Offshoreonly.com - You know you're in California when......

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings
and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still
can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked
at two people carrying on a
conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has
purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Breeze.

5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that
has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about
where your coffee beans are grown,
and you can taste the difference
between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You know which restaurant serves
the freshest arugula.

9. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can
totally move you to tears.

11. A low speed police pursuit will
interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more
than anywhere else in the U.S.

13. A man gets on the bus in full
leather regalia and crotchless
chaps. You don't even notice.

14. Unlike back home, the guy at
8:30am at Starbucks wearing the
baseball cap and sunglasses who
looks like George Clooney really IS
George Clooney.

15. Your car insurance costs as much
as your house payment.

16. Your hairdresser is straight, your
plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is into S &M,
and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in
drag.

17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

18. It's barely sprinkling rain and
there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH 2003."

19. You have to leave the big company
meeting early because Billy Banks
himself is teaching the 4:00pm Tae
Bo class.

20. You pass an elementary school
playground and the children are all
busy with their cells or pagers.

21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside,
so you leave for work an hour early
to avoid all the weather-related
accidents.

22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

23. Both you AND your dog have therapists