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OT: "Texas Diary"

Old 05-02-2002, 12:12 PM
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Talking OT: "Texas Diary"

May 30th

Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air- conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? Too bad it's not a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th

Fell asleep by the pool. Got third-degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th

I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and ****. No more pets in this heat!

July 25th

Dry God D*mn heat, my ass. Hot is hot! The home air conditioner is on the fritz, and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th

Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Fifteen hundred dollars in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th

One hundred and fifteen degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this F**kin' state.

Aug 8th

If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his F**king throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted F***NG Garfield!

Aug 10th

The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to f*ck for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren desert? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!% pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat. What the F*ck!?

Aug 14th

Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the #@*&$!% windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th

Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The #@*&$!% monsoon rains finally came and all they did is make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving back to California for some peace and quiet.
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Old 05-02-2002, 12:21 PM
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Default Re: OT: "Texas Diary"

Originally posted by Risk Taker
That does it, we're moving back to Florida for some peace and quiet.
Good Decision!
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Old 05-02-2002, 02:25 PM
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Default HAAAAH!

Unfortunately a lot of this thread is true with the stinkin heat and humidity! Mostly towards Houston. I would think some of those guys will chime in about it!
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Old 05-02-2002, 02:34 PM
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Old 05-02-2002, 03:02 PM
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You need to move to Oklahoma -- and forget those Longhorns.

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Old 05-02-2002, 03:38 PM
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Default How about this one

Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Utah. It’s so beautiful here! The landscape is so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow! God’s country, I LOVE it here!

Oct. 14 Utah is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through some beautiful hills and spotted some deer. They are so graceful; they are certainly the most peaceful animals on Earth. This must be Paradise. I LOVE it here!

Nov. 11 Deer season starts soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon…I LOVE it here!

Dec. 2 It finally snowed last night! Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard! We went outside and cleaned off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I WON!), and the when the snowplow came by; we had to shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE Utah!

Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that rascal). A winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec. 19 More snow last night…Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work this time! I am exhausted from shoveling, F$*kin’ snowplow!

Dec. 22 More of that white **** fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from all the shoveling. I think the snowplow man hides around the corner and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway. *******!

Dec. 25 “White Christmas” my busted ass! More damn snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-***** who drives the snowplow, I swear I’ll castrate the dumb bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt this f%@king ice?

Dec. 28 More white **** last night. We’ve been inside every day since Christmas except for shoveling out the driveway after “Snow Plow Harry” comes by every time. Can’t go anywhere. The car is buried under a mountain of white ****. The weatherman says to expect another 10” tonight! Do you know how many shovels full of that white **** 10” is?

Jan. 1 Happy F%&*ng New Year, the weatherman was wrong (again). We got 28” of the white **** this time. At this rate, it won’t melt until the Fourth of July. The snowplow got stuck up the road, and that ****head had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I’ve broken 6 shovels already, shoveling all the **** he put in my driveway, I broke my last one over his f%$*ing head.

Jan. 4 Finally got out of the house today. We went to the store to get food, and on the way back a goddamn deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those f%^*ing beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had shot them all last November.

May 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rotting out from all the f$%#&ng salt they keep dumping on the road. Car looks like a piece of ****!

May 10 Moved back to Arizona. I can’t imagine why anyone in his or her right goddamn mind would ever want to live in that god-forsaken state of Utah.
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Old 05-02-2002, 06:39 PM
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I love houston, and it is hot. Once you get used to it, it is not that bad. I love boating all months of the year!
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Old 05-02-2002, 10:06 PM
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Yeah!!!!!!!!! I like the Houston/Clear Lake/Galveston area also,

It's tough,,,,, year round to walk out on the pier, lower the boat, warm up the engines and off we go,,,,

The best part is cruising up the Houston Ship Channel,,, docking at the refineries and filling up for free,,,,,,,,
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Old 05-02-2002, 10:18 PM
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Old 05-03-2002, 12:09 AM
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96 degrees yesterday and 65 today, and I'm still nursing a pretty good sun burn from sunday at the lake
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