Dear Consumas:

It has come ta our attention dat a cupola
copies of the Windows XP New Joisey Edition may have been shipped outsida
Joisey. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help unnerstanin da
commans.

Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads:
"Windas XP", wit a background pitcha a Hoboken. When yous start da program,
instead a da usual harpy stringy like music, you hear a little Springsteen.
It's also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava. Please also note:

1. Recycle bin is labeled "Newark"
2. My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa"
3. The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk"
4. Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked", "Erased" or "Rubbed
Out"
5. Control Panel is known as "The Bosses"
6. Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "Enhancin' da Family
business" and will actually maximize da
program instead a shuttin' it down.
7. Hard Drive is referred to as "Da Toinpike on Da Way to Da Shore"
8. Instead of an error message, "You Ain't Gonna Friggin' Believe
Dis'" pops up.


Changes in Terminology in Da Joisey Edition:
OK . . . . Sure ting
Cancel . . . . Fugetaboudit
Reset . . . . Stat ova
Yes . . . . . Yeah
No . . . . Nah
Find . . . . Put a Contract Out On
Browse . . . . Get a Looksee
Back . .. . . U-Toin
Help . . . . Getcha Own Friggin' Ansa
Stop . . . . Knock it Off
Start . . . . Move it
Settings . . . . Here's da Rules

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got a copy of da Joisey Edition (not).

You may retoin it ta Microsoft for a replacement voision.

You gotta problem wit dat?

Good one Tim!

I think you need a little professional help. Too many head slams in the Bullet Boat. (nice job) Smitty

I can't take responsibility for the writing, but I did come across it, and felt this was the appropriate place for it....