My new engine building service...
 

O.K. -- guys and girls, my new engine building "service" is OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!! Finally, an HONEST engine builder!

Due to all the horror stories on the board about moronic or dishonest engine builders, I am COMPELLED to help you guys out.

OSO, please do not delete or move this thread and I will give you 10% of the proceedes!!!

I have no mechanical skills to speak of, and I am COMPLETELY baffled by the internal combustion engine. Also, I will deliver your completed high performance engine when I am good and ready (+ or - a few parts). That date will have no correlation to our agreed upon completion date. YOU HAVE MY 100% GUARANTY on that.

NEVERTHELESS, I will only charge HALF of what the self-proclaimed "experts" in this field cost. Sure your motor may not run. If it does run, it probably won't run long. But look at your SAVINGS! I have screwed you for far less than those other guys would!

Then when you are finally convinced I am a mechanical idiot (I tried to tell you), I will refer you to a REAL MARINE ENGINE BUILDER. Now how many of you people got that kind of service from the last guy that screwed you?!?

By the way, for those of you concerned that I might get your motor and F*#@ it up worse than it already is, just PM me your address, I will send you the bill for the work, and we can save you the shipping cost on the engine. Once I recieve your payment, I will be happy to send you the name of a builder in your area.

Damn. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner. Come to think of it, anyone who desires to be screwed retroactively can PM me as well, and I can backdate a work order for you. Now how's THAT for service!?!:D

Finally!!!
 

A mechanic who will do what he says!!!

Has my vote as man of the year!!!

:) :)

Wannabe

great idea...people should be bending over frontwards to give you work...if you can promise a quick turn around.....I'm in..nothing beats getting hosed in a timely fashion...and all the other guys take forever to jam it in.



by the way...I got a good line on bulk lube should this venture take off. just another service to offer...

Well, at least he's honest.......:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: Wardey

I still think that I can do it on time, better and, cheaper and than YOU :D

Ill go one step farther and actually blow the engine up for you, no extra charge. Beat that. LOL

LMFAO! :)

:D

Did you used to be in the plumbing business in Arkansas? If so, I think I know you.

ROFLMAO - Even the Missus had to know what I was cracking up about.

ROFLMAO:D :D :D

WildThing: Where did you get a copy of my business model?!?:D

Dont forget
 

You must be located in some redneck panhandle town so you can get out quick when the client comes for a refund:mouse: :mouse:

Re: Dont forget
 

REFUND!?! Are you questioning my INTEGRITY?!?

I WILL come through for ALL of my clients, just like I said above! Why would I need to give refunds?:crazy:

Our favorite saying when a customer asks when it will be done we say 2 weeks, and in 2 weeks they ask again we say 2 weeks thats what we told you before... And when the project is done the 2 weeks are up!!! (its just a joke!)

Hey, Double D Engines will take your money and still be your friend! You can call all you want on our 1-900 hotline.

You must take my $ 1500.00 up front - keep my engine 7 months - steal my good parts and never finish my engine - be here at Lake Lanier and last name is _arrisson. Now that is a honest guy! BH

WildThing...LMAO! Boy does that problem solving sheet bring back memories! I had that posted in shop class in highshool about 14yrs ago!!! :D (HOLY COW HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG!) anyway i awlays wanted to go back and get another copy of it....thanks!!! :D

Great problem solving sheet....

Wild Thing
 

LMAO. I've printed it and copied our maintenance dept.:D

My check is in the mail! :D

Where do I send my money??

Hey I can beat KaamaScarab30's prices by half and get the job done just as fast!