10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Ten ways to tell if you are a performance boat nut

Every vehicle at your home has a trailer hitch including your kids tricycle

The blades on your ceiling fan have been repitched cupped and balanced

All your clothing comes from the Mercury racing catalog.

You are surprised to find out that Arizona also has a desert.

You have a black velvet painting of Elvis , John Wayne , Reggie Fountain , and Jesus playing cards.

Your wife want a nose job so you have her call IMCO

Every vacation you take is tangent to a poker run

Your boat payment is greater than your mortgage

Even your kids stroller has buddy bearings

When you take a good look around your house you can find about 34 life jackets



You fix everything with tie wraps

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

please think of more....and post

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

All your stuff is stored in your boat but taken out when on water. :D

Your stereo says "sony marine" on it. :drink:

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You make fun of Reggie every chance you get. :evilb:
LOL

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

U don't just have a plastic prop in the hitch reciever, U have a six blade Hering spin'n in it!!!! :D

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

every room in your house has pics of your boat.

you have thousands of boat magazines.

your wife thinks u care more about your boat than her.

your always looking to better the boat not the house or your cars.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

When you take your car to the mall to go shopping, you pop the hood and leave it up for everyone to look at your engine! :drink:

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Every conversation has a tie to boating.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

your needing glasses from looking at oso so much

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Every car you own has a mercury sticker on it. :D

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Old props are considered table centerpieces and candle holders.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You have more pictures of your boats, than your family.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Intakes, carbs, and flame arrestors are allowed on the kitchen counter indefinitely.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

you know more about your boat than you know about your job

your gas bill is more than your mortgage

your wifes cans cost more than your outdrives

your aluminum trailer is rusting

you're a boardmember of SEATOW

your neighbors always complain when your flushing your 11.1 comp. dry piped motors at 11pm

you own successful Burger Kings yet still fell compelled to get into the boating business (and do a good job of it)

the rear tires on all your vehicles a bald

your gold chain could also lift your motors out

75% of your work day is spent on this stupid website (the other 25% on porn)

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

you win Cuda....you win.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

this is the winner.....BZ

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

I vote this one!! :D :D

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

asking your employer to match $1 for $1 towards your boat pyt instead the 401k which I won't live long enough to enjoy anyway :crazy:

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

U go 2 this boating website called Offshore Only more times a day than U think of Sex!!!!! :eek: :evilb:

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Your spouse says "it's me or that boat." You say "I'll miss you honey!"

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

this sure is a funny tread!

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Every girl you meet has to pass the "would she look good on the sunpad in a thong" test. :evilb:

You mention boating in the first sentence you say to her and she keeps the conversation going. :eek:

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Your "Cigarette" stickers are color coordinated to your car color. :D

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You attach lanyards to your car keys and when it rains you put exhaust tip covers on while parked

You think the show Viva la Bam has something to do with transmissions

You replace the door to the main bedroom of your house with a privacy curtain and install a portapotti under your bed!

:D

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

When you hear the word "blower" you immediately think of more power, but your buddies start reminiscing about that one girl from college.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You try to make a small fortune with boating by starting with a large fortune although you are not mentally sick and know what you are doing.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

U spend more time w/ the boat than your wife so she says

U thought that boat was expensive, wait til my attorney getz thru w/ U! :eek:

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You buy a boat in the winter! :D

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

[QUOTE=Dangerous Dave]

you own successful Burger Kings yet still fell compelled to get into the boating business (and do a good job of it)


OOOOOH MY GOD!!



FRED,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHERE ARE YA!!!! :D :evilb: :D

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Instead of "one time at band camp", you start every conversation regarding sex with, "one time on oso unsensored".

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Your computers screen savers & wall paper are boats.. If your wife or girlfriend are on the computer's screensaver or wall paper then they are in the boat thats being used!

You park the cars outside & put the boat in the garage with 2 covers on it!

You go clothes shopping with your wife/Gf by choice, but only so she can get a bikini that matches the boat!

You speng 5 bucks on your bath towels at walmart, but you spend a 100 bucks on a fat towel for your boat !

You stop playing Poker with your local buddies so you can travel to poker runs!

You tell your wife you will wash the dishes, if she puts on a bikini & washes the boat!

Jamie

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You buy mini boats for your unborn children :drink:
Both of them :p

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You have no room in the garage for lawn mowers or garden equip, but plenty of room for spare drives, props, lifelines and boat stuff. (not to mention that the garage walls are covered with posters and banners from every race and event you have participated in!)

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

When you wife or girlfriend is talking about your mistress she is talking about your boat.

Your wife or girlfriend refers to your boat as the other woman.

You’ll spend all day cleaning the boat but say you’re to tired to help with the groceries.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Your cell phone has a pic of your top speed on GPS.

Your wife tells you it’s time again for a family portrait you say can we bring the boat.

All your photos have a boat somewhere in the picture.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You can tell whats going on inside your drive by the way the used gear oil tastes.
You don't consider "Boat *****" to be a derogatory term.
It takes unti January for all the hull wax to come out of your pours.
You sit on your snowmobile in the middle of nowhere in February and talk to your buddies about boating. ( happens all the time really)
You carry spare Bravo Drives with you on vacation ( happens all the time really )
Your marine mechanic is #1 on your speed dial list
Your lender is #2
Your Insurance agent is #3.

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

Your fiberglass guy is #4

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

When you switch between PowerPoint presentations and applications in front of clients, there is an awesome boating picture on your desktop; which takes you off-topic for 15 minutes.


Your CxO encourages you to buy a bigger boat and then follows with "an in-debt employee is a motivated employee."

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

FUNNY CHIT AIRPACKER, MY BUDDIES FOUGHT OVER WHO GOT THE TITLE OF BOAT ***** FOR THE WEEKEND, OUR FIRST SNOWMOBILE TRIP DEC 13 WILL BE TO ALSO PLAN AND DO HEADCOUNT FOR MIAMI BOAT SHOW/POKER RUN, I HAD THE SPARE DRIVE FOR LOTO SHOOTOUT IN BACK OF MY 3/4 TON SUBURBAN FOR 2 WEEKS AFTER THE EVENT(WIFE PISSED ABOUT GROCERY GETTER), AND WE TAKE OUR MECHANIC WITH US NOW AND EVEN MAKE HIM WRENCH FOR HIS SHARE OF EXPENSES. HE GOES AROUND THE DOCKS HELPING OTHERS OUT AS WELL, HE IS NOW CALLED THE ENGINE *****. GREAT

Re: 10 way to tell if you are a performence boat nut!!! [ David Letterman style]
 

You can fly anywere you want for free with the miles you earned on your gas card