A woman walks into a bar and orders a whisky on the rocks. The bartender takes the glass and grabs a handful of ice. “Wait a minute,” says the woman. “I don’t know where those hands have been. Please use the tongs.”

The bartender gives her a funny look, but shrugs and obliges. A couple minutes later the woman notices that the bartender has a string hanging from the zipper of his pants. “Excuse me, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but you have a string hanging from you zipper.”

“Yeah, that’s so when I go to the bathroom, I can just pull it out without having to touch anything,” says the bartender. “That way I don’t need to wash my hands.”

“That makes sense,” says the woman, and she continues to enjoy her drink. A few moments later, after having time to think, she adds, “I don’t mean to pry, but how do you get it back in?”

The bartender smiles and replies, “That’s what the tongs are for.”

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mattyboy