Stinson's Coming to JOISEY!
08-14-2002, 10:19 AM
#1
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Location: Toms River, NJ
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Stinson's Coming to JOISEY!
Now you listen here you CA "yo -duuuuuuude" kinda guy..we need to make sure when you get to NJ....you hit the ground running!
1. We will need to get you a spaghetti stained tank top just like BCC's...........
2. I have a 25% off coupon for you to ED'S GOLD NECKCHAIN PALACE...........(Reggie shops there)
3. I have you setup to attend language classes to you can understand what the F----- we're saying!
4. Very important information relating to NJ:
YOU MIGHT BE FROM JERSEY IF...
* You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.
* You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them.
* You think a mountain is that big freakin' hill in Atlantic Highlands.
* You know Asbury Park is no longer the mecca of East Coast resort towns.
* Even though there's a new Wal-Mart in your town, you still go to the Englishtown Auction for cheap stuff.
* You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.
* Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.
* You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.
* You can smell and know when it's low tide.
* The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.
* There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way... "yous gotta problem wit dat?"
* You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.
* You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.
* You know what skeeball is and you can get three 50's in a row.
* You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey.
* You've run out of money on the Parkway.
* You're Italian.
* You know where to get the best bagels and pizza.
* Donald Trump is mentioned at least daily in your local paper.
* You say "water" weird. (Wooder, Cawfee, Dowg, wadever).
* Even your school made good Italian subs.
* You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano.
* You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.
* You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros.creation.
* You only go to New York City for day trips.
* You know what a "jug handle" is.
* You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.
* You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it.
* You go to at least one parade at the boardwalk each year.
* You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in New Jersey if the Nets didn't blow,"
* You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)!
* In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.
* Route 18 doesn't freak you out at night.
* Because your town was founded before 1776, all the restaurants, taverns and shops have "ye," "olde," and "colonial" in their names.
* You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.
* You once said, "It smells like New York in here."
* You've waited for the damn drawbridge for more than 20 damn minutes.
* At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.
* There's a fruit and vegetable stand down the road.
* "Anyone who makes bad pizza can go to hell" is your attitude.
* You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn" while driving.
* You don't take any **** from anybody. Especially from someone from New York, because you live here for christ's sake and just who the hell do they think they are anyway? Invading our damn beaches and bars, they're just here for the damn summer and they think they own the damn place and....
* You've gone to the race track with twenty different daily double bets from twenty different people.
* You've spent St Patrick's day in Belmar.
* You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a supermarket, but actual individual stores.
* You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.
* One time, a sea gull **** on your head.
* You've eaten at a Windmill, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least a dozen times.
* You know what a "benny" is and can pick one out at the beach.
* You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one Dunkin' Donuts.
* You're an aggressive driver.
* At least 5 people in your immediate family have asthma.
* Your drinking water should not be used for drinking.
* Your town has more water restrictions than people living in "dry" states i.e. Arizona, and Nevada.
* Potholes are as common as mosquitoes.
* You believe pigeons carry hand guns.
1. We will need to get you a spaghetti stained tank top just like BCC's...........
2. I have a 25% off coupon for you to ED'S GOLD NECKCHAIN PALACE...........(Reggie shops there)
3. I have you setup to attend language classes to you can understand what the F----- we're saying!
4. Very important information relating to NJ:
YOU MIGHT BE FROM JERSEY IF...
* You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.
* You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them.
* You think a mountain is that big freakin' hill in Atlantic Highlands.
* You know Asbury Park is no longer the mecca of East Coast resort towns.
* Even though there's a new Wal-Mart in your town, you still go to the Englishtown Auction for cheap stuff.
* You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.
* Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.
* You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.
* You can smell and know when it's low tide.
* The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.
* There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way... "yous gotta problem wit dat?"
* You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.
* You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.
* You know what skeeball is and you can get three 50's in a row.
* You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey.
* You've run out of money on the Parkway.
* You're Italian.
* You know where to get the best bagels and pizza.
* Donald Trump is mentioned at least daily in your local paper.
* You say "water" weird. (Wooder, Cawfee, Dowg, wadever).
* Even your school made good Italian subs.
* You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano.
* You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.
* You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros.creation.
* You only go to New York City for day trips.
* You know what a "jug handle" is.
* You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.
* You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it.
* You go to at least one parade at the boardwalk each year.
* You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in New Jersey if the Nets didn't blow,"
* You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)!
* In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.
* Route 18 doesn't freak you out at night.
* Because your town was founded before 1776, all the restaurants, taverns and shops have "ye," "olde," and "colonial" in their names.
* You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.
* You once said, "It smells like New York in here."
* You've waited for the damn drawbridge for more than 20 damn minutes.
* At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.
* There's a fruit and vegetable stand down the road.
* "Anyone who makes bad pizza can go to hell" is your attitude.
* You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn" while driving.
* You don't take any **** from anybody. Especially from someone from New York, because you live here for christ's sake and just who the hell do they think they are anyway? Invading our damn beaches and bars, they're just here for the damn summer and they think they own the damn place and....
* You've gone to the race track with twenty different daily double bets from twenty different people.
* You've spent St Patrick's day in Belmar.
* You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a supermarket, but actual individual stores.
* You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.
* One time, a sea gull **** on your head.
* You've eaten at a Windmill, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least a dozen times.
* You know what a "benny" is and can pick one out at the beach.
* You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one Dunkin' Donuts.
* You're an aggressive driver.
* At least 5 people in your immediate family have asthma.
* Your drinking water should not be used for drinking.
* Your town has more water restrictions than people living in "dry" states i.e. Arizona, and Nevada.
* Potholes are as common as mosquitoes.
* You believe pigeons carry hand guns.
08-14-2002, 11:40 AM
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This list is twice as funny if you're actually from jersey. I can personally vouch for the St Patricks day parade in belmar. I live there, and im irish. And have been know to drink a beer or 2......
McGary
McGary
08-14-2002, 12:32 PM
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Gold Member
ROTFLMAO!!!!
McGary911 is right, you have to be from Jersey to really understand some of it.
I had a boss that was from Long Island and he mentioned that he used to go to Seaside in the summer. I called him a Benny, and he knew what I meant!
BTW we still have a few items in our pantry that came from Shop-Rite.
I once used the term "yous guys" and got a bunch of funny looks. The only ones that knew the term were for Jersey or New York.
Damn!!
Now you got me thinkin'bout moving back to Toms River again.
McGary911 is right, you have to be from Jersey to really understand some of it.
I had a boss that was from Long Island and he mentioned that he used to go to Seaside in the summer. I called him a Benny, and he knew what I meant!
BTW we still have a few items in our pantry that came from Shop-Rite.
I once used the term "yous guys" and got a bunch of funny looks. The only ones that knew the term were for Jersey or New York.
Damn!!
Now you got me thinkin'bout moving back to Toms River again.
08-14-2002, 02:06 PM
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Originally posted by rick32
What's a benny !? I would have mentioned that in my first East Coast blast a year ago......( Spagetti Stains, Apaches , Gold Chains and Wife Beaters.) had I known....
** NOTE: YOU GUYS BACK EAST ARE ALL ****ED !!! YOur water sucks and your woman are are UGLY too ! ** That's for sure.....a bunch of forking freaks.....geeezussss....
How Stinson and BCC Both got back there.....who knows... ??
I just hope they come home to visit....
Cheer's from sunny So. Cal,
Rick32
What's a benny !? I would have mentioned that in my first East Coast blast a year ago......( Spagetti Stains, Apaches , Gold Chains and Wife Beaters.) had I known....
** NOTE: YOU GUYS BACK EAST ARE ALL ****ED !!! YOur water sucks and your woman are are UGLY too ! ** That's for sure.....a bunch of forking freaks.....geeezussss....
How Stinson and BCC Both got back there.....who knows... ??
I just hope they come home to visit....
Cheer's from sunny So. Cal,
Rick32
As this post posted I was on the phone with BG #2. and he sends the following regards- "Your F'ing Orange Hat is now a turn buoy in the canal on 188th...He also says if you redeem yourself next time your in town you can swim out and get it. Also states That the new owner of Cigarette is having miniture remote controlled boat races in the canal with the Cigarette personell @ 3:30 pm everyday and your hat is the first buoy they come to. And next week when he's here for the SCOPE Poker Run he'll give you free instructions on how to operate a high performance boat or parachute operating instructions. Now fix the language in your post.
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Dying,....Is the day worth living for!!!!!!
Dying,....Is the day worth living for!!!!!!
08-14-2002, 02:12 PM
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The Illustrious One
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DaveP...My brotha I have to put some thought into a response to that post. I will get back to you in a few minutes bro....
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Dying,....Is the day worth living for!!!!!!
Dying,....Is the day worth living for!!!!!!
