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STUPIDEST thing you have ever done, while boating...

Old 03-04-2007, 10:04 PM
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I was 16, and had an 18 foot wellcraft, my friends and I were jumping the larger boat wakes in the galveston ship channel. This 55-60ft chriscraft motoryacht was crusing a few hundred yards in front of us, and it was putting up a prettty nice wake. So I gunned it and headed right for the wake,, (from behind), As I entered the wake of the chriscraft, it got pretty choppy,,and, The wood under the captains chair was rotten,, the chair gave way,, I fell back on the floor. Now Im in complete panic, because the last vision I had was us headed right for the cockpit of the motor yacht,, , I scrambled to the wheel,, and while still on my hands and knees turned the wheel with everything I had.. The boat spun,, and Fire Hosed Everybody In the backof the motoryacht cockpit, (if it was a sailboat it probably would have been funny), anyway,, scared the crap out of us,, and we raced back to the dock, and laid low for the next few days.
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Old 03-04-2007, 11:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Rice Hauler View Post
I alluded to this incident once in an earlier thread but I may as well elaborate a bit.
Summer of 2000 and I had just hit Lake Erie with my latest Rice Hauler. A 2000 Single Step Top Gun.
I have a date with me and I am hoping to impress her and everyone else within eyesight with my matching cig shirt, swim shorts, windbreaker, shoes, towels, key floaters, etc. and oh yeah the boat too.
We head out to one of the major performance hot spots on Lake Erie's kelly's Island. The Casino Restaurant. The Casino has it's own boat basin and the front row is reserved only for Offshore performance boats. This is only my second or third time there but I am one of the newest Cig's and so nattily attired in matching shirt, shorts, and shoes, that they dock us up right in front with The outdoor tiki bar and restaurant looking down not 5 feet above us onto the GLEAMING nose of my newest expression of virility and boating prowess. At 5'8" and 170lbs. wet (yes this all is leading somewhere) I am a STUD as I cooly follow my date and walk off the boat and onto the dock.
I spend a relaxing day discussing the virtues of EVERYTHING Cigarette. She spends the day wishing I would just shut up already. As the afternoon wanes on I am sure that everyone within earshot now believes that I bleed Cig red and black, and could captain a boat to the moon if I so desired.
I decide that it is time to head for home and round up my date and as the assembled cocktail hour throng of people watch and listen,(it seemed like there were at least a couple of hundred there) I cooly tell her that proper boating etiquette DEMANDS that we walk across the other 2 two boats swim platforms that we are rafted too and then onto our waiting TOP GUN.
I casually follow her scantily clad bottom and instruct her to hand me the stern line.......
The next thought that I had was that the water was unusually cold and clear and I wonder to myself if anyone saw me go in. Hopfully not. Maybe I could just hold my breath underwater until they close for the night? Who would be the wiser. As I contemplate the relative merits of drowning vs. crawling out I unfortunately float to the surface and one of the attentive Dock Jocks reaches in and hauls me out to the uproar of the crowd and my date.
You really cannot leave quick enough after a stunt like that with all your coolness and panache washed off and lying at the bottom of the lake. The cold water squelching in your shoes and your shirt and windbreaker sticking to you. But the worst part is that at least once a year someone mentions that they were there and that it was one of the funniest things that they have ever seen. I just try and agree and hope that by next season they will have all forgotten.
Rice Hauler
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Old 03-04-2007, 11:59 PM
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I passed the water patrol sheriff doing about 73mph on the intracoastal waterway which has a 30mph speed limit. Did not realize who I was passing until I had already passed him. The lights came on and I kept going. He never caught me in his 23' CC with a 150 Merc that day but the next day he saw me and stopped me. He was pretty cool, boarded the boat, looked around, he talked for a while and said don't ever do that again.
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Old 03-05-2007, 12:22 AM
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Backed boat into water on the sea trial, all excited I started boat with drives all the way up. After poor performance backing out of the dock I realized my mistake.
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Old 03-05-2007, 12:29 AM
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I thought I told this before but I guess I will tell it again..
I use to have a Rinker Cruiser and I towed it with a 1979 Chevy Truck 4x4 with a lift on it. Well the first time I took the ex out on the boat she could not drive a boat or the truck. She was only 5ft tall so she could barely even get in the truck. Well I thought I was the man and was taking her out boating and backed the truck down the ramp and she was on the docks watching. The truck wasn't the best runner so when I decided to take the boat off the trailer I left it running and just set the emergency brake. When I was backing the boat off the trailer the em brake snapped and the truck started coming in with the boat!! I freaked out for a minute and slammed the boat in forward and the poor rinker was struggling to keep the truck out fo the water. Nobody was at the boat ramp because it was a weekday and I was sitting there thinking what I could possible do now because the ex is worthless in this sitution. I was trying to yell to her to get in the truck to hit the brake but with the motor of the boat it was a task to even yell to her. She eventually heard me and she had such a hard time getting in the truck that she just reached in and hit the brake with her hand. It was enough though to save the truck and for me to get the situation back under control. It just made a great first impression on her though about boating and how nice and relaxing it is. I also looked real intelligent that day. The next day the truck caught on fire in my driveway.
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Old 03-05-2007, 01:04 AM
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this was in sandiego, early 90' racing sponsor sold pwc's and we like to go offshore, the bigger the better..saw on the news big storm comming tomorrow, called in sick to work..put in at mission bay, headin out it sstarted raining pretty hard, got out to the jetties and it was ugly, completely washing over the jetties we pin it..get about a mile or two offshore in 1~2story house size el nino swell waves and we start getting pelted by golf ball size we are offshore, in the water trying to hold the pwc with one hand and the seat over our heads with the other while bobbing around in 15 foot seas. small craft warning dont apply to pwc's do they?? I gulped a lot of salt water that day.
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Old 03-05-2007, 03:10 AM
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Back in 1989 fresh from college I took my new 4 winns liberator to stone harbor nj on vacation we were up near townsand inlet and there was a pontoon boat with a hot-dog and bun on the top of selling hot dogs so we pull in to it and the guy working on it sticks his foot out to pull my stern in to boat and slips and falls straight into the water between the boats i still laugh about that
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Old 03-05-2007, 06:50 AM
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Going out of Port Everglades driving a 36 Concept, stuffed it,twice.
Was idling out (dumb ass move) under the bridge when some douche in a 65 foot Carver goes by half on plane throwing ohh id say about 6 footers. All of the 5 ladies up front got drenched, i ducked ( ). The funniest part of the whole vacation
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Old 03-05-2007, 09:15 AM
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I got in a hurry last year. I had Dinah on the boat. After a couple of drinks, she wanted to get busy in the cabin!

It was real windy out and my anchor wasn't holding. I did not want to be interupted by anything, so I decided to tie the boat to shore. I started the engines, put the gear into forward for a sec, went to neutral, shutdown the engines, and moved to the bow of the boat.

I sat there with a line when I noticed that the boat was moving too fast. (Here is the stupid part!) I stuck my foot out to stop a 10,000 pound boat from hitting the rocks. The boat didn't stop, the wind gusted, and the nose of the boat crushed the pinky toe off of my left foot!

I moved to the helm, got (the now topless) Dinah to hold a rag over the hole where the toe used to be, and I drove the boat back to the dock. I secured the boat and Dinah drove me to the ER. I couple hours later I am laying in her bed with stiches where my toe used to be, and she is taking care of me!

I lost my toe, but Dinah and I had a unique experence.
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Old 03-05-2007, 09:18 AM
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I was 21 and my folks were building a new house on the water. It was March and me and a buddy grabbed a 30 pack and headed down to the new place to do some early spring maintenance on my dad's sea-ray. It was getting late in the day and most of the 30 pack was now gone. All of a sudden i feel this pain in my stomach and I had to sh!t. The closest thing to a working toilet around was the construction workers porta-pot. I had opened the door to that thing earlier in the day and I knew that using this facility was NOT an option. We had the 20ft bertram tied up in the slip and it was March so there was no one out on the water. I decided I would put my feet on the side of the boat and my arms on the dock, hover over the water and in this position I would drop my payload into the creek. Everything is going well at first and I'm starting to think that i'm a genius. Then I start to feel the boat getting further and further away. I forgot to tighten the spring line! I start to panic as my arms get stretched out behind me and my toes are barely gripping the edge of the boat. My buddy hears me yelling and comes running down the pier only to see me in my last moment, pants around my ankles, body fully extended and then plummeting into my own feces. The water was about 37 degrees, but that meant nothiing to me compared the knowing what i was now swimming in. My buddy fell to the ground in laughter and couldn't even speak through his tears for the next 15 minutes. As if this wasn't embarassing enough, he later proceeded to tell everyone i know this story. To this day he still tells people the story at the least opportune times (or in his mind, the most opportune times).
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