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A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

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Old 02-04-2005, 10:05 AM
  #1
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Default A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

See how you do:

Southerners Challange Yankees
>>
>>We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people
>>in the South are. We challenge any so-called smart
>>Yankee to take this exam administered by the Clemson
>>University Engineering Department:
>>
>>1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a
>>persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.
>>
>>2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest
>>when placed on blocks in your front yard?
>> A. '65 Ford Fairlane
>> B. '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
>> C. '64 Pontiac GTO
>>
>>3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a
>>capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour,
>>how many car radiators are required to condense the
>>product?
>>
>>4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700
>>RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be
>>harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in
>>size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many
>>Budweiser's will be drunk before the trees are cut
>>down?
>>
>>5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a
>>charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the
>>percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
>>
>>6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on
>>24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span
>>is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch
>>floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
>>collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
>>
>>7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land
>>in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has
>>five children. Can each of his grown children place a
>>mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
>>property for their electric appliances to sit out
>>front?
>>
>>8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900
>>yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45
>>MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions
>>on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
>>will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
>>
>>9. A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2
>>Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per
>>shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the
>>3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will
>>be smoked during the shift?
>>
>>10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate
>>of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town
>>that has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a
>>country-western singer?
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Old 02-04-2005, 10:25 AM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

I am kind of busy today, I don't know if I have time to read it to Buck.:d :d :d
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Old 02-04-2005, 10:46 AM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by WARPARTY36
I am kind of busy today, I don't know if I have time to read it to Buck.:d :d :d

That was harsh!
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Old 02-04-2005, 11:37 AM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by cuda
That was harsh!
No, that was FUNNY.... heck, his wife is an elementary school teacher... I'm sure one of her students could read it to him... slowly
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Old 02-04-2005, 12:13 PM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

Waterfoul~
Those were pretty good! This was sent to me a while back by Clearcut3


Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of
Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at
Northerners...or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...
...Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them
"you guys," even if both of them are women.

...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the
side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts)

...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly.

...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

...You don't know what a moon pie is.

...You've never had an RC Cola.

...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are
on road trips.

...You have no idea what a polecat is.

...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

...You don't have bangs.


...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his own TV fishing show.

...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife
show.

...You think more money should go to important scientific research at
your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach

...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on
an on-ramp to the highway.

...You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

...You call binoculars opera glasses.

...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of
the road and stopping.

...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob,
Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie,
Johnnie, Jimmie)

...You don't have Maw-maw's & Paw paw's.

..You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

...None of your fur coats are homemade
all together now you southerners.....awl swaaaanee !
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:32 PM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by WARPARTY36
I am kind of busy today, I don't know if I have time to read it to Buck.:d :d :d

thats funny. poor buck... hey buck, i got a question for ya too.. does your wife still consider you brother and sister or more so husband and wife... spittttt pinggggggg...

stecz
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Old 02-04-2005, 01:38 PM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by stecz20
thats funny. poor buck... hey buck, i got a question for ya too.. does your wife still consider you brother and sister or more so husband and wife... spittttt pinggggggg...

stecz
Now dats funny right there, I don't care who you are, that's funny dar!

Sorry Buck
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Old 02-04-2005, 02:05 PM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

I don't care who ya are; thats funny right there.
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Old 02-04-2005, 03:33 PM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Troutly
ROTFLMAO at those!!! I give them four

Funniest thing Waterfool has ever posted around here (besides the pics of himself in ladies underwear)
Ah... that was Audiofn fishman!!! I've never been, nor will I ever be, photographed in ladies underwear!!!!

Jon on the other hand.......
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Old 02-04-2005, 05:54 PM
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Default Re: A test for all you 'southern' boaters (This means you Buck!!)

go for it!
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