You can't make this stuff up.
 

The stories I have from this weekend at the Shootout could go on forever. The laughs were non stop. My stomach still hurts. I would love to tell them all but that would be impossible. One story in particular comes to mind. It's worthy enough to take the time to type out. So here goes...

We close Dog Days Saturday night. Of course the alcohol had been flowing freely by this time. Us being the responsible ones we all decided that it was entirely too early to call it a night. We grab a few cans of Red Bull to go and head to Bubba's condo for a night cap and some laughs.

There were 7 or 8 of us if I remember correctly. The victim of this story is the only name that matters. Big Mike was feeling no pain. Now for those of you who have never met Big Mike let me give you a short description of him. He could be a stunt double for Frankenstein. Let's just say he's been eating his wheeties.

After a quick breakfast cooked by our in house chef Mac we settled in the living room for some laughs. Big Mike and Bubba were in a twin recliner of some sort all kicked back and relaxed. Let me give you a visual of this. Imagine two whales sitting in a thimble. Pretty much sums it up.

The guys started dropping like flies as the night wore on. Everyone but myself was crashed. I decided to continue watching the nineteenth airing of the Shootout from that day and nod off to sleep. I could tell this was gonna be a little tough. The condo temperature was hovering somewhere around 22 degrees and I had no blanket. The symphonic sounds of these passed out drunks farting and snoring in their sleep was non stop. There wasn't a fly within 50 yards of this house that was safe.

I had been sitting there half asleep for around an hour or so by now. Big Mike was crashed on the so called recliner that looked like something out of a doll house under him. I noticed him get up and walk off. A couple minutes later he came back looking for something. Then he left again, then he came back again, then he left again, then he came back again. Me being the concerned buddy I decided to ask him if he needed anything? Big Mike says "mumble bla bla bla mumble drunk talk bla bla bla". Ok, don't guess I can help him. He leaves again and comes back with a blanket. Ahhh, he's cold! He proceeds to lay down on the floor in the fetal position.

This is where a camera would have come in handy. You see, Big Mike, as his name implies, is slightly on the "big" side. After he got this so called blanket on him my inner child came out. I think I actually had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. Imagine trying to cover yourself up with a wash cloth and stay warm, that's exactly what this looked like. I honestly think he might have had his hip and part of his leg covered if he was lucky. This blanket would have kept most people warm, unfortunately for Big Mike I don't think it did him any good. :(

I decided around 5 am I was sober enough to drive back to my condo and woke my buddy up. I made it a point to let him get a good look at Big Mike before we left. I'm glad I showed him, it was pretty much the topic of conversation all the way home tonight.

Thanks for the laughs Big Mike.... ;)

Buck

To funny...I could tell a few stories myself...One involves the lesbians we gave a ride to, which turned out to be quite the entertainment on Saturday. The other which most of you know by now involves to waking up in the morning to a sunkin 42 fountain and a 10g bill to follow!:eek: Thanks for all your guys help who I called and bugged this morning. We made it back to Columbus, Ohio with the boat and will be tearing it down tomorrow to find out what went wrong. I will download the pics tomorrow of the sunkin mess and the raising of the dead...It was nice to party with some of you all again and meet some of you for the first time.

Hillbilly love!!!!!
 

I think the blanket was my defense against any Hillbilly love flying around the room from you two clowns!!!!! I think I'm going in for my liver transplant later on today, anyone got an extra?

Great weekend, great fun!!!!!

Mike

The only funny things i can come up with is BUCK183 HIS GIRLFRIEND and of course the one and only and original, FIREBALL PERIOD.......:party-smiley-020: :party-smiley-048: :circle: :cool-smiley-011:

We had a blast boys:D Great to see everyone again.

Hey Buck, watch out for that friendly security gaurd:angry-smiley-044: :party-smiley-048:

I have some pretty darn entertaining pics of big mike too..hahaha.. he was crackin me the hell up at topsiders..

Ask FIREBALL about his truck:( :o
I thought that I got away from LOTO unscathed--unlike the other CATS... until I hit a stop sign with the starboard side of the boat and RAN OVER FIREBALLS TRUCK with the portside!!:angry-smiley-055: :angry-smiley-055: :angry-smiley-055:

That security guard was on a MAJOR underpaid power trip.

I still don't know why he singled me out of the whole crowd. I guess it's just my good looks.

Buck

You probably needed every bit of help you could with those 2 around.:party-smiley-048: :circle:

Oh well, you didn't want to break your streak did you?

those wouldn't be the body shot pics would they? :party-smiley-020:

You mean the a$$ shot pics?:party-smiley-048: That's the first time I've seen a shot taken out of an a$$ crack!!! It was freaking GREAT!

yeah those too!

We've been laughing about the a$$ shot all day long at the shop. The guys don't believe me. They don't think it's possible.

Big Mike is the man....

Buck

YOU are a TEAM player !!!:D

Ps. I asked Jim to get you a bid, but it does not look very bad at all.

the look on her face was priceless ! :circle:

when i get home, ill dig those pics up.. theres about 4 of them, in sequence.. his face, then her face, its so damn funny.. looks like hes drinkin DIRECTLY from the butthole.. hahaha.. she made the trip quite a bit of fun. Have a pic of her topless in the Callan boat also.. they invited her into the cockpit and i convinced her to show off.. she loves her new bolt-ons..

this will take a bit, but seeing the progression of the event is worth the wait..im have to resize each pic before i post it..

......what a fun ass time...

..the looks on everyones faces is what made it so much better..

Ass Shot
 

Dammit, I knew I had more than plain old cotton mouth the next morning!!!!
:D

actually its called Cotton "panty" mouth..

I would give you mine but I think that you have to be DEAD to Donate the liver.....and mine can't be in any better shape than yours....... maybe the cat you just swallowed will be enough to keep you goin'''''''''''''''' Your new Nic Name is "BUCKFORTYEIGHT"
:wuerg019: :boat:

Biggest Daddy! Congrats on succesfully completing a variation of the Heimlich maneuver, aka hiney lickin' maneuver. You saved her life as evidenced by her continuing to judge the:E Dock shaved chest conest. STRONG WORK11111

BIG MIKE YOU ARE NOW LABELED THE BIGGEST DADDY OF THE WEEKEND.:Score-101010: CONGRATS AND MAKE SURE AND STRETCH BECAUSE WE HAVE ONE MORE WEEKEND TO GO AND THEN YOU CAN HANG THE TITLE FOR THE NEXT CONTESTANT.:cool-smiley-011: :party-smiley-020: :circle: :party-smiley-048:

To bad you men didn't think to put an E-DOCK sticker on this a**.------- So much better than the last one you stuck it on.

Had a great time! Next year someone stop me after the second bottle of Jaeger :throw:

I have one with her holding an edock sticker that buck gave me.. shes fun... :cool-smiley-011:

Casey called me today asking about you. He wanted me to find out how the Sleeping Beauty Racing Team was doing after the long weekend. :food-smiley-009:


Buck

Come on Wardey! That's not what you told me when you we tore up Friday night. :party-smiley-004:

Buck

Bucks milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..

Did I mention Jim Lee is my hero? :party-smiley-048:

Buck

HA! ohhhhh thats a good one.. Im gonna need a handful of Sleeping Beauty Racing Team stickers printed up..

This was Sunday morning after we decided we were staying in the Condo for some beauty sleep. We were playing charades. I couldn't figure out if he was making fun of Masher or Big Mike in this one. :D

Buck

Some of the more recent Party Cove outfits he has worn.

Two years ago vs this year.

Buck

Got some bad food from the truck stop that E-Dock made us eat at. :signs069:

Buck

that last picture is SOO nasty!

Getting the new cats ready for a day in the cove.

Heading out to spread the love.

Buck

Good to see everyone again. Key West is on the horizon. I will be seeing a few of you next week when I come to see Miami kick OU's azz.

Tell Delo I got the big vinyl U ready to go on his boat afterwards. :party-smiley-048:

The official E-dock starter kit...