Stupid boat tricks
 

Well, since it's almost spring (temperature in Detroit this morning, a pleasant 23 degrees, on the way to a balmy high of 28 - ah, springtime in Michigan!), I thought we might want to relive those wonderful moments from seasons gone past...

So, what's the most boneheaded act of idiocy you've seen on the water or at the ramp? Any stupid boat trick will do, but you'll get more points for structural damage and/or Darwinian events. Post away, kids!

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Here's one I saw last year.

As you pass out of our marina, you pass the gas dock. Here's these fine young fellows out for a day on the water with their ladies; I think I saw these guys on "Cops - Trailer Park Special", and I don't mean the guys wearing the uniforms.

Anyhow, it's a busy day, there's got to be 3-4 boats manuvering around the gas dock or coming through the channel. Here comes bubba in a 25-27 express cruiser, maybe an older Searay or Bayliner. Faded gel, nasty canvas, you get the idea.

He comes running in somewhat faster than "no wake", cigarette dangling from his mouth (gas dock, remember), stereo so loud I can't hear my stereo. Bubba II is sitting in the back digging through the empty beer cans with Ms. Thang and her friend, Elvira.

2 feet from the dock, Captain Bubba jams it in reverse, almost hitting the 38 Scarab who has the misfortune of being docked across from the pumps. The whole boat slews around, and two other boats have to hit the juice to get out of the way. Meanwhile, the stereo is still blasting loud enough to shake the rust off the pilings...

About this time, our hero decides he better try again, and finally turns the radio down so that he can get Bubba II's attention. Now that his line monkey has staggered up to the bow (one rotted, knotted together line, btw), Johnny Throttle aims the boat in the general vicinity of the dock and hits the gas, pulling the reverse-at-the-last-second move again. This time the boat slews into the docks rather than away from them - BOOM! - and they successfully get tied up.

To celebrate, they both crack beers and all 4 of them light up a celebratory Marlboro in the cockpit while they wait for the "Aqua Double Wide" to get gassed up.

I decided to run over to the river to get my fuel. The gas dock was still there when I got back, so I have to assume they got their gas and headed out, despite Darwin's best intentions.

Remember, these people also drive and vote :eek: Scary stuff...

Back in the day when I was a dockboy, it was July 4th weekend and there was a cabin cruiser coming in for fuel. THe Mrs was driving. As they got closer she yelled to me that it was her first time not only docking but driving the boat. After she smashed the gas pump with her pulpit, (I tried to stop it but jumped out of the way to avoid being crushed at the last minute)I told her she should learn to dock the boat at someplace OTHER than a fuel dock and on a less crowded weekend!

Mothers day 2000
 

Every mothers day, I take Mom and Dad out on the boat.
Me, my fiance, Mom, Dad, my sister and her husband.

9:00am small lake in Ill

Dad backs the trailer in, I start the engines, back the boat off, the whole time trying not to hit the 30-40 fisherman coming in from their morning catch. I pull over to the dock, pick up the brother in-law, sister and mom, we are waiting for dad to come back from parking the truck when my smart brother in law says, hope ya put the plug in!! My heart stopped. Oh know, hit the bilge, its pumping like its never pumped before, I ordered everyone out of the boat to lighten the load, yelled at dad to get the truck and trailer, and I slammed the throttles downs to hit the water.

Oh yeh back to the fisherman. I was all the way back in the back of a cove, up against the dock, I had to go about 200 yrds to get out of the no wake. Past all the fisherman, other docks, past the gas pump, and the restraunt. I hammered it, the only twin engine boat on the lake, the only inboard within miles. I have never gotten flipped off so many times in my life.

I went out in the middle of the lake and drove around until the water ran out, and dad got the trailer backed in. Just about the time the ramp area settled down from my 1st drag race, I came back in. 30mp in a no wake, hit the trailer, and I was golden.

Put the plugs in and backed back in. I have never apologized to so many people in one setting.

I have not been back since.
I have also never left the plugs out since

Randy Wild

PS, later I will tell ya about the mothers day of 2001, the time I made my mom wet her pants. Never a dull moment with ma around

Good stuff! :D :D

Best one I've seen of late was yet another splendidly amuzing, yet deadly, game of "Let's temp Fate At The Fuel Pump."

My Boat's in the water, tied up at the docks at our marina and two slips downstream from us is this miserable looking patchjob of a boat(Like something you'd see built on Junk Yard Wars) is attempting to dock.

While my wife and I load the boat in preparation for our day, I take particular notice of the occupents of this mystery craft. It would almost take the resemblence of an older bayliner or other such 30 or so foot cabin cruiser. Needless to say it was in serious disrepair(or misrepair) by the self-proclaimed do-it-yourselfer marine expert.

The scene unfolds like this: The boat pulls up ever so slowly and cautiously to the dock, and there are four people visible in the cockpit area. These enchanted souls, did not have the look of total awareness about them, if you know what I mean, more like oblivion: Blank stares, and all mouths gaping wide open...Not like :eek: , just simple dumbfoundedness. A rather rugged bunch at first glance. Upon approaching the dock(still slowly) you can hear the obvious sounds from the drives being shifted(repeatedly). Hell, there's only two gears and neutral, so you have a 50/50 shot of picking the right one, how should he know? Well, he gambled wrong and it was still in forward. Rather than gently bringing the boat's forward motion to a stop, he added to it, quite violently I might add. BAMMM!--Hits the fuel dock squarely and rebounds a few feet--His Pulpit narrowly missing the fuel pump. So he tries again, much to the same result--BANG! Third time's a charm, right? Wrong! He sends one of the occupents up on the bow to help out. He manages the short walk around to the bow and gets into position to try to toss the rope around the dock cleat. When the boat slams the dock again, he is ejected up onto the dock. It must have been funny because they were all laughing. Well, One way or another he made it. Rope in hand, he secures the boat. Now the captain can swing it around. His docking consists of tying off the bow and swinging around the rear--HARD, but Mission accomplished...

It's not until now that you realize that there must be more down below...I see one arm out the side hatch flicking ashes onto the dock...As a heavy amount of smoke billows out of all the open hatches. Hmmmmm....Remember the blank stares...You got it!

Anyway, after all that fanfare the captain sends three of the guys up to buy beer and munchies at the dock store. He then starts to fuel up the boat. He gets the pump into the fuel port and procedes to take seat as he straddles the boat, one leg in the boat, one leg holding the stern of the boat on the dock(remember, only the bow is tied to the dock)

The three men on a mission are soon returning from their scavenger hunt, all loaded down--A case of beer or two or three a few other bags and all three smoking. One of them has the brilliant idea to save himself a few steps and leap from the upper dock straight onto the boat so he doesn't have to step down to the lower dock and then onto the boat. He was UNSUCCESSFUL!!! :D :D One misplaced step, and he goes for a nice little plummet straight in between the boat and the dock. At the same time he pushed the boat far enough away from the dock to unbalance our captain who was still fueling. He also goes in for a swim, fuel still going all over the place. Well, in true commrade fashion, the other two drop their things and begin laughing hysterically.

I wasn't far behind, let me tell you! One of the best laughs, I've had. Luckily, the cigarettes hadn't started a fire, and secondly most of the fuel was spilled on land, not in the water as the fuel hose recoiled into the housing. :D :D :D The boat is now fully out in the open channel swinging from the bow line. What a sight!

You see all kinds!

Dam dude, my wheel on my mouse broke reading that!!!!:D

Should have gone to the west coast yesterday, went out in east lake, when returning to my truck I noticed it was broken into, lost a 1.50 in change and my wallet , that sucks big time:mad:

Two weeks ago, we were coming in and tied to the dock. The boat launch is very wide, and many people just launch between the docks. One guy, a girl, and a kid were trying to launch between the docks. It was about a 16 foot open fish, looked to be brand new. Obviously, they were brand new at it too. They get the boat off the trailer with the man and the kid in the boat, the lady standing on the ramp watching. He can't get the motor started, and the wind is pushing them down on me. The lady jumps in the water to try to keep them off me. Of course, by the time she reaches the boat, it is over her head, and all she can do is cling to the side of the boat. Naturally it was the side that was about to crash into me, and she was about to become the meat in a boat sandwich. We managed to fend them off, get a line on the boat, so the lady gets in shallow water and pulls them to the original launch point. He still can't get the motor started, and she is standing at the stern holding the boat in place. I was praying he didn't get it started. She is about two feet from the prop, and the boat is bouncing around pretty good. He finally gives up, so they change places. She gets in while he is standing in the water holding the boat, and proceeds to get the engine started. The motor is still tilted up, not in the water at all. She cranks it up to about 5000 rpm, but can't understand why the boat isn't moving. They swap places again, with the motor turning 5000 r's. He gets in the boat, and somehow manages to get it in gear at 5000. She is standing there, and the props are just barely touching the water, all this going on with a kid in the bow. I was sure we were going to see some body part amputated from her, but she escaped unscathed. It was like a horror movie, I could barely make myself watch. We were pulling out as he finally got the boat under control. She is walking up the ramp and tell us "You would think he would know what he is doing, after all, he's a lawer!" As if that gave him some inate knowledge of boating. I just told her, "Well, that explains it".

Now these stories are a great way to start the week. I'm LMAO here in from of my work station!!! All my co-workers think I was drinking at lunch now!!!!:eek: :D :eek:

What I hate most is when people do at the ramp what should have been done before they left, like putting the coolers in, supplies etc....

I also think it is prudent to run the boat on a hose before driving to a ramp. If it won't start at home in the water is unlikely also.

My favorite sign is "do it in the parking lot, not on the ramp" at a local marina.

Loading the boat is always fun to watch, just yesterday, some old hardcore backwoods dude was driving his beat down old cruiser on a trailer that is sunk to deep, every time the driver tried to raise it it fell crooked, so, he grabs a boat oar and tries to drive on and push of the dock each try.
FINALLY he gives up and drives it home all of the bunk on one side....
All this happened with an adult man on the pier smiling, I ask him to tend one of my lines and he just grunted and never moved!
Oh well, it is still early in the season, this thread should grow quick and make good light reading.
Bryan

I'm PISSED...
 

I spend 15 minutes typing some of my favorites and the server was messed up.... here goes in SUMMARY of course...

first was an electrician who tried to launch his boat by himself,, how do I know he was an electrician,, when they dragged his ford ranger up the ramp with the tow-truck on its side, his cap ripped off and all his tools and hundreds of wire nuts, connectors and such spilled out all over the ramp, amazingle his LADDERS were still attached,, guess what was still attached to the back,,,, The trailer of course... The truck popped out of gear rolled into the water, off the end of the ramp and rolled onto its side...

Second,, same ramp, come in after a long day of boating, only to be stopped by the marine patrol from using the ramp,,, look in at the ramp, there is a pickup with a rope attached to its bumper and under the water is a WHITE GLOW,,, I say dammm that looks like a CADDY, sure enough, a guy pulls his buddies brand new 94 eldorado in to pick up the boat,, his buddy tells him to hit and splash right into the water,,,, he left it in reverse.. the roof was a foot under water....

Third,,,, Boat ramp at Gully's bar on the hudson, this drunk guy is pulling out his 23 foot cruiser with a KIA SPORTAGE, with a 1 inch square tube hitch, must have weighed about 4,500 with the trailer,,,, tells me the guy at u-haul said it would be fine.... SURE !!!!

Same ramp,,, guy pulls his 93 chevy caprice in to pick up the boat,,, car is under water up to the trunk,,, can't even see the trailer,,, he gets a running start at it,, goes up and over the trailer onto the trunk of the car and right through the rear window..... backs up and takes another run at it..... meanwhile 500 people at the bar over looking the ramp and clapping and chearing this moron...

forgot this one...
 

Waiting to put the boat in at the ramp,,, dad and son in the boat in front of me are tying off lines and stuff,,, dads getting ready to back in,, I ask the Dad if he is going out or putting in,, he give me a smart ass remark and asks why,, I ask him if he is going to remove his transom tie-downs,,, he removes them,, not so much as a thanks,,, so I figure what the hell I'm going to see a good show,, because what he also forgot was the PLUG,, he puts the boat in the kid is holding the boat while dads parks the truck,,,,he comes back to the ramp spends a few minutes getting started and the kid asks DAD is there supposed to be water in the CABIN,,,,, dad yells the preverbial OH' ****'''' jumps in the 58 degree water, its over his head and he is blowing bubbles.......... I laughed so hard,,,

This is sad but true....

This guy at our lake had just bought a brand new, top of the line, lunker catching bass rig at the summer boat show. It was his first boat and he loved to fish but had always fished from the bank before ( this will be important later in the sotry). As luck would have it, he shows up early at the public boat ramp that morning and he is the only one there it is so early(wanted to get a early start). He backs the rig into the water and had unhooked the bow line prior to backing it in. Well, you can picture what happens next. The boat floats off the trailer pretty as you please and is floating away. This is the sad part. Since he only fished from the bank before, he had on a set of chest high waders. When the boat floats off he goes after it down the ramp. He gets in over the top of the waders and they fill up draggin him under water. Remember, no one is around at this time. A little later, a guy drives up to the ramp and notices a truck running with its trailer backed in the water and a boat floating 30 yards off shore. You guessed it! The guy had drowned himself launching his boat. I guess he couldn't swim either.

My opinion, the dealer should be shot for letting this guy drive off with the boat and not giving him any instruction.

Rick

That's a sad story. :(

Waterfoul and I have this running credit. We have each towed eachother in. one for me for a drive blown, and him , well you know his engine problems, anyway.

Oh, one thing, Were' both Dutch... this is important later.....

So.....we're on our monthly poker run from Holland to Saugatuck for dinner and back. Mike says he is low on fuel starting out , but wants to be first or so to the pier, so he runs light. me too, a little above 1/4 tank starting out the evening. So we race the other 12 boats to the pier, have dinner, etc. and are coming back at dusk.

I hear a call on the marine radio, He's out of fuel. 6 mile from Holland's pier!!!! . So i tow him in. After all he towed me last time when I blew out my outdrive, he's got at credit!

So i tow him in. We hook him up and I set a route to the holland pier on my gps and it predicts 2.4 hrs ETA. oh well, crank the tunes and wave at him and his crewas we tug them along........

So we get the closest fuel dock to open up.got the owner out of bed (10:30 pm now) and put 20 bucks into waterfoul. Mike asks me if I want fuel too while we're here. I'm Dutch so I say naw... i got enough to get to the dock, just across the lake. (thinking it's $1.75 here and $.89 at the gas station).

So we race the last leg across the lake and 1 mile from the dock......
I run out of fuel.rolleyes:

Well Waterfoul proceeds to circle me about 8 times on plane before settling down and pulls me the last mile to the dock. I guess he has a credit again.... DANG:;)

Last summer we were standing by the dock waiting for a ferry. Not much to do so we were watching a guy trying to launch his boat. Well he's in a hurry and had put the traier in crooked. He had turned it back towards the dock and had somehow managed to put the fenders right between the docks pilings. So they launch the boat and he jumps back into the truck. Now I was watching real close to see if he had noticed his trailer being hooked under the dock. If he had noticed he would have turned sharply to the left and things would have been ok. Judging by his reaction, he hadn't noticed. Being in the hurry that he was, he goosed the throttle and caused the rigg to straighten out and acually slide a bit backwards. Now the trailer is definetly locked under the dock and it doesn't matter how hard he spins them! Well somehow the marina owner becomes aware of this. The long line of boats waiting to launch proably clued him in. Well after much discussion, the decision is that they will try to get the trailer to swing over from under the dock with a tractor's loader. Well the truck is in the way, so they drop the jack and unhitch the trailer. You guessed it. As soon as that thing came uncoupled, it took off and was instantly out of sight! The parting image as we left on the ferry was of the tractor putting it's front tires into the water and the trailer's owner wading in with a length of chain. I sure hope the operator was good with the clutch, because those tractors sure don't float either!

Tuvell its funny you should mention the importance of starting your boat on the hose in the driveway before you go to the ramp.

last year when packinair an i re-riged his cat he calls me to go out on the lake for a little test-n-tune session. so i head to his house and when i get there he's got the muffs on and we start to go through our test fire. crank crank crank . . . nothing. hmmmm . . . check fuel, OK . . .. crank some more . . nothing . . . .hmmmm. . . . check some wiring,every thing looks in place. . . crank some more . . .nothing. . . .damn the thing ran great yesterday, WTF. . . . crank some more, check some more stuff . . .hmmm . . .pull a plug and crank it, no spark. must of fouled the plugs(outboards) . . . OK, we go all the way to the marina and buy a two full sets of plugs bring'em back and install them. . . . crank some more . . .nothing . . . by this time it has been about an hour or so of screwing around trying to figure this thing out :mad: an tensions are gett'n high . . .screw this thing, looks like we aint go'n on a test ride today so we break out the beers and try to kick back in the shop when scott looks up on the back of his boat where the lifeline vests are sit'n . . .and attached to one of the vests is . . .you guessed it . . .the plug in's for his kill switches . . . D'OH . . .WE HAD BEEN CRANK'N ALL THAT TIME WITH THE KILL SWITCHES OFF. . . . man i sure hope we're not the only ones to ever do that, cause i sure felt pretty . . . well . . stupid :D :p

Geeez,where to start?

how about the obvious newbie showin his buddies that he can drive his 25 onto the trailer just like that guy(me).He did,missed the front stanchion,nailed the winch with his bow,panicked and hammered the gas.he went about 3 feet into the back of his astro van before pulling back on the stick:D
The new cabin cruiser driver last summer who messed up his dockin so bad that he ended up sideways in a double slip.Not too bad but he gets stuck so he gives her good and the floatin dock breaks introducing his 25 foot bayliner's anchor roller to the side of the shiny new 54 foot searay docked beside him. :eek:

the sailboat driver who backed his caravan into the lake and still couldnt get his boat to float(should have untied it from the trailer) doh!

At least 3 wing nuts who forgot to put their tow vehicles in park after backing down the ramp.

And my all time favorite lanch ramp losers,the ones who need 3 or 4 family members to get a 14 foot tin boat on a trailer in under 30 minutes



:mad:

A variation of the "Tips for beginner pilots"



"Tips for beginner boaters."


1. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller.

2. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end(s) going forward as much as possible

3. Boating isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

4. It's always better to be on land, wishing you were on the water - than on the water wishing you were on land.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. In the ongoing battle between objects made of wood and fiberglass tumbling at over a hundred of miles per hour and the water going zero miles per hour, the water has yet to lose.

7. Never let a boat take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

8. A "good" docking is one from which you can walk away. A "great" docking is one after which you can use the boat again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the speed of arrival. High speed of arrival equals a small probability of survival -- and vice versa

11. You know the ramp is too shallow when it takes full power to reach your trailer.

12. Stay out of fog. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be a bridge.

13. Reliable sources also report that islands have been known to hide in fog.

14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

15. Before launching, keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

16. If all you can see over the bow is water, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passengers, things are not at all as they should be.

17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.

18. Remember, not wearing an "annoying" high-speed life jacket is something people will change their minds about after it is too late.

19. There are old boat drivers and there are bold boat drivers. There are, however, no old, bold boat drivers.

OK, I'll keep all my ramp stories for later. Here's a Poker Run story.

Last year we were on a poker run with the CBPBA in the central part of the Bay(it's gonna be July 20th this year BTW). As we are nearing one of the stops I am sweating it a little because we have everybody going through a one boatwidth bridge, circling around, picking up a card, and then coming back through again. Now most of these guys are pretty good to very good(Art Lilly) and they are managing this with no problems. 5 boats in, 5 boats out, yada, yada. As we are nearing the bridge for our turn to go in I hear engines revving and crash boxes crashing UH OH!!! Now I figure someone is getting beligerent about their turn and this can't be good(barfight later). So the boat in front of us is starting to back down out of the bridge and we beat a hasty retreat to let him come back.......

Here comes Ma and Pa kettle in this raggedy ass work boat smoking and puking all sorts of liquids into the water. He zigs to the left around the guy in front of us and then as we move right he zigs to the right directly into our path. I am now having flashes of this thing plowing into my buddy Kenny's 2001 Scarab at his full speed of 4 knots. Thank goodness twin 350 mags back down almost as good as they go forward:D

Come to find out this guy has run right through the middle of all the milling boats shaking his fist at everyone that told him to back off:mad: And to top it all off he had a USCG auxillary flag flying the whole time:rolleyes:

Oh yeah, I forgot none of those cigar boat guys knows how to drive:rolleyes:

So many boat ramp stories so little time
 

ITs fourth of july weekend, the lake and the ramp are mobbed, i'm waiting to drop off my friend to get the truck, there is one long cement pier and room for about three boats... well there is a tiny spot right at the end of the ramp and this guy says are you gonna go in that spot or what, I say no, and neither are you, your gonna wait your turn just like everyone else, this guy gets pissed, starts yelling at his wife and kids cursing me out,, he throws the boat in gear zooms up to the tiny spot, beaches the boat jumps up on the bow and off into 3 FEET OF MUD !!! right up to his waist,,, well everyone at the ramp is rolling, laughing their ass off at this guy,,, he is holding onto his bow rail trying to extricate himself from the mud,,, what a scene.....

I have been trailering my boat for 13 years every weekend and sometimes 3 times a week, I have seen it ALLL.....

Sandy Point Park, older guy about 50, brand new Fountain. Red, bright red, matching Expedition. Obviously new at this. There are white towels between the boat and EVERY place that the boat touches the trailer. I don't know how he did that unless a boatel set the boat on the trailer for him. Another couple shows up and I guess that they are all going out, even though it's fairly late to start an adventure. By now I'm is slow motion because I don't want to miss ANY of this. He can't get the boat to slide off of the trailer because he doesn't want to get his trailer wheels wet. His bunk trailer. So then he gets brave and decides that he is going to try to snatch the boat off of the trailer by backing up and hitting his brakes on the truck. He figures that this might backfire on him, so he gets a 5 ft line and ties the bow eye to the tailgate of the Expedition. By now I'm having trouble pretending not to be watching them so I figured I may as well just stare. I finally had to leave because you can only stall so long. As I pulled out the boat was still on the trailer and the tailgate was still on the Expedition. I can only imagine the rest.

__________________
NEVER drive your boat where birds are walking.
__________________

Bucky ~ Your signature line above reminds me of a story that could have ended tragically.

I was running my little outboard tunnel race boat south of Laughlin NV about 10 miles. It was a fairly unused section of the Colo. River, and perfect day to do some prop testing.

The River level is known to change frequently, but I figured if I stayed close to the center I'd be ok.

I had made about 5 passes, But on the 6th pass, I decided to head upstream a little farther. Running at about 70mph, I saw about 20 ducks floating to my left up ahead, so I started to turn away, toward the right closer to shore, to avoid them.

Suddenly, as I was only about 50 feet from the birds, I noticed their undersides were about 1 inch from the water!!! The damn birds were STANDING UP! At that same instant the color of the water went from deep green to boat scum yellow - and was only INCHES deep.

I stayed in the throttle and took a deep breath.......said a prayer as I puckered waiting for the jolt.............................................. .................................................. ...........................................and then the water changed back to green.

WHEW!
I came back to the ramp immediately and called it a day :)

"Low Tide" that's what did it. Last year while launching, a guy with a old 27ft cruiser was launching with hi brand new black GMC grew cab dually. I came back from parking our trailer and the wife asked if I could help this guy. He was standing there perplexed because he luanched his boat and couldn't get the trailer out. When I saw how far he had backed in I told him he was probably off the ramp apron and dropped the wheels into the soft mud. I suggested he and his friends try to lift the empty trailer or jack it. Of course he said with this new rig he could just muscle it out with the truck. Well after ramming the trailer, smoking about half the tread off the tires he finally backed up to the bed of the truck and rammed it home. The result was a trailer that now had a trapezoid shape and went sidewas up the ramp. He parked it and went out on his boat!

I have had boats sink on me, catch on fire, steering break, trailer tires fall off, trailer breaks fall off, motors blow up, trim tabs move on their own, nose cones fall off.......... You all having a good laugh at me!!!!!!;) ;) ;) ;)

I'm pulling my boat up the Parkway and this old station wagon goes flying by at almost 70 pulling a 24' Grady White. A boat way to big for that old car. Just as it passes the trailer starts to sway and I start slowing down. To the left, to the right and then to the left again into the concrete divider. He was in the left lane.

As the boat hits the divider a huge spray goes into the air. The car trailer and boat are now all connected but a bit twisted. the boat is across the road, the trailer is on the shoulder and the car is in the grass.

So I pull over just past the boat on the right shoulder and watch these three drunk guys come staggering out of the car. Remember the spray? Well the boat wasn't damaged much. That spray was a garbage can full or water and Blue Fish that are now laying all over the road. There must have been twenty fish and all these guys could do was to pick them up and wait for the cops to come to thier aid.

I left when the cops pulled up, the traffic was stopped for a while, I suppose.

This looks like a good trick...:eek: :eek: :eek:

Back when I was a freshman in high school my best friend had a 12 ft plywood boat, closed bow that seated two people. This thing was real light, the two of us had no trouble carrying it from his garage to the lagoon out back.
I asked what motor he was going to put on it as he had several in the garage. He relpied that he thought it would hold the 40 horse and proceeded to pull it out. :rolleyes: We managed to get it mounted and it didn't sink so we figured it was ok.:rolleyes:
I jump in my boat while he gets his fired up, off we go.
It was early in the evening.
We get out on the bay and I'm running wide open (30 mph +/-) and my buddy is running alongside. I ask if he's wide open and shakes his head no, slams the throttle down and the boat practically leaps out of the water. A second later he's three lengths out in front of me.
Man, he's flying!!
Just about then his boat starts to porpoise real bad.:eek:
On the fourth oscillation it leaps completely out of the water and comes down bow first and slightly on the port side.:eek:
The bow digs in and over she goes, flipping end over at about 40 mph and my buddy get tossed out over the bow. :eek: :eek:
I cut the wheel to starboard trying to avoid the crash and also so I don't run him over. Circling around to port, all I see is what's left of the bow sticking straight up out of the water. My buddy's nowhere in sight. I just get mine stopped and he comes to the surface covered in mud.
When he got tossed out he dove to the bottom trying to get away from the boat.
I ask if he's ok, he is thankfully. He's swims around to check out the damage and finds the motor is still attached.
We tow it home, pull it up to the bulkhead (seawall) where it's shallow and find the 6 gal fuel tank is still attached too. Strong hose.
By now it's dark out.
Just about then his Dad comes over and, not seeing the other boat, asks "where is it?.:rolleyes:
We proceede to tell him the story and his Dad starts laughing his ass off.
That boat never did get fixed. We wound up turning it into firewood.

Three years ago we went for a duck ride (you know the military ones) in Hot Springs Ark. A month after our ride one of the ducks sank. Tragically, a bunch of people died.

Two years ago we went for a duck ride for the company's summer event. A week later the boat sank.

Last year while on Lake Michigan our own boat sank.

So, who's giving us a ride this year?

Come on down Cord
 

Right now I'm thinking my best bet would be the insurance money:eek:

Time to break out the life vest;) :D

Chris

I zoom home after work on a 90 degree day to get in some boating..
 

When I get to the ramp there is OLD station wagon parked in the middle of the ramp and an even older man getting ready to put his ROW-BOAT on top of it... I got the kid next door with me and one of his 18 year old friends, we walk down to the ramp and ask if he needs any help, to which he replies,,, no thanks,,,, I got it... well by the time he pulls it out of the water, flips it over and musters up enough energy to give it a lift onto the roof rack, it must have been fifteen minutes,,,, he struggles with it, gets the bow onto the rear of the car and ME BEING VERY IMPATIENT asks " are you sure you dont need a hand ",,,,,, Listen SONNY, I've been doing this by myself for 20 years,,,, I don't need no help from a young PUNK like yourself,,,, to which we wait about fifteen more minutes while he gets it on the roof, takes out his 50 foot of rope and proceeds to lash it down,,,,,,, waited over a half hour for a row-boat to get loaded......

Do you remember the pictures of the Tug boat that got too close to the bridge and was sucked under, only to tip back right side up afterward, engines still running??


Well, here is the text that goes along with those photos:

http://koti.mbnet.fi/~soldier/towboat.htm


It was at the old Rooster Bridge at Demopolis, Ala. -- April 28, 1979 The CAHABA, Capt. Jimmy Wilkerson, was dropping 2 of his 4 barges thru the East span of Rooster Bridge -- around mile 200 on the lower Tenn-Tom -- with intent of running around thru the lift span and catching them below.

Pilot Earl Barnhart was on the tow helping the 2 deckhands take off safety wires, winch wires, etc. Wilkerson underestimated current, and got too close to the bridge. They had taken loose all rigging except the stbd. winch wire, which had somehow fouled. This wire pulled the stbd. tow knee under the bridge, and when it broke, the towknee popped up and hung in the bridge steel.

Now he's stuck, and the current laid the CAHABA onto the bridge, stbd. side too.

When the lower port deck went awash, the vessel rolled, went through the span, and came partially back up once it cleared. Capt. Wilkerson remained at the sticks; the port front pilot house window blew out, filling the place with water.

The boat with the blue trim you see is the CATHY PARKER; she was waiting above for her turn. The CATHY radioed to the TALLAPOOSA, who was down the reach below Blacks Bluff, that something had happened to the CAHABA. Capt. Gary Grammer tied off the TALLAPOOSA's tow, and light-boated to the CAHABA, where he pushed her out into a flooded corn field. The stbd. main engine of the CAHABA was still running. The TALLAPOOSA then rescued the 3 crew members, and secured the 2 loose CAHABA barges.

The photographer was from the Linden, AL DEMOCRAT, en route to Meridian, MS, and happened to get caught as the CAHABA blew for a draw at the Rooster bridge. It's believed that what kept these pictures out of circulation for so long was that the President of Warrior & Gulf, owners of the CAHABA, bought the negatives immediately after they were published in the LINDEN DEMOCRAT.

What righted the vessel? She had just topped off with fuel at Demopolis, 14 miles upstream. The CAHABA has one central fuel tank fwd. of the engines.

Had that tank been 1/2 full, she might have never come back up.

ST JUDES CHARITY POKER RUN AUG 2001

The HRPA was out in force and this is a true story.

Well there we were in my Donzi, my buddy and I, 1st card in the boat after 13 powerboats ran across the bay, heading for the second stop at 60MPH, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I see a fish about 12-14 inches long jump straight out of the water inches from the tip of the bow, I think cool!
A micro second later my buddy is wapped in the face like Mike Tyson hit him, and bleeding real bad.....
He actually had fish scales in his mouth! The fish actually exploded on impact.
Had to abort the run seek medical assistance.

He was fine, a couple stiches.

Ya just never know whats going to happen.
Bryan

Sharkey, was they guy with the 5 OBs your hero or what?

holy crap bryan . . .all i can say is . . tragically funny . . . . glad he was ok though . . .LMAO :D :D . . .man thats some funny chit . . :rolleyes:

There have been so many I could write a book. My personal best in the last two years, is the guy in my marina that made fun of my boat. I had the sun deck up changing the oil. The guy came idling by with 3 forty something ladies that had no business looking at a bikini much less wearing one. Yuck. But he laughed and made a comment that if I had a new boat I wouldn't have to work on it. He had a newer Baja. Anyway I just smile and say something to the effect of an ounce of prevention as-hole. He starts his turn into his well, and his engine quits. It was beatiful. You should have seen the flurry of cellulite and peroxide hair flying. He slams into the dock and puts a huge gash above the rub rail. They finally get tied up. I'm laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my cheeks. I just hold up my beer, and yell over him "NEED A TUNE-UP?!!" God was he pissed. I was sure he was going to come over and try to start something. But I think he thought better of it.

The atricle is posted somewhere but I couldn't find it... but....
 

two buddies were testing a jet-ski, one in a boat and the other on the ski. Guy in the boat, cant see his buddy anywhere, just a pilot-less jet-ski, he goes over the the ski and see lots of feathers and his buddy belly up.. Turns out this guy hit a duck at about 55mph and broke his neck. I guess nobody told him DUCK !!!

One time two of my frinds and I were out in my old bowrider.
We were chasing Seagulls.:rolleyes: This one gull was a little slow and I managed to get right behind it. It was so close, my one friend riding up forward could just about reach out and grab it.
When all of a sudden.....SPLAT!!.....you guessed it, it took a dump. Right in his face!!! :eek: :eek: :D :D

I chase sea-gulls all the time with the baja.... those suckers can get up and go..
 

between the guy on the jet-ski getting killed by a duck and your buddy getting dumped on,,,, I am thinking that I should think twice about this..

Chris232,

The guy that died on the PWC because of the duck worked for RIVA Yamaha in Florida. He was well known the PWC racing community and very missed. The incident happend this past fall. It caught the whole PWC community off guard.

The incident happened while tuning a boat for a customer.

To put it in perspective.....It was just like the HTM incident in our eyes.

True story.

Buck
#183

After reading this thread I'm afraid to trailer my boat this year !!:D

Since I've owned it I've had it racked stored , well I decided not to this year . Well I've had it at the ramp maybe 3 times and I'm not very good.
I haven't had any mishaps or anything but if someone was watching they could tell I was new and nervous.
Oh well I guess with practice it will get better.

Got two great storys. Guy pulls up to the ramp with a new 19 ft Sea Ray on an ez loader trailer (you know, the one's with the rollers) and procedes to remove the stern straps, and the bow hook. As he's backing down the ramp, you guessed it, rolled right off. Didn't even get close to the water. Anther time I was out with a guy in an old tri hull POS with a push button shifter. As he's coming into the dock he pushes a button and gooses the throtle to slow it down. One problem. He pushes the forward button. Frozen with panic, all he could do was watch his boat slam into the floating dock, so hard that it went right up on the dock (high & dry) Fortunatly, or unfortunatly, depending on how you look at it the Toledo police water rescue team were practicing in the marina that day. They helped us get the boat of the dock, then started asking questions. My buddy sold the boat very soon after that.:D