Bob’s sitting in his lawn chair, drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A female neighbor from across the street is so outraged at this that she comes over and shouts, “You should be hung!”

Bob calmly replies, “Why do you think she’s cutting the grass?”

**************************************************

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor, crawled
painfully onto a stool and ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked, "Crushed nuts?"
"No" he replied, "its just arthritis."

**************************************************

An Amish woman is driving her horse and buggy down the road when she gets pulled over.
"You have a broken reflector on your buggy," the cop says, "but more important, one of your reins is looped around your horse’s balls. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!"
Later that day, the woman tells her husband, "A policeman pulled me over today for two reasons. First, he said the reflector was broken."
"Well, that’s easily fixed," says her husband. "What else?"
"I’m not sure…something about the emergency brake."

And the little boy that had his dog hooked-up tp his wagon and had one rope around the dogs balls. When a nieghbor pointed out to the little boy that one of his lines was fouled in the dog, the little boy replied "Yea, that's my siren."

Good ones guys!

Keep 'em coming...

When I'm going too fast in the boat for my wife's liking, she uses that style of emergency brake on me.

I have lived in this house for 5 years, and only cut the grass once. My girlfreind takes care of it. Go figgure!

Ain't nothing like a quickie in the afternoon!