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Old 03-18-2002, 03:24 PM
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Angry Help Ya"ll!!

OK, been seperated for over a year and divorced for one, have two boys, still love the Ex to death although she has a young kid in her pen!!, problem I have been drinking and drinking and drinking, I need to quit and am trying to but keep fooling myself, I actually have to STOP and wish I had friends here that do not or some support but I am not from here and it seems like you guys are my friends and family, any ideas or any of ya been through the same thing.

Thanks for any input, Marc
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Old 03-18-2002, 03:53 PM
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I wish I had some great solution to what you're going through. Went through a similar thing a long time ago. Thime heals most wounds. The best thing I did was put the past in the past and move on. I could do that a little easier than you, since we didn't have any kids and I didn't have to see her.
As far as going out and gettin hammered, it was an easy temporary solution, but didn't solve anything and had the potential to make life a lot worse. People do stupid chit when they get liquored up and usually regret things later. Alcohol is a depressant and will often make you feel worse.
Like I said, put the past in the past. The best way to get over an ex is to find new prospects. Good Luck.
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Old 03-18-2002, 03:54 PM
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Towelboy,

I think that you need to let you friends know that you HAVE TO stop drinking. Let them know that you have a problem and that you need some help from them. It may also help to not put yourself into those positions where it is easy for you to drink. There are a lot of other things you can do besides going out to bars and parties. If you really have tried these things and you can not control it, then you need to seek some professional help. Excessive uncontrolable drinking is a diesese and if you do not get it under control it can ruin your life, keep that in mind and that may help you get control back. Honestly, been there done that, that is how I know. I never got to the point of needing professional help, but believe you me I was close. GOOD LUCK
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Old 03-18-2002, 04:19 PM
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You've taken the first step, admitting you have a problem.
Now you need to seek professonal help and stay close to your friends. Ask them for help.
Find a hobby to keep you busy. Go and tear your boat apart and put it back together again. That'll keep you occupied and keep your mind off things.
Go join a health club. That way you can burn off your frustrations. Besides, after six months you'll look good and feel great.

Good luck and keep us posted.
We'll always be here to help.
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Old 03-18-2002, 04:23 PM
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My father just got out of treatment at a place called "The Ranch" in Palm Desert. It is an awesome place. Near Betty Ford, but MUCH less expensive. A great program!

We 'intervened' a couple of months ago and after 5 hours of information and many consequences laid out, he agreed. He has never been happier!!! Seems a filter was lifted from his character.

Contact me if you want more information. I'm sure my father would love to talk to you as well as I can tell you more about The Ranch. I would be very happy to help as I know what it has done for my family.

If you seriously have a problem, tell everyone (you just did that), enlist help! You can't do it yourself!

Please email me.

Chris Johnson
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Old 03-18-2002, 04:32 PM
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Hey Marc,

The guys have some good advice...wanting to help yourself and knowing you may have a problem is half the battle. You should definitely try to avoid social situations that require drinking. You may even have to look for a new set of friends. I was certainly on that road after a break up many many years ago and got myself into a bit of trouble in the meantime. What I found was that averything that was wrong in my life in that time was a direct result of drinking too much---crappy job, crappy car, crappy apartment, no meaningful relationship to speak of, bills out of control...it's a downward spiral. Sometimes it just takes time to sort itself out and and you come out of it. Sometimes you've got to take the bull by the horns and get yourself out of it. Set some goals for yourself and go after them. For me it was always about cars and boats and I knew that if I continued hanging out with the same losers, I would never have the things I really wanted in life...now, I still don't have that 38 Top Gun, but I'm on my way...I've got a great girlfriend, good paying job, a car that doesn't break down and a boat that is reliable and cool at the same time.

Hope this helps.

Sean
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Old 03-18-2002, 04:37 PM
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Start smoking pot.......
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Old 03-18-2002, 05:05 PM
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It was during their separation and right around the divorse that I saw my dad try to run my mom down. I know that she's a difficult woman and that he had a temper, but this open up a whole new view of him that I will never be able to forget. I have never seen him drink again and I think that he's a much better man because of it.

This is one of the reasons that I elect not to drink. Some of the people around me know the other one. It's tough being in social situations where people almost expect you to drink. I've gotten many a comment or glance when I order a root beer instead of the real stuff. But I think that ultimatly people respect my decision not to drink and I've never heard a second comment or somebody try to force the issue.
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Old 03-18-2002, 05:17 PM
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Marc,
Went through similar cicumstances several years ago.All the ideas already given are dead on(except for the pot,didn't try that).Even though I'm sure you're sick of hearing it,time is the BEST healer.Most of all don't forget the 2 boys you mentioned,they need you more at this time than you'll ever imagine.For myself ,it was my 2 daughters that caused me to realize that I had to move on.
And in the end,it was my oldest daughter who got me the phone# for the woman I'm now happily married to!!!!
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Old 03-18-2002, 05:46 PM
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I know a lot of people get hung up on the social pressure to drink when at parties or bars. If having something in your hand is part of the issue, drink Red Bull. It's a cool, trendy drink no excuses necessary. And you'll be legal for the drive home.
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