Like Tree0Likes

"THE RULES"

Reply
Old 01-24-2002, 08:59 PM
  #1
Registered
Thread Starter
 
IDRPSTF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In your driveway while you sleep
My Boats: Whatever you missed your payment on
Posts: 1,759
Post "THE RULES"

Amen, The Man Code So it has been written, so it shall be...The CODE (rules for men to live by)

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat".

2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker,you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call bull****. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

9. *****ing about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional.)

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your moral duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission; and he, in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

15. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

16. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pals- low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

20. If a buddy is out-numbered, out-manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

21. Friends don't let friends wear Speedo's. Ever. Issue closed.

22. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
a. "Yeah, baby, push it!"
b. "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
c. "Another set and we can hit the showers."
d. "Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
23. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
24. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
25. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.
26. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
27. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him ... too gay.
28. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "EFF OFF!" - you are absolved of your responsibility
IDRPSTF is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 09:22 PM
  #2
Registered
Trade Score: (1)
 
Biggus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Naples, Maine
My Boats: 02 Cigarette Mystique T/S
Posts: 6,298
Thumbs up

Biggus is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 09:27 PM
  #3
Registered
 
Playn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: BRENTWOOD, TN
Posts: 4,367
Post

Playn is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 09:29 PM
  #4
Registered
 
traviss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: On the river
My Boats: 1989 18.5 ft XLT powerplay
Posts: 3,372
Post

traviss is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 09:30 PM
  #5
Charter Member #232
Charter Member
 
Audiofn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Carlisle, MA USA
My Boats: 1979 Formula 302, 99 Formula 353, 81 Donzi 18 2+3 with 454
Posts: 18,379
Post

Yup that one gets the big

Two snaps and a around the world
__________________
Put your best foot forward!
Audiofn is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 09:38 PM
  #6
Registered
 
Shane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Niskayuna, NY
My Boats: 2009 FORMULA 292
Posts: 5,543
Post

Shane is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 10:56 PM
  #7
Registered
Trade Score: (1)
 
HiPerf2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: N.E.
My Boats: Sonic
Posts: 4,072
Post

I've broken the number 7 rule a few times, as well as number 12.
HiPerf2000 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 11:08 PM
  #8
Registered
 
NW_Jim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: NW USA
My Boats: 1990 35' Fountain
Posts: 797
Post

12 got me before too...
NW_Jim is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 11:20 PM
  #9
Registered
 
Red Stripe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Twin Lake, Michigan
My Boats: 1998 PowerQuest 240 Antera SX
Posts: 878
Post

Red Stripe is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2002, 11:39 PM
  #10
Registered
 
Madcow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Toledo Oh
My Boats: Cigarette Top Gun, Scarab Center Console
Posts: 1,915
Post

You forgot the most important guy rule. A three way is a guy and 2 girls. 2 guys and a girl is not a three way, it's just gay. As a guy you should NOT be in the same building with a naked man, let alone the same room.
Madcow is offline  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
bobo1
OPA/The Jersey Boyz
0
04-23-2008 08:36 PM
electrical1
General Q & A
11
11-09-2006 09:51 AM
Trucks, Trailers and Transportation
14
10-13-2006 10:11 AM
mikesufka
General Boating Discussion
8
12-26-2002 12:23 PM



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:50 AM.


Copyright 2011 OffShoreOnly. All rights reserved.