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  1. #1
    Registered Risk Taker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    New Hampshuu !!

    Talking OT: TGIF Funnies - Redneck 2002


    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

    2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

    3. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

    4. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

    5. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

    6. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.

    7. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

    8. Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

    9. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

    10. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

    11. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

    12. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    13. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

    14. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

    15. You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

    16. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

    17. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

    18. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

    19. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

    20. You have used a rag for a gas cap.

    21. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

    22. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

    23. You can spit without opening your mouth.

    24. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

    25. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    26. You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

    27. You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

    28. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

    29. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

    30. You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.

    31. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

    32. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

    33. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

    34. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.

    35. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

    36. You've asked the preacher, "How's it hangin'?"

    37. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

    38. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

  2. #2
    The Senior Charter Member #1070 Charter Member Tbonepmp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    STL / LOTO

    Thumbs up

    (What you see, is what you get!)
    "Live every day to it's fullest for you give a day of your life to it."

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Platinum Member CigDaze's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Cigarette 35 Cafe Racer
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    St. Petersburg, FL

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Platinum Member Steve 1's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Slippery when wet!
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Beautiful Fort Lauderdale
    Slippery when wet. "POD" Free Tunnel through Common Sense Engineering

  5. #5
    Registered HyperBaja's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1990 Baja 190 DSR
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Lewis Center, Ohio
    Thats not funny, people have been telling me I'm a redneck, the only one that didnt apply to me was the "Boat in the driveway for 15 years" they normally take pictures and send them to you and threaten to tow it after 15 min!!!!!

    Now its official, I am a redneck. {Are you guys saying that you dont use the deck as a platform to piss off of??}

  6. #6
    Registered Budman's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Hot rods, Hot boats, Beer & more Beer
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Kentucky - where the women are so fast we have to put a governor on 'em!!
    If you have ever had to scale the water tower with a can of paint to defend your sister's honor, you might be a redneck.

    If your grandmother has ever walked out of the bathroom and said, "Hey Y'all, come in here and check this one out before I flush it!", you might be a redneck.

    And the best one,

    If you worked on your car (or boat!) on your wedding day, you might be a redneck!

    Guilty as charged...

  7. #7
    Registered Madcow's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Cigarette Top Gun, Scarab Center Console
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Toledo Oh
    If the best 3 years of your life was 12th grade, you might be a redneck.

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