You Know Your Boats Too Fast/or has too much horsepower When..
12-15-2003 | 10:36 AM
#1
Thread Starter
Were doomed!
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,092
Likes: 1,386
From: Chicago, IL
You Know Your Boats Too Fast/or has too much horsepower When..
I found this on a truck forum i'm on and modified it a bit 
You Know Your Boats Too Fast/Or has too much horsepower When..
1. The noise test nazi guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the launch ramp.
2. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your boat.
3. You are afraid to drive your boat.
4. You spend more on engine accesories than on food.
5. You spend more on boat insurance than on house payments.
6. You look in a water patrol boat and see a picture of your boat taped to the dash.
7. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
8. You have to go to the local race track to buy gas.
19. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
10. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile".
11. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
12. You're tempted to wear your life jacket just to drive to the office.
13. You arrive somewhere before you left.
14. You get pulled over for doing 115 in a no wake zone but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hatch."
15. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
16. You are not allowed to run in the APBA/SBI.
17. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in a modified Cannonball Run.
18. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the boat.
19. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the boat.
20. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your marina at 4 am.
21. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the bilge blower is turned on. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
22. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your boat.
23. Race Fuel is delivered to your dock in 55 gallon drums
24. You carry earplugs in your boat.(doesn't everybody???)
25. The only spot on the boat which receives any regular cleaning is the F-16 canopy's. (what else is there to clean???)
26. You find out that vinyl graphics don't hold up at speeds exceeding 150+ mph.
27. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
28. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" exhaust pipes.
29. All the major outdrive makers are sending you free drives in hopes of endorsement deal.
30. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
31. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
32. All the wildlife within a 1/4 mile radius around your dock got the HELL OUT.
33. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your what marina your docked at
34. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
35. The earth slows in rotation when your props hook up and you head east.
36. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
37. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
You Know Your Boats Too Fast/Or has too much horsepower When..
1. The noise test nazi guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the launch ramp.
2. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your boat.
3. You are afraid to drive your boat.
4. You spend more on engine accesories than on food.
5. You spend more on boat insurance than on house payments.
6. You look in a water patrol boat and see a picture of your boat taped to the dash.
7. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
8. You have to go to the local race track to buy gas.
19. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
10. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile".
11. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
12. You're tempted to wear your life jacket just to drive to the office.
13. You arrive somewhere before you left.
14. You get pulled over for doing 115 in a no wake zone but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hatch."
15. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
16. You are not allowed to run in the APBA/SBI.
17. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in a modified Cannonball Run.
18. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the boat.
19. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the boat.
20. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your marina at 4 am.
21. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the bilge blower is turned on. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
22. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your boat.
23. Race Fuel is delivered to your dock in 55 gallon drums
24. You carry earplugs in your boat.(doesn't everybody???)
25. The only spot on the boat which receives any regular cleaning is the F-16 canopy's. (what else is there to clean???)
26. You find out that vinyl graphics don't hold up at speeds exceeding 150+ mph.
27. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
28. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" exhaust pipes.
29. All the major outdrive makers are sending you free drives in hopes of endorsement deal.
30. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
31. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
32. All the wildlife within a 1/4 mile radius around your dock got the HELL OUT.
33. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your what marina your docked at
34. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
35. The earth slows in rotation when your props hook up and you head east.
36. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
37. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
__________________
-Wally
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy horsepower. And I've never seen a sad person hauling a$$!
-Wally
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy horsepower. And I've never seen a sad person hauling a$$!
12-15-2003 | 11:23 PM
#4
Rob
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 21,637
Likes: 9
From: Ms
__________________
.
The Only Time You Have To Much Ammo Is When Your Swimming Or On Fire.
.
The Only Time You Have To Much Ammo Is When Your Swimming Or On Fire.
12-16-2003 | 08:13 AM
#5
Thread Starter
Were doomed!
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,092
Likes: 1,386
From: Chicago, IL
hehe.....dont know how i missed your post Strip 
we both must have got the same original list
we both must have got the same original list
__________________
-Wally
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy horsepower. And I've never seen a sad person hauling a$$!
-Wally
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy horsepower. And I've never seen a sad person hauling a$$!
12-16-2003 | 08:23 AM
#6
Registered
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 402
Likes: 0
From: NYC
Re: You Know Your Boats Too Fast/or has too much horsepower When..
Originally posted by Wally
I found this on a truck forum i'm on and modified it a bit
You Know Your Boats Too Fast/Or has too much horsepower When..
I found this on a truck forum i'm on and modified it a bit
You Know Your Boats Too Fast/Or has too much horsepower When..
12-16-2003 | 02:01 PM
#8
Registered
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,728
Likes: 8
From: Troy, Mich
Oh Yeah!
Wally add "& alcohol" to #4
Great List
Others to add:
You list your Insurance agent as a dependent
The FAA calls you looking for your Boat #'s to reply to the neighbors noise complaint abouth the low flying aircraft
Your boat is on the cover of Hot Boat more than twice per year
Wannabe
