An offshore adventure story by Bobthebuilder, Story 3 How I grabbed the pole position
 

Since I am on a bit of a roll with this story thing, I thought I would post this one before I head off to Florida for our Ft Myers Offshore club run this weekend. I kept this one relatively short but it's not short of crazy funny stuff that should bring a few laughs at my expense if nothing else. Enjoy if you have time for it. :)
Bob


I am sure I will regret telling this story but I happen to think that it's OK to have a little laugh at ourselves sometimes. The year was 1998 I think and my friend Steve had just bought a slightly used rather sinister looking all black 46ft Cigarette Rough Rider from Mark Adams. We arrived at the Goodland Bay Marina near Marco Island where both our boats were kept. The plan was to take several family members and friends out for a ride.

While Steve was showing the group his new boat, I said I would get my 419 Formula ready to go. He was at the fuel dock and my slip was a short distance away. I climbed aboard and started to remove a line that was tied to a pole off the starboard side. It was a tricky operation as the pole was almost 3 ft away, so with two feet on the deck and one arm against the pole I proceeded to untie the line with my one free hand. So far, so good. Soon the line was loose and the boat started to move away from the pole and I was unable to push myself back onto the boat. Before I know it, I am almost horizontal and it looked like I would soon be in the water. In the mili seconds I had to think about it, I thought maybe I can avoid getting wet by making a jump for the pole! With a leap worthy of the Olympics I managed to wrap both arms and legs around the pole much like a monkey would, I suppose.

Unfortunately for me, I slid down the pole until stopped by an encrustation of barnacles exposed by the low tide. The group soon heard my cries for help and came running. Picture this. (see pic below) I'm hanging on for dear life and this group of about 10 people are laughing hysterically at me and standing there taking pictures. I think there was some video as well that I have since lost track of. I must check You Tube when I get a chance! After they had their laugh at my expense, one of them pushed the Formula back to where I could reach it (see pic below) and somehow I manage to climb from the pole and back onto the deck without getting wet!

I knew I had hurt myself, so the next thing was to do a damage assessment. I had torn the seat out of my pants and blood was running down both legs. I had both slivers and barnacles imbedded in both cheeks. I think you know which cheeks I am referring to ! LOL. Can you imagine the embarrassment of having that removed? I remember my sister doing some of the removal with a pair of needle nose pliers. We felt a visit to the doctor was necessary to cleanse my wounds and I was given a shot as well to prevent infection. I could not sit down for several days and had to sleep on my stomach at night. Thank goodness for stand up bolsters on the Formula that allowed me to get back on the water just a day or so later.

So what are the lessons here? Dunno. All I know is, it is much too hot to wear leather pants in Florida for protection. You tell me? I can't wait to hear. LOL

The end,
Bobthepolesitter

Bob,
I really enjoy your stories

But this one is "OUCH" Painful.

BTW, I also have friends that would stand there and laugh first before helping me

Enjoy your trip to Marco, have a Safe boating weekend also.

My best friend has a house on the Island, right over the
highway 951 bridge off of Collier on the water
Thank you

Bob,
Another classic story, and the pics to back it up!
thanks for the laugh.

Dean

That's pretty funny!

Reminds me of something that happened to one of my customers when I was still working at the marina... It was a Saturday afternoon and I was stuck working. He was out on his boat with a bunch of friends... Late in the day you hear them coming down the river, stereo blasting (4 - 10" subs) and everyone is hootin and hollering as they pull into the slip... I believe they had the Makerena blasting....that was big in the late 90's, lol.

The owner, 3 sheets to the wind... Gracefully parks the boat, and I mean perfectly....totally hammered one of his guests (also another marina customer) proceeds to jump up on the deck...still dancing to the Makerena...to grab the two bow lines and spring lines...

He grabs the line from one piling and pushes the boat over to the other piling so he could grab the other set. As he's grabbing the other set of lines with bare feet, he looses his grip and splash down into the water he goes...but first hitting his azz on the deck before going overboard... It was hysterical...

So, since he's 3 sheets to the wind he comes up with the brilliant idea of climbing up the barnacle encrusted piling to get back on the dock... Bad move cause he immediatly cuts the bottom of both his feet... So at this point we're like ok, we gotta help this guy...

So two of us run over and fish him out of the water... He's standing on the dock, can't stand staight (retarded drunk) with bloody feet and wet clothes when he realizes the keys to his brand new Mercedes (you know, the one with the special computer chip) are now missing from his pocket......

We run up to the shop and get a 10 lb magnet and attempt to fish the keys out of the water and after 30 minutes we give up....

Poor fella but man did I have a sore stomach the next day from laughing so hard!!! His name was Jack and his nickname at the marina was "Jack-ass"......

Interesting story! Can you tell me more about that Cigarette? It looks cool in the pic.

Another great story!! Question...is that the same 46' that's listed at Jim Earle Marine?

Biggus and I were down in Miami for the Cig. poker run when the guy we were running with pulls his boat in. There was a guy helping out, I think his name is Greek Lighting on the board. The boat started to move way from the dock and he was trying to pull us back in. I told him to just let go because I knew it was a lost cause but he held on. next thing you know he is stretched out toes on the dock, hands on the rub rain and in he goes. Cell phone, wallet, you name it all soaked. He did the barnacle climb as well and cut up his feet real bad. Those freshwater guys just don't get it.... :D

Bob you are lucky you had pants on or your azz would have been the leaste of your worries! :eek::eek:

Bob great stories keep them coming sounds like some crap i have done in my younger days only with out the boat

You guys are all too funny. By making me laugh I can somehow justify posting more about my stupidity. Some of my closest friends are again reminding me of many other mis adventures. I want to address some of the questions posed but am off to a hockey game for a couple of hours and will check back in.
Thanks,
Bob

Bob, I am new to the forum and I keep waiting for your stories to pop up. Awesome stuff! Thanks for the lessons, and laughs told so far!

lol, good one Monkey Boy ! :chimp:

:evilb:
:kiss:

Bob i think you should really write a book i would buy one Ed

Ouch!

Yes. Steve brought it to Canada after a bit of time in Florida. He could not sell it in either country so he eventually donated it to a charity for a charitable receipt, I beieve.

It was an interesting boat. All black wath an all red interior. When Steve bought it I went with him to Mark Adam's warehouse in Ft Lauderdale to check it out. Mark took us out for a water test and we were stopped by the Florida Marine Patrol while idling out of the harbor. It had no current registration and Mark was given a ticket. Anyway Steve ended up buying the boat and brought it over to Marco Island for a while before bringing it up to Canada where he has a summer home on Georgian Bay. The boat I don't think ever saw 70 MPH as it was heavy and underpowered with trip 750's I believe. Steve is not a speed demon so that worked for him. As mentioned, he ended up donationg it to charity and Jim Earle sold it to another guy that I do not know. He used it very little , had some problems that I do not have first hand knowledge about, and had Jim re list it I believe. That's about all I know but can put you in touch with people that are in the know on this boat if seriously interested.
Bob

Yes Yes!!! Funny stories from Bob The Builder!
If it's ok, I'd just like to jump in and tell a Bob adventure that I was a part of.
Bob had recently taken delivery of "Mini-Me"( that's my name for his 38ft Donzi that pretty much matches the Big Nor-Tech Team Predator in colour.
It was a nice day so I was more than happy to join him on a cruise from Marco to Everglades City. If you look on a map you'll notice the 10,000 Islands inbetween and a whole bunch of shoals that are probably not navigatable...Unless you're B.T.B.:party-smiley-004:
As we were leaving Everglades City, it got really overcast and started to rain, and neither Bob nor I wanted to get our hair wet. Going the regular way would have taken us around a few Islands sort of South West through the rain before turning North and heading back towards Marco. But Bob had a better idea: His idea which was immediately implented involved going straight North North West, inbetween Islands with notoriously shallow water...I think his exact words were "Ok then, Hans? Brace yourself, we'll just try this" and he trimmed the boat out, pushed the throttles all the way forward with a big grin, and we hauled a$$ ....Passing the WARNING sign that said something to the effect of "18inches of water" ....I was puckered pretty tight and kept waiting for the boat to impale itself on a sandbank....But alas....we shot through those 18 inches of water for a few miles and I don't think there were any scuff marks on the boat (my underwear? Well, that was a different story):grinser010:

Having been on the Big boat with Bob from Key West to Cancun, and having not so long ago helped look for shortcuts going from Nassau to Georgetown, all I can say is that all of his boats should be named "No Fear"....Because he sure doesn't have any!!!!!

Looking forward to the next chapter!!!!!
H.

Bob

two words LET GO LOL

[QUOTE=Bobthebuilder;3032311]It was an interesting boat. All black wath an all red interior. When Steve bought it I went with him to Mark Adam's warehouse in Ft Lauderdale to check it out. Mark took us out for a water test and we were stopped by the Florida Marine Patrol while idling out of the harbor. It had no current registration and Mark was given a ticket. Anyway Steve ended up buying the boat and brought it over to Marco Island for a while before bringing it up to Canada where he has a summer home on Georgian Bay. The boat I don't think ever saw 70 MPH as it was heavy and underpowered with trip 900's I believe. Steve is not a speed demon so that worked for him. As mentioned, he ended up donationg it to charity and Jim Earle sold it to another guy that I do not know. He used it very little , had some problems that I do not have first hand knowledge about, and had Jim re list it I believe. That's about all I know but can put you in touch with people that are in the know on this boat if seriously interested.
Bob[/QUOTE/]

Wow!!! Too bad...it was listed, or has been, listed for the longest time. Awesome looking "old school" Cig, but I guess as you said underpowered. The price drop was amazing! Think the listing said trip 750 Hawk's.

Aside from that....MORE STORIES!!!

p.s. Do/did you own Predator? I think I have a couple of nice pics from the Lake Ontario run a few years ago where the 3 sisters use to be.

Would you have any other pictures of it? At the moment, i have my hands full with a MiniHawk.

[QUOTE=craig anderson;3032367]I stand corrected, yes trip 750's not 900's. I will edit my post to correct. It needs 900's at least.

Yes, did own PREDATOR. That would have been the yellow / orange one which I sold in 2008 and had new 50 NT diesel built ( blue). See avitar for both boats. Every summer I spend some time at Port Credit near Toronto. That is only an hour from my home in Waterloo, ON.

Pi$$ed my pants laughing. Keep those stories coming, can't wait until the next one.

Just some from a distance that are not as good as the one I posted. Sorry.

Nice! I actually live in TO. Should be a different thread...but what happened to the Lake Ontario run?

So Mark, are you sure you still want to take a run at the Chicago to Detroit record with me after reading some of this crazy stuff?? LOL

I just got an e mail from Bill Taylor yesterday saying that it is back on this summer. July 16 & 17 out of Port Credit. It will be a benefit for Hospital for Sick Children so that is something I am happy to support.

Awesome to hear......and for a great cause!!!

Hey, Hans. Was wondering if you would chime in. BTW that sign said " Caution, mean water depth 18 in." Too funny. That was just last year. Since you have only known me now for 5 years I thought I had pretty well matured but baybe not quite yet. LOL

On that shortcut we took thru the Islands I knew it could not be done in the Nor Tech but had a good shot at it in the Donzi. You now know why I carry both Sea Tow and Boat US memberships but truth be told I have not had to call the for help for at least 5 years now. That too is why you always see me checking the tides and whether its rising or falling. Since we are story telling tonight instead of doing something useful here is one for you.

I have been boating around Marco now for 20 years and all the water cops know me and the boats. I have never been ticketed for anything, on the water. One time another friend and I were cruising the Islands somewhere we should not have been. Since it was out of the marked channel technically the speed limit is 20 MPH. We pass a cop in the mangroves at about 50 MPH and he gets singled out for a ticket and the cop motions for me to keep going. Too funny.

Too funny bob

Bob, The same thing happened to me in Key West. I was helping a friend back in the old Pocket Money Cougar and I was on the back and he was about to hit a pole. When I yelled he hit forward and I had to jump and grab the pole or hit the drives. I held on for as long as I could, but slid down and hit the water. I tore all the tips off of my fingers trying to hold on, not a good sight. Good thing was I could still hold a drink after a box of Band Aids.

You and Gino need to get together the stories are great.

It's ok- thanks anyway.
BTW: Do you have any BIG trips planned for this year? Crossing the gulf of mexico?

A couple of things. First some here followed my trip into the southern Bahamas and recall that after three weeks of strong SE trade winds I gave up on the idea of getting to the Turks and Caicos and beyond. My plan right now is after our last FMO fun run of the season in early April is to ship Team Predator down to the Islands, likely St Thomas by the looks of it right now. I hope to boat thru a good part of the Caribbean in April / May and in June start back with the trade winds behind me with stops in PR; DR; T & C and thru Bahamas again to Ft Lauderdale.

Something else that I am giving thought to is trying to establish a record between Key West and New Orleans. It is 560 miles +/- and find that intriguing. My range is 400 miles but could extend that with fuel bladders. At this point I don't know if an official record exists. That should be a summertime run say August. It may be a bit much to take all that on after boating a couple of thousand miles in April / May and June which has the priority right now. At some point I need to back off some and start to take better care of this body of mine. Some parts are soon going to start to wear out I'm afraid ! LOL I will keep you all posted on this as and if things develope.

Bob

Sounds like some good plans. And yes! Keep us updated- the powerboat article of your other trip was great!:drink:

LOL, I would take the swim every time. Those barnacles can cause some nasty infections I've heard. Great story.