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Hump Day Humor I

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Old 04-10-2002, 10:39 AM
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Talking Hump Day Humor I

Joe was increasingly hampered by remarkably painful headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life began to suffer, he sought medical help.

The doctor said, “I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.”

Joe was, of course, both shocked and depressed, but immediately decided he had no choice other than to go under the knife. When he left the hospital his mind was at long last clear, but naturally he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he walked past a men's clothing store and thought buying a new suit might cheer him up. The salesman eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see... size 44 long.” Joe laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?” “It’s my job,” said the salesman. Joe tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?” Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Sure...” The salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let’s see ... 34 sleeve and ... 16 neck.” Joe was once again surprised, “That”s exactly right. How did you know?" “It”s my job,” said the salesman. Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about new shoes?” Joe was on a roll by this point and said, “Well, sure ....” The salesman eyed Joe’s feet and said, “Let’s see...9...wide.” Joe was astonished, “That’s right .... How did you know?” “It’s my job,” said the salesman. Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.

Joe was feeling great when the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?” Joe hesitated for a second and said, “Sure...” The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe’s waist and said, “Let’s see...size large.” Joe laughed, “No, I’ve worn size medium since I was 18 years old.”

The salesman shook his head, “Oh, don’t be silly, you can’t wear a medium. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache!”

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Old 04-10-2002, 11:41 AM
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Old 04-10-2002, 12:14 PM
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Old 04-10-2002, 12:18 PM
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Old 04-10-2002, 12:53 PM
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Old 04-10-2002, 12:55 PM
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