Re: MIA: my dad
 

DAMN Tim I had no idea when we talked earlier today. Glad he made it home ok.

There are a few devices that may help track him that I know of. I will see if I can get you any info. However as has already been said it may be time to take away the keys. I remember when I actually told my mom it was time to take them away from her father. She did not want to do it but I kind of pushed her to it.

Jon

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Cord,

I have been following this thread, and am very glad to hear your dad has returned safely.

May I suggest that you honestly evaluate his capabilities for driving a motor vehicle. We had an incident last year in which an elderly man killed nine people and injured 55 people when he mistakenly thought he was pressing the brake, and was actually pressing the gas pedal. From your descriptions, it sounds like your father may be nearing that point.

I know this is one of the hardest things a son or daughter has to do, but think about the consequences, because they can be much worse. Now the elderly Santa Monica driver has to live with knowing he killed and injured so many people. He is being prosecuted for manslaughter. I'm sure he is devastated, and certainly the families of those who were killed or injured are. There were warning signs about his driving abilities long before the Santa Monica incident, and no one did anything about it. The result was tragedy.

In some cases, you can report elderly drivers to the DMV, and they will mandate a driving test. It is probably better though, just to convince the elderly relative that it is time to give up driving. Try to setup alternate transportation for him. There are senior citizen transportation services in many areas. Taxi's are always available. Relatives driving them to shopping and other activities are another option. Being lost for two days may be a good starting reason to make your case.

Good luck!

Michael

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Tim, glad to hear he is fine. Scary situation.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

All this makes me thankfull (it's Thanksgiving time, right?) that my middle 60's parents are still sharp as tacks. My father is one of the only drivers I can ride with in traffic without hitting that imaginary brake peddle on the passenger side. And he is about the only one I can manage to fall asleep while a passenger (I can fall asleep driving myself any day!! LOL!).

Now, navigation is NOT one of his strong suits! Used to end up in alley's and parking lots on family vacations as a kid. We ended up on the docks BEHIND a fish cannery in Boston once while trying to find the harbor. Talk about a fishy smell!!! Traffic circles.... round and round we go! Felt like we were making the movie "European Vacation" or something!! LOL!!

Re: MIA: my dad
 

I feel the same way as Michael1... My brother and I finally clipped our mother's wings... she was pissed off.... but she was starting to park by the braille method. She had totaled one car and had two minor accidents within one year... So... we... along with the astronomical insurance premiums .. finally convinced her to stop driving. She did pretty well unti she hit 84.. Then her driving skills went downhill fast.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Since he drives a GM vehicle, perhaps they could add an OnStar system. That way all you'd need to do is contact them and OnStar could always locate him. Also, very easy to operate, just push a button and your in contact with the OnStar rep.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

YES, do something if you plan on leaving the driving to your dad.

On-Star is good, but VERY expensive to both install and the monthlies are large.

LoJack sucks. This only works in large metro areas, and many parts of these do not have the LoJack radios. Forget this option.
========
Something to consider, is the system from On-Board Communications ( www.on-boardcommunications.com ).

I designed the system they are selling while a part of eTracker, Inc. Sadly, On-Board bought eTracker, and thusly all my technology, and proceeded to screw me out of most all the money they promised to pay. BUT, I still believe in this system.

It will work in the middle of absolute nowhere, you can get the location from the web, and if installed, you can even disable the starter, honk the horn, and unlock the doors.

You can do all this from a cell phone as well....

I don't know what they are selling systems for now, but we sold them for around $399 quantity one, with monthlies as low as $3.99. Once you start tracking, the charges were about 25 cents per position report, and about 75 cents to command the unit to do something....

Kent

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Good to hear that he is ok...

Re: MIA: my dad
 

My dad is still living independently in a different state. I have the feeling that he'll loose his driving abilities in a couple of years, but so long as he doesn't range far from home he'll be ok. Don't forget, that his motor skills are still good. He still is able to apply common sense and I feel is a safe driver. I promise that the moment that I can't say with conviction that he is a safe driver, that I'll take the keys away. At that point he'll have to sell the house and move up here. What is currently the problem is that he has lost his short term memory. His long term is great. He has been telling a bunch of stories from his younger days. The problem is that he can't remember having told the story earlier in the day so you have to listen to it again. And again. And again...

Mudball, no that sounds more feasible. I really can't justify spending a couple of hundred plus a monthly fee for something that will only be used a couple of times. I'll be looking into the service.

The onstar is a great idea. He won't think to use it, but to page him remotely would work well. Unfortinatly, his truck is pre-onstar. I'm sure that GM would rather have you buy a new vehicle than offer a retrofit kit. He'll never wear this one out, so that won't be happening.

I have gained power of attorney over his credit cards. I'm not going to take over his accounts. But next time, I'll be able to track him with the card. The credit card companies were actually very accomdating for this. This apparently is something that they have dealt with in the past and accept it as something they need help with.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Cord,

My sprint phone has tracking built into it. Not sure if it is GPS related but I believe it is. I have no idea how you get the phone people to run a track on it but you might want to check into it. Yes, you can turn the feature OFF on the phone, but it is several menus deep and once it is on (and mine is) then it would be hard for somebody to accidentally turn it off.

Sure, he would have to remember to bring it with him so that may not be so great.

So happy he is back at home.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

It's [email protected]
or [email protected]

Re: MIA: my dad
 

glad he is home . robbie

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Cord ... Some Cell phones have built in gps.. I think it has to be on to work but might work? Just a thought ...Glad all is well (Thank God!) My dad is 83 and the thought of him getting disoriented and lost hit home (he is always on the road)
Glad all is well!

Re: MIA: my dad
 

guys, be careful posting your e-mails, sites are routinely searched for addresses and your spammed. Try this
[email protected]

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Cord:

I am glad your father has been found. I hate to say this but it sounds as if your father is in the early stages of Alzhheimers. I recommend you take him to a specialist. It is very hard to see this happen to a loved one. You need to find someone in his hometown to check on him daily.

Good luck

Wannabe

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Woo hoo! Safe and sound!

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Cord,
I'm glad everything worked out. I was relieved to finally get to the post that said he was alright. I know how hard this had to be for you. I agree with Wannabe about getting your father evaluated. You need to know so as to start treatment if needed. Hopefully it's just old age and not Alzheimer's.

This thread has shown once again how many caring people we have on OSO. It's great to see people come out to help someone in need. We have a great group of people here.
Dan

Re: MIA: my dad
 

First off, I am relieved to hear that your father has returned safely.

Now for the ugly. . . my wife's grandparents were driving in their eighties. Since it was mostly local they did well, but disorientation was beginning to set in. Then one day, they went unaccounted for. Weeks passed. They were eventually found hundreds of miles away, in an isolated dead-end rural area outside San Diego. Evidently, they got lost, and drove until they ran out of gas. They were found a couple hundred yards outside the vehicle, in a shallow wooded ravine. . . dead, from exposure.

Sure, it's an extreme case - but a simple wrong turn can have TRAGIC consequences if the mind cannot properly function.

My wife's entire family had detectives up their ass for a solid year, because the g'parents had a sizeable amount of assets AND insurance. It was pretty bizarre being part of a 'murder' investigation.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

So I got my weekend phone call from my dad today. He regailed he enjoyed being up here and mentioned having some "problems" getting back home. He didn't remember having told me this earlier in the week. Then he told me something else. He said that he went outside and left the front door open. When he tried to go back inside, he opend the screen door too quickly and that closed the inside door. Naturally, it was locked. He said that he used to have a key hidden outside, but that he must of moved it. Rather than calling a locksmith, he broke a window. A nice and expensive double pane window. :rolleyes:

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Cord, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know first hand how difficult this is. I think that the idea of getting an eval done cannot be underestimated. They have drugs that slow the process down.

While I don't want you to respond on here, I would like for you to think about the following. Have you transferred his assets out of his name? There is a few reasons I'm saying this. First, if it is determined that he has alzheimers, after a period of time he will not be able to stay in the house himself. He will either need to live with one of his kids, or move into a home. All the money he has worked for will be gone...because you have to pay for the home somehow. I'm sure I'll get yelled at for that statement. That aside (as if that wasn't enough) - have you ever gotten those phone call solicitations to refi? If he isn't cognitive, he could be taken advantage of. Can he properly pay his bills? And not just asking him and he says yes, because of a sense of pride. You really need to know the truth (ie look at the bills themselves and see if they're being paid late, in the wrong amounts, or if he has received service interruption notices).

As a family, you should sit down and discuss the situation and come up with a plan together. If one person makes all the decisions, even if they have the best of intentions, it can cause dissention in the family.

And finally, I would talk to a lawyer.

I sincerely wish you well as you deal with this. The emotional toll is draining. It's not easy.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

COrd,

Glad dad is well. Best wishes.

Shane

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Bonnie-that's the one thing that I've been thinking of. He's been known to make some pretty rash decisions. He put new tires on his truck to make the trip up to me. His old ones only had 20k on them. I never thought about some schister trying to refinance his house. I'll give his bank a call and see if there is anything we can do to prevent that. As to an inheritance, I'm pretty sure that there won't be one. The home will get everything before he's bankrupt.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Tim, so glad everything turned out for the better.
As for a tracking system how about this link?
I have no other info except I received the link from someone here on OSO long time ago
It states it has a GPS tracking siystem available
Might be worth a look into

Re: MIA: my dad
 

My security company Buzz -Off Alarms Systems, offers a module that can be installed in an S10 in 30 minutes that allows you to call or log to website for vehicle location. Unit cost is $500 to help out. It can accurately provide mapquest map with vehicle location from a computer or will give nearest address or intersection via a phone. i also have models with panic button that can notify you with automated call if he is having an emergency.

Lojack is not an alternative for many reasons.
1) it is for stolen vehicle recovery only. If you report otherwise you are in violation of false police report and the police would certainly create a shock to someone driving a vehicle that is not stolen.
2) Lojack only works in areas that have antenna tower to activate stolen recovery.
3) Lojack only works in area where police cruiser has recovery equipped vehicles.

Our GPS device has nationwide coverage and on average 60 second answers to car location. If you need assistance call 813-882-8477.

Andy Buzz

Re: MIA: my dad
 

Great to hear that your father got home OK. I can only imagine what you were going through for those 48 hours. My grandmother suffers from dementia, check the spelling, so I know what you are going through there. Its rough haveing a conversation with her while she cant even remember your name. All you can do is take the precautions to prevent him from being victimized and to be safe. If I can help in any way let me know. cell 412-523-3562

Jason

Re: MIA: my dad
 

You are much more analytical when you view things trout. Often that's a good thing. I wish that it would be as simple as just taking his driving privilages away. If we do that, then he would have to sell his home and move up here. That's a lot to ask of a person.

Andy-your system actually sounds feasible. I'll be looking into it.

Re: MIA: my dad
 

I have to agree with Commander Trouty on this one.... I know how hard it is to see your parents age. My brother and I allowed our mother to "fool" us into thinking she was capable of taking care of herself... Until last year she lived 400 miles from me in Mesa Az. She still owns a home in SLC that she had visited earlier that month... then she developed a bleeding ulcer from not eating... I hadn't seen her for two years and she had really let herself go downhill... Because her husband had died, she basically became a "shut-in". Instead of cooking for herself... she damn near tried to live on vitamin pills... When I saw her in the hospital , she had shrunken down to 92 lbs. My Brother and I FORCED her to move close to us. WE BASICALLY HELD HER HOSTAGE while we packed up her sh!t and moved it to a retirement center where they feed her two meals a day. We also took away her car because she had totaled one car and wrecked her new one twice in one year. These are hard decisions to make, but someone has to make them, and they aren't capable of making the decisions for themselves any more. Now my mother is back to health and is doing much better. Granted, it means having to burden yourself with more responsibilities. But, if your father is closer to you, then you can asses his condition every day. You definately don't want him to end up like that old codger that killed ten people in Santa Monica. His excuse.... I thought I was stepping on the brake pedal. Yeah... he's smashing vegetable stands for TWO CITY BLOCKS and he hadn't figured out that he was on the gas. The only reason the car stopped is because it had so much debris under the front end the drive wheels were in the air. THIS WAS THE SECOND TIME the old guy had gotten confused and stepped on the gas instead of the brake... Except the first time he only ended up on the front porch of someone's house, and yet his children continued to let him drive. He's f---ed now.

I feel for you Cord... It's a tough decision to make... I had to make it and when it's over... things are so much better for everyone. My brother and I still let her write out the checks for her utilities.. but we oversee what she is doing so she doesn't overpay. Sometimes she is befuddled by the simplest things... she can't differentiate between a "credit" on a bill... and a charge.

I put her on my cell phone plan and gave her her own phone... and after great difficulty taught her how to turn it on and call me.. I'm on her speed dial, so all she has to do is hold down one button... and the phone is gps equipped. That way if she is lost... I could possibly find her.