OT: More Darwin awards roll in.
12-05-2003, 11:59 AM
#1
VIP Member
VIP MemberThread Starter
OT: More Darwin awards roll in.
I thought you snowmobilers would like # 7
1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer
grate to retrieve his car keys.
2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who was always
"totally focused when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged
off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
3. Buxton , NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said Daniel Jones,21
dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in
a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying
him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used
their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarising. Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berren a, 20, was
stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flakvest Berrena was
wearing.
6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr , 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del,
as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27,
and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in
the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
AND THE WINNER:
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
constipated elephant 'Stefan' 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up elephant finally
let fly and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators
say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing eleph ant an
olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck
full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and
lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one
there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a
watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be
just one of those freak accidents that happen."
1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer
grate to retrieve his car keys.
2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who was always
"totally focused when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged
off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
3. Buxton , NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said Daniel Jones,21
dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in
a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying
him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used
their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarising. Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berren a, 20, was
stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flakvest Berrena was
wearing.
6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr , 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del,
as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27,
and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in
the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
AND THE WINNER:
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
constipated elephant 'Stefan' 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up elephant finally
let fly and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators
say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing eleph ant an
olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck
full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and
lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one
there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a
watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be
just one of those freak accidents that happen."
12-05-2003, 12:06 PM
#3
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
#7: At least he didn't lose. (cause losing would REALLY suck)
Winner: Shame that happened to the zookeeper. If he had only known that was gonna happen, he coulda got rich instead of dead. All he'd have had to do is put up a webcam and advertise it on one of those Japanese Poopy Fetish websites for $4.99
Winner: Shame that happened to the zookeeper. If he had only known that was gonna happen, he coulda got rich instead of dead. All he'd have had to do is put up a webcam and advertise it on one of those Japanese Poopy Fetish websites for $4.99
Charter Member
12-05-2003, 03:24 PM
#10
Registered
unfortunately #7 happend to two of my high school friends...a very talented young hydro racer named Scotty Hooghkirk and his friend Bobby Shoenhar...
It was around 1987, they were on a frozen lake upstate NY and decided to play chicken...and well, the result was #7...
It was a sad day when we got the news.
It was around 1987, they were on a frozen lake upstate NY and decided to play chicken...and well, the result was #7...
It was a sad day when we got the news.
