The new Bill of Rights
 

:D:D:D:D
"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure
the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden,
delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold
these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of
people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so
dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."
>
>
> ARTICLE I:
>
> You do not have the right to a new car, big screen
> TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if
> you can legally acquire them, but no one is
> guaranteeing anything.
>
> ARTICLE II:
>
> You do not have the right to never be offended. This
> country is based on freedom, and that means freedom
> for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the
> room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
> etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably
> always will be ... and like the rest of us you need
> to simply deal with it.
>
>
> ARTICLE III:

> You do not have the right to be free from harm. If
> you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be
> more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to
> make you and all your relatives independently
> wealthy.
>
>
> ARTICLE IV:
>
> You do not have the right to free food and housing.
> Americans are the most charitable people to be
> found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we
> are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
> after generation of professional couch potatoes who
> achieve nothing more than the creation of another
> generation of professional couch potatoes.
>
>
> ARTICLE V:
>
> You do not have the right to free health care. That
> would be nice, but from the looks of public housing,
> we're just not interested in public health care.
>
> ARTICLE VI:
>
> You do not have the right to physically harm other
> people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or
> kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us
> want to see you fry in the electric chair.
>
>
> ARTICLE VII:
>
> You do not have the right to the possessions of
> others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods
> or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if
> the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
> place where you still won't have the right to a big
> screen color TV, pool tables, weight rooms or a life
> of leisure.
>
>
> ARTICLE VIII:
>
> You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure
> want you to have a job, and will gladly help you
> along in hard times, but we expect you to take
> advantage of the opportunities of part time jobs,
> education and vocational training laid before you to
> make yourself useful.
>
> ARTICLE IX:
>
> You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
> American means that you have the right to PURSUE
> happiness --which by the way, is a lot easier if you
> are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
> created by those of you who were confused by the
> Bill of Rights,"
>
>
> ARTICLE X:
>
> This is an English speaking country. We don't care
> where you are from. We welcome you here. English is
> our language and like the one you left behind, we
> also have a culture.

Learn it or go back to the country and the living conditions you were fleeing.

I like it! :D :D :D

:D :D :D Amen!!

You can put my John Henry on your Bill of Rights:)

:doggy: :doggy: :doggy: :doggy: :doggy:

Any input from the Catman??

Good one, Nick........

I concur!

Well said Nick..
I really agree with Art. X. It has a special meaning for me... because I'm from South Florida...

"Hey Mang! Jus what is dat suppos to meang?"

i second that bill of rights , baja daze for president. you need to run in 2004 ! i doi't have any money but will work for boat ride and beer .

Okay. Sounds good.
We have 9 votes so far! I think that's a quorum(?).
We're good to go.

The official campaign slogan will be "A Beer and A boat Ride"

I think our chances are good. Everyon who votes for us will get a beer and a boat ride; It's that simple.

My cabinet will consist solely of OSO members. I will be appointing a "Common Sense Judge"(CSJ) as my first order of business. He will be in charge of hearing all cases before they get to the real court. This will eliminate billions of dollars wasted in useless lawsuits. The CSJ will be the one to tell the dumb beeotch who spilled coffee on herself and the fat kid who ate himself to 500-pounddom to go F-off and quit wasting our time.

Therefore we will pay half the taxes we do now and this means bigger boats for everyone. Fuel will be free if it is used in a boat. You will get a tax credit if you drive a big truck used for towing a boat.

If you don't speak English you will be deported until you learn. If you don't have a job or are unwilling to work, you'll be shipped to Cuba. If you steal big-screen TV's, we will throw it on you, etc.

Okay. We have a plan. Action 2004!

:D:D:D

baja daze, I have a small favor to ask, I want to be the one that handles all of the whinners, tree huggers, mantee lovers, noise police with one stipulation I get to shoot them or deport them to cuba,thanks Robbie.

Ok... Lets not start with the cuban ****. : D Most of us have learned the language and those who can't perfect if because they came here too old... their kids will have no choice. I agree though that no special government assistance / taxpayer money should go to accomodate someone that just does not want to learn the language but for the most part (with Cubans) its a mispreception. We come here for the American Dream just like your ancestors did. (Unless you are Native American and were already here. ) Everything else... I agree with.

I don't want to be president, I want to be Emperor. That way I don't give a damn if the congress wants to pass some stupid azz law for political clout. The country will be ruled by common sense.

Right on Nick!

I came to this country when I was 14 and didn't know a word of english.
I have somehow survived and thrived ........ without any government sponsored special education quotas, welfare, foodstamps or any handouts of any sort!

Nick -- Not trying to start $hit here, but how is the expression of political views in this thread any different from the Catman's expression of political views?

Catman -- Don't get the idea I agree with your politics, I just don't believe in double standards.

This is a post for laughter and enjoyment. It is surely not intended for any other purpose. Simply a little fun. It is the people that take things like this the wrong way and turn, twist, tweak, modify and manipulate them into personal attacks and conjecture. RELAX!

Can I vote twice??:D :D

It's a friggin' joke. :D:D:D You can't for one second think this is serious, can you? ;)

fountain1fan,
You got it man, we need all the help we can get!

frequentflyer,
Nothing against Cuba, random choice. It could have been any random, isolated island off the coast; just the first to come to mind. :)

georges,
Two Thumbs-up, man! That's awesome.

Thanks Shane!

Thrill,
All OSO members get two votes!

;) :D :cool:

[P.S. it's a joke]

Ah hell! You got me again. I was getting campaign info for you. I guess I for one took it serious.;)

Boy do I agree with that.

:D :D :eureka: Thrill I'm voting twice, hell I live in South Florida, oh chit I'm a Republican I can only vote once. We can all be part of the VAST RIGHTWING CONSPIRACY:cool:

I'm forwarding to Rush:eureka: