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Old 04-12-2002, 02:38 PM
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I cannot comment on the D, never being married, but I have broken up with many a girlfriends (2very serious) over my lifestyle or the way I spend my money. The only advise I can say is its MY LIFESTYLE AND MY MONEY. But thats me. Take into account I am 25. I am enjoying my life, toooo many of my friends are hating life now. I don't understand how so many of my married friends are always broke, but yet they have 2 incomes????? Wich combined is more than I make?? something to ponder.

On a final note, my cousin said after his divorce

"Its never too late to start over again"

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Old 04-12-2002, 02:41 PM
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Where else can a guy with his mind going every which way including loose go and get some good advice!!!! Thanks a million from all of you and keep them coming. It's great to hear from all sides! Maybe by the end of the day I might be able to look at things a little more cheerfully
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Old 04-12-2002, 02:57 PM
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If the retirement funds are already automatically allocated out of current earnings, then you can "invest" in fun stuff also. Like lake cabins (which appreciate) & boats & toys(which depreciate). However, if you buy wisely, you can in fact MAKE money or come close to breaking even, buying and selling boats, while in fact you can use them for your own enjoyment. You can buy quality boats (top of the line stuff) and keep them for several years if wanted, & turn them for little loss. The larger boats are harder to sell but in fact may have less "loss" when turned. They are also an asset that can be sold as needed for retirement. I have lost more money this last year in my 401K than I have lost in my LIFE on boats!
If you postpone living now & plan ONLY for retirement, you both will be very bored & have little in common when those Golden years arrive. Be happy now and any problems later will seem smaller because of the smiles on yours and your wifes faces reviewing your memories together.
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Old 04-12-2002, 03:36 PM
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Seiing as I am on my second wife...... thanks god.!! I can say the big D is always an option....although i would think a compromise would be a much better solution.... and some good honest communication... I do agree that life is meant to be lived today no one ever knows what tomm. brings....It is a tough question that I too struggle with now and then... but for better or for worse I will work to maintain my relationship with my far better other half...... good luck


PS.... maybe she doesn't want to go to APBA or SBI
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Old 04-12-2002, 03:36 PM
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My father died when he was 32- a week before Kennedy in '63
My Grandfather, who became the father figure in my life, and lived until he was 80, summed it up best- something I'm not sure he thought he followed too well- I try my best at this saying of his!

Do not grow old regretting things you did not do
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Old 04-12-2002, 03:47 PM
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There has to be a balance......that's why I don't have a Skater
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Old 04-12-2002, 04:26 PM
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I thnk everybody has made good points. Not knowing about your financial situation you could do one or more of the following:

1. Settle for a smaller, single engine boat.
2. Set aswide a certain amout of money that you will not exceed, no matter what. If you have enough saved you can invest it and spend the interest, dividends or growth only, for example. Then it's like having a perpetual boat fund.
3. Do something to get your wife involved and excited about your boat. Change her attitude. Maybe there is an event or a flea market (whatever ladies like) that you can get to via your boat. Then she might grow to appreciate the money you put into it.
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Old 04-12-2002, 08:50 PM
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No one knows what tomorrow may bring. I'm not saying piss away ALL your money, but we work to live, not live to work. Not even the Bible guarantees tomorrow. Ask the families of the 911 victims how comforting their 401k's are when their hearts are sobbing every night when they go to bed. I think I married your wife's twin sister but she was the one that wanted a boat in the first place so at least we have a chance. Actually she wanted me to get out of hot rods and into boats because her Dad always had a boat when she was little and she hated car shows. Good luck to you.
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Old 04-12-2002, 09:14 PM
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I myself am in the second marriage Club. My first had financial problems and few common goals & interests.
My advice is set up a percentage of money to be set aside for retirement. Say 10%. Isn't that what a church wants? If you make 100,000 gross put up 10,000. Put it into differnt things like money market, stocks, CDs, etc. VARY it, and have her help in those choices.
Unfortunately, If "D" is in your thoughts "$$" isn't the whole story.
Noone is promised a tomarrow.
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Old 04-12-2002, 09:17 PM
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Originally posted by Too Old
Well.....tough question because everyones situation is different.

I am in the reasonably conservative mode. I buy and enjoy boats. I just don't buy real expensive boats. Expensive is a relative term. I buy used, but I try to have a boat I can be proud to own.

I do believe in enjoying myself now. None of us may have a tomorrow. But at the outside chance I do, I have equity in a business that I'm not willing to screw around with. That's my retirement, if I ever retire. I can't imagine not working though.

Bottom line is I don't deny myself much, but perhaps I'm satisfied with a smaller or older boat than the next guy.

I enjoy life and sleep well at night.

As for the wife thing, I've been married for 23 years. My wife is not a big boater but enjoys going out on occassion. She does however understand that boating is my passion. She has never had a problem with me buying boats, spending money on them or boating as much as I want. I take a couple boating vacations a summer without her. The only thing she has ever said about those vacations is "I hope you have a good time".

As she once said, boating and spending time fooling around with boats is alright with her. I could be spending that money in bars chasing skirts.

Hmmm...she has a point.......
Too Old, That's interesting because my wife has the same attitude as your regarding my passion(s). She isn't a big boater either but realizes that I like it and and snowmobiling. She is understanding and supportive as to my leisure time. We've been married 16 years and I am very fortunate to have found her.
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