A PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN

8:15
Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30
Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday
8:45
Breakfast in bed, squeezed orange juice and croissants
9:15
Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00
Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30
Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00
Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45
Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
1:00
Shopping with friends.
3:00
Nap.
4:00
A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15
Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
5:30
Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30
Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00
Hot shower. Alone.
10:30
Make love.
11:00
Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15
Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN


6:00
Alarm.
6:15
Blowjob.
6:30
Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00
Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.
7:30
Limo arrives.
7:45
Bloody Mary en route to airport
8:15
Private jet to Florida.
9:30
Limo to the Cigarette Racing factory.
9:45
Pickup the new 42' twin-step Tiger with triple 1100SC's you just won for free.
11:30
Blowjob
11:45
Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15
Blowjob.
12:30
Take you new Cig Tiger out for its mainden voyage in 5-6' seas.
2:15
Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:20
Blowjob
2:30
Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas.
Nap.
3:15
Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:15
Blowjob
4:30
Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.
5:00
Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00
Watch Sportscenter.
7:30
Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.
9:00
Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00
Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00
Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45
Go to bed.
11:46
One last blowjob
11:59
Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave, 15 decibel fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
12:00
Laugh yourself to sleep.

HEY LISTEN,,,, THAT IS THE BEST ONE, I HAVE EVER FRICKEN READ!!!!!!!!!

Can you say "Praise the Lord"!!!