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  1. #21
    Sec Agent Man
    To all, the previous reply was not intended in any way to offend anyone. Just want to make that clear up front. The truth does hurt sometimes.

    SAM/Double D

  2. #22
    Charter Member#157 Charter Member MnFastBoat's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1999 Advantage 28' Cat
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Minneapolis, Mn, Usa


    I pulled a stupid at the launch on Sunday
    I will fully admit when I was wrong and apoigize to all it effected
    put hte boat in the water, only backed it enough to foat the transom and not to much to leave the bow on the bunks.
    unclipped the front bow eye strap and climbed aboard.
    Now I usually give the engines a 'tap' o nthe key while prepping the boat prior to launch. Did not have the time due to a short line.
    Hopped in and nothing, nodda, zilch
    I go like WTF???
    Everything had power.
    Lets just shorten this un and admit that after about 5 minutes and just before I was going to hop out and pull it back to the prep area, low and behold I noticed the nice little RED kill switch lanyard laying under the front seat.
    Somehow when I was taking off the cockpit cover I must have pulled it out
    friggin piss me off to no end.
    Then after starting up and the people at the tie up wall pissing n moaning about hte noise would not move their fishing lines I can them over. (the lines that is )
    Then I proceeded to leave the boat idle while parking the truck n trailer
    Did I mention the power take off 100 feet from shore with the exhaust open right in front of them.
    I am so glad I still have 10 inflated tires upon my return that night
    This Cat is trying to keep up with the Big Dogs

  3. #23
    Enjoy the show VIP Member Ron P's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    The Joisey Shore
    When you see these people, just hand them thier sign and walk away. The sign must have enough chain so they can wear it around their necks. Sign says,

    "I am a stupid moron, please excuse me while I screw this up".

  4. #24
    Registered candyman35's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1997 35' Fountain
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Tinley Park, IL
    You guys need to come over to the Alsip boat launch on the third of July for a good laugh. They launch anything that floats that night to see the Fireworks in Chicago. Most of the regulars know it as amateurís night out. We go down to the ramp just to watch the festivities. One guy, with a roller trailer, had a roller come off. He kept winching the boat on to the trailer while watching the gel coat flake off into the water. He put a three-foot gouge down his boat. Another guy with a 38 foot Scarab hits and nearly sinks another boat. He doesnít want to miss the Fireworks so he throws the guy a business card and tells him he will take care of the damage and takes off. The police were waiting for him when he returned to the ramp! He got to spend the night in jail.

    Husbands and wives seem to communicate so well on these holiday events. Husband screams and swears at his wife to give it enough gas to get it on the trailer. Wife slams the throttle forward and ends up in the back of their pick-up. She says, is that enough F###in gas! :eke: Another Husband is yelling at his wife to pull the rope harder to get the boat off of the trailer. He nearly puts the whole rig in the water because the boat seems to be stuck to the trailer. They both sit there swearing at each other on whose fault it is. I told them it was easier to get the boat off of the trailer with out the straps on.

    My other favorite thing is when someone ties off their boat with one rope and leaves it to float in the middle of the ramp while putting away their trailer.

    So many stories, so many idiots, so little time!


  5. #25
    I think I may stay off the water next Father's Day. Never seen so many idiots on one small body of water in my life.

    So we are sitting on the beach at the Narrows (Seashore State Park) minding our own business. I am between BillR and Vyper340. I watch as this guy in a Wellcraft Cruiser tries to pull up a little further down, but decides against it for lack of room. He backs out and turns towards us. Instead of completing his turn he starts coming directly at me. I am friggin in disbelief as I watch this idiot continue towards us rather than simply turning his wheel to bring his nose around. Well, I am standing on the swim platform watching his bow pulpit coming right at me. He finally turns his wheel enough to bring the bow around so I can grab his bow rail and push his bow out while his stern slams both Bill's swim platform and then mine. Fortunately the SS rub rail does its job and little to no damage to either of our boats.

    I ask what the heck he is doing as he slams my boat. He says "it stuck in gear" and drives off without another word!
    Last edited by wms; 06-19-2002 at 08:25 AM.

  6. #26
    Registered jdnca1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    I was floating near a launch to pick up my dad who had parked my trailor after launch. Pretty soon a group of 3 redneck fishermen get set to launch their 16ft boat with an old 50 johnson outboard. I was thinking from the start that this could be a good one...anyway, the trailor back-up and beginning to the launch go uneventful. The boat owners buddy was going to drive the boat until he and his wife get back from parking the trailor. After a looooong smokey warmup the guy starts backing the boat off the trailor. When he gets back about 5ft from the shore he throws it in forward and starts to turn. You could see this guys eyes begin to get very big as he begins to realize that the boat is not going to make the turn before he can avoid the shallow rocky water near the shore. Naturally... he guns the boat thinking this will solve his problem. As this boat is in a full left turn with max power....motor really digging in....the prop contacts many of the rocks in the shallow water. I mean this motor was hitting so hard the prop was coming all the way out of the water on the recoil...then back in etc. This happened about 5 times. Finanlly this idiot gets the motor turned this point he wasn't going anywhere because his aluminum prop was toast. His buddy..the owner could only yell "MY PROP". There was a pretty strong breeze so the "dead" boat starts drifting out into the lake. The guy dives out of the boat and swims it in. HILARIOUS.

  7. #27


    My favorite was the Springfield MA fireworks Bondys Island launch scene.
    All the people with "once a year" launches. Dirty gas, skipping outboards, crying children.
    And the best part....the ramp scene.

    It is usually the father with the new boat who has not a clue what he is doing. Ends up yelling at the kids and the miss's for his stupid mistakes, etc... BUT the best part is after the fireworks are over!!
    Fistfights over who is going to pull the boat out first. Races to get to the launch quicker. All the horns honking and the sound of trailers hitting car sheet metal.
    I wish I had nightvision camera. There should be an mpeg spot here on the board for uploading the best stupid boat captures.

    There is one story I have to mention though...... not all new boaters are stupid. I remember the Enfield launch and this one guy. He certainly had the backing up part down.... After he had spent 45 minutes tying up one side of the ramp, trying to drive his bowrider on the trailer, he gave up and pulled to the side. After everyone else had gotten out, he watched me pull my boat alone with a 15 foot line off the front.
    He sat there and looked at me dumbfounded, like I was a wizard.
    I looked at the guy and said, "nice looking need a hand?" He almost cried with joy. I spent about 40 minutes with him, his wife and his teenager. (the ramp was deserted by then anyway) They all got a chance to load the boat alone by hand and unload it. Once I showed them how to use a roller trailer properly, it was like a big game. I made friends for life.
    I have seen him since several times over the years. Nice guy. Nice Family. Tows in anyone anytime if they are dead in the water..heh

    I read a lot of folks laughing at the idiots. I have asked if people needed help and been snubbed a few times......thats when I watch and laugh. There sure are a lot of people that won't accept help.
    But what about the guy who is new, frustrated, does not have a clue...but is a nice guy? I think you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Introducing someone to boating as a hobby where people help each other out freely is certainly more likely to make a good boater in the end.....

  8. #28
    Registered Jayl13's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1991 41 Apache WarPath!!!
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Boynton Beach FLORIDA!!!!
    I think I am going to compile a video for down load of Stupid Ramp tricks, Each time I go out this year with friends or alone, IM taking my video camera
    Just hang at the docks for a little while , take some footage, then go do my thing, when I come back , turn it on again and take some more footage, if I get something (and You all know I will) then I do, if not, rewind and be ready at a later time.
    Then Ill make a big MPG file for download
    We can ALL have a laugh
    I love the guys that forget to put their drives up,
    someone driving truck, boat owner in boat, starts going up the ramp, and you hear the "KUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    OH GOD DAMN $HIT STOP STOP STOP STOP damn son of a ***** F**KING $HIT Oh my god this must be broken, I put the drive up!!!"
    Yeah sure you did buddy, your boat is 6 weeks old and you have trim pump failure Uh huh, Sure palley boy!
    and Im the queen of england and the pope is jewish!
    Nice gouge your skeg left in the concrete ramp though, Very artistic!!! You come here often.
    lets not limit this to boats here
    Another I like to see is when people walk into the water and of course all ramps happen to be the slimest things in the world right
    then someone walks into the water to give their boat a shove to get it off the trailer (durrr that is what the engine is for) and then tanks themselves BLURP gone, Splash the come to the surface and there is like 40 people like cracking up, then you try to be like Tommy boy in that movie, Yeah (sucking in the gut and standing tall and talking like a pro wrestler) yeah I meant to do that, just looking at the Incubation degradation period on the direct retractible swivel shaft and clevis pin mounted on the flux capacitor with the removeable wings for accurate hydrodynamics !!
    YEah captain dingleberry YOUR ASS JUST FELL AND WE ALL JUST SAW IT!

    Last but not least is what I like to call da da da doucccchhhhhhhheee syndrome
    When a multiple screw up incident occurs.
    Example, when some guys and rednecks whoever, forget to put drain plug in, cant get boat off of trailer, then they finally do and it starts to sink, then out of panic (like 6 feet of water is something that your going to die in right?) they nail the throttles to get it back on the trailer, but unknown to Zeek in the truck, he is driving trailer out of the water to go park the 18 foot trailer in MY GOD DAMN SPOT designated for 30+ foot boats, then Kahrul drivin the boat misses trailer cause it is now half way up the ramp and CRASH right into the loving texture concrete provided to us from the local govt!
    Fun Fun Fun
    Hey russ
    wanna just go watch the ramp this weekend?

  9. #29
    Registered Chris288's Avatar
    My Boats:
    2005 288 SUNSATION
    Join Date
    Mar 2002

    this happened last saturday...

    Sat and waited 15 minutes for for this guy who drove his ford contour down to the waters edge and proceded to un load his tackle box, fishing pole, batteries, trolling motor, oars, seat cushions and anchor from his 12 foot row boat,,, then it took him another 15 to tie the boat onto the roof rack.

  10. #30
    Originally posted by Laveyman
    It always amazes me to see the guy who is trying to put his boat on the trailer while his wife is driving the truck. He's had too much to drink, and is a jacka$$ to begin with, and because HE cannot get the boat set on the trailer correctly, he blames his wife. The he feels compelled to yell, scream, curse at, belittle, and flat out degrade his wife for HIS IGNORANCE . Makes ya want to walk over and make the jerk fish food.
    Hey Jim! are you refering to me with that post?
    LOL, Seriously though I,ve seen all the same stuff, my wife has really improved at her trailer backing skills and it often amazes guys on the ramp. WHen I was a kid my dad and I used to go to South Cove on Mead alot, and we used to see this Ranger there who would offload his boat alone so smooth, he'd have a 50' rope coiled on the trailer and just back in with enough speed to have momentum carry the boat back about 20' and then park his truck and walk down as the last bit of the 50' of rope was playing out. He'd pull the boat in and drive off never more then 2 min. alone. Conversely we had to pickup a bass boat that fell off the trailer at Canyon last Fri. and carry it to the water.

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