OT: Thursday PM Humor Attempt !!
09-03-2003, 01:58 PM
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OT: Thursday PM Humor Attempt !!
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass, what made you come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced my hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had one just like mine and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and I figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy,! I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about Thou Shalt Not Steal' you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right?"
Murphy shook his head and said, "No, Father, after you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left my hat."
After Mass, the priest caught Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass, what made you come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced my hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had one just like mine and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and I figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy,! I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about Thou Shalt Not Steal' you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right?"
Murphy shook his head and said, "No, Father, after you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left my hat."
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09-03-2003, 04:45 PM
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Ed Zachary Disease
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese Sex Therapist. So she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me." So she did.
Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, that why you not haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease? Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese Sex Therapist. So she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me." So she did.
Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, that why you not haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease? Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
