $179,000"
3. "The check is in the mail"
4. "I love you"
5. "I promise not to ???? in your ?????"

My favorite is is the one from every review from powerboat magazine. IF YOUR LOOKING FOR _________ IN A BOAT THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU. Has anyone ever seen them say anything bad about a boat? I'm waiting for the review that say's "Every other boat since the ark has been leading up to this boat".

as posted by Team Baja
:mad: :mad: :mad: :rolleyes: :crazy: :D

Another good one is "Well, I just had it appraised for a gajillion dollars but I will sell it to you for only 80k":rolleyes:

"this'll only hurt for a little while"
"I'll only stick the head of it in"

Opps, wrong lies. :rolleyes:

Whats the matter Barney not pickin' out the hotties lately?:p ;)

"0" hours on new power, 80 MPH.

If you have zero hours on the new power how do you know how fast it will go?

"It's just like a Skater..........."

Or my personal favorite

"The Skater of Vee Bottoms"........What the heck does that mean?

T2x

From the dealer.... Oh don't worry about that, I will fix it right away. Or my favorite 1988/2000 whats up with that, did you use the old hull for a mold and build a new boat?

"There is only 1 guy who can say this without lying.........Spiderman

Biggest lie on the planet is "Boat is Turn Key

T2x........ "The Skater of posters":p :p :p

LOL T2x...:D:D:D

nobody said you couldn't " TURN the key " but after that, your pretty much on your own... ;) ;) :D :D

"Bar" boat speed = True boat speed + an additional 10% for every drink consumed.

"Bar" speed to me is the speed...and reasons given....... that send the listener out on a mission to completely change...and screw up..... his current set up.

"Didja hear that So and So gained 40 mph by having his spark plugs anodized?"

T2x

Damn , I'm sending out my plugs to have them anodized!!!! :D

Any phrase that uses the word " too"
as an adjective.
A few examples, when the boat speed
is less than claimed : "too much fuel on board"
"too small of props", "too big of props",
"too many people on board", "waters too
rough", "waters too smooth", "it's too hot out"

Do you see a pattern forming yet :D

That is the precise language used by every offshore racer I ever spoke to after a race......... except the guys in first place.

Just once, I'd like to hear....... "That team is better than us"... The earth would move...and the average team would get a LOT better.

T2x

Too used as a truth;
We're too slow
I'm too fat
I drink too much

"Needs minor work." Bulls#$%t.
If you bothered to put that in the ad, it needs MAJOR work. If it really needed only minor work, the ad would have read "Better than new." :D

Custom rigged by _____

We'll stand behind our product!
Yea we'll back out of the deal when we get your money!


I make $ 350,000 a year - Yea but your tax returns say you made $ 65,000!

You'll make 22% profit on our boats! Yea right - why are you selling them to me at full retail?

BH