Ok, i had a very heavily oxidized boat, its fiberglass, i used the 3M heavy duty rubbing compound and put 2 coats on the boat and it worked wonders, now im wondering what chemical i should use next that will not be a waste of my time and $$,

Now buff using 3m finesse-it finishing material. As a last step I hand wax with a good carnauba wax. I use Meguiar's #56 mirror glaze

should i use the 3M color restorer or is it a waste of time??

ok-

i finessed it, came out great, now i guess i need a wax, whats the best wax to use with this combination?

What works well for me has been the route your taking with the 3m with lots of spare terry cloths. Then I move on to the Meguiars Polish(#45) and I finish up with Meguiars Flagship Marine Wax.

what is the best way to apply the finess it II, wool pad or foam pad, if foam, which type, light, med or heavy?

Med. foam pad, if you are doing a large are wash and dry the pad or buy an extra one so it doesn't load up.

Finish with the black foam pad if dark color, esp black!

Is it true that you should use wax on paint, and use polish on gel?

Wax both but wait to wax fresh paint for at least 30 days!