Tim G.

> Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books
> himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life --
> until the boat sank.
He found himself swept up on the shore of an
> island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and
> coconuts.
>
> After about four months, he is lying on the beach
> one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In
> disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
>
> "I rowed from the other side of the island," she
> says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
>
> "Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have
> a rowboat wash up with you."
>
> "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat
> out of raw material found on the island. The oars were whittled from
> gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides
> and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
>
> "But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You
> had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
>
> "Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On
> the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial
> rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my
> kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools
> and used the tools to make the hardware." Ed is stunned.
>
> "Let's row over to my place," she says.
>
> After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at
> a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the
> boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow
> painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an
> expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumb struck.
>
> As they walk into the house, she says casually,
> "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to
> have a drink?"
>
> "No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't
> take any more coconut juice."
>
> "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I
> have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
>
> Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts,
> and they sit down on her couch to talk.
>
> After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
> announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
> like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet
> in the bathroom."
>
> No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the
> bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle.
> Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end
> inside of a swivel mechanism.
>
> "WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "What next?"
>
> When he returns, she greets him wearing 'nothing
> but vines' strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of
> gardenias.
> She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins
> suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been
> out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's
> something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
> been longing for all these months. You know..." She stares into his
> eyes.
>
> He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean ", he
> swallows excitedly;
>
> "......I can check my e-mail from here?"
>

Semper Fi