Offshoreonly.com - Rather poignant!

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
> Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound"
> that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,
of
> course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
> heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
> to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
> they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to
> Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that
> if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there
> is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
> than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in
> Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
> volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature
> and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
> proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
> breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into
> account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
> true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
> over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
> follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
> extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
> being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>