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Cigarette Launches New Model!!!

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Old 12-22-2010, 12:45 PM
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Default Cigarette Launches New Model!!!

December 22, 2010 Miami, Fl

Cigarette Racing, the worlds leader in high-performance boating unveils a brand new addition to their lineup. (I can't believe Trulio missed the scoop on this one???).

Cigarettes new model, the IBS TG will be available in both the 38 side by side and 39 staggered engine configurations. The meaning behind the designation IBS and TG refers to "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" and "Turds Gone".

Said Cigarettes Skip Braver,

"In respone to the underwhelming cry by landlubbing pool boys for performance boat features typically found in a Ritz Carlton rest room, we undertook this serious challenge and have responded with a new design that not only addresses the concerns of those suffering with IBS, but does so without sacrificing performance! We have redesigned our electric drop down bolsters seats into an electric flush bolster using light weight kevlar for strength while actually reducing the weight of the bolster! We creatively used the same electric motor from the drop down bolster for the flush mechanism. And we also came up with a ingeniuos solution for those nasty holding tanks. We designed a direct discharge system, aka the TG "Turds Gone", with the discharge right behind the first hull step the system will discharge turds at speed and with the air and water action under the hull it literally disinegrates them. Thus there is no weight lost to the holding tank, piping or a macerator system, and no crappy odor. With Mercury Racing engines now utilizing closed cooling there is plenty of water volume and pressure available to serve the TG system and its bidet like "no wipe" feature. Additonally since we no longer need our logo'd porta potty in the cabin we have actually seen speeds increase up to .0001 MPH at top end!"

Well there you have it folks, another trend setting statement from Cigarette Racing. Just think you'll never have to worry about having enough Tucks Take Alongs in your pocket or purse again!
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Last edited by omerta one; 12-22-2010 at 09:01 PM.
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:51 PM
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And I was just about to make an angry phone call to Skip at Cigarette.
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:54 PM
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Nice!
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:57 PM
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Lmao
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:04 PM
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LMAO! Poor Jup...
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omerta one View Post
December 22, 2010 Miami, Fl

Cigarette Racing, the worlds leader in high-performance boating unveils a brand new addition to their lineup. (I can't believe Trulio missed the scoop on this one???).

Cigarettes new model, the IBS TG will be available in both the 38 side by side and 39 staggered engine configurations. The meaning behind the designation IBB and TG refers to "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" and "Turds Gone".

Said Cigarettes Skip Braver,

"In respone to the underwhelming cry by landlubbing pool boys for performance boats features typically found in a Ritz Carlton rest room, we undertook this serious challenge and have responded with a new design that not only addresses the concerns of those suffering with IBS, but does so without sacrificing performance! We have redsigned our electric drop down bolsters seats into an electric flush bolster using light weight kevlar for strength while actually reducing the weight of the bolster! We creatively used the same electric motor from the drop down bolster for the flush mechanism. And we also came up with a ingeniuos solution for those nasty holding tanks. We designed a direct discharge system, aka the TG "Turds Gone", with the discharge right behind the first hull step the system will discharge turds at speed and with the air and water action under the hull it literally disinegrates them. Thus there is no weight lost to the holding tank, piping or a macerator system, and no crappy odor. With Mercury Racing engines now utilizing closed cooling there is plenty of water volume and pressure available to serve the TG system and its bidet like "no wipe" feature. Additonally since we no longer need our logo'd porta potty in the cabin we have actually seen speeds increase up to .0001 MPH at top end!"

Well there you have it folks, another trend setting statement from Cigarette Racing. Just think you'll never have to worry about having enough Tucks Take Alongs in your pocket or purse again!
I saw that you sold yours. Is this what you plan to get next?
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by drpete3 View Post
I saw that you sold yours. Is this what you plan to get next?
Too late...already have my next Cig in hand...maybe the next one though... I'm getting old and will likely need that feature.
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omerta one View Post
December 22, 2010 Miami, Fl

Cigarette Racing, the worlds leader in high-performance boating unveils a brand new addition to their lineup. (I can't believe Trulio missed the scoop on this one???).

Cigarettes new model, the IBS TG will be available in both the 38 side by side and 39 staggered engine configurations. The meaning behind the designation IBB and TG refers to "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" and "Turds Gone".

Said Cigarettes Skip Braver,

"In respone to the underwhelming cry by landlubbing pool boys for performance boat features typically found in a Ritz Carlton rest room, we undertook this serious challenge and have responded with a new design that not only addresses the concerns of those suffering with IBS, but does so without sacrificing performance! We have redsigned our electric drop down bolsters seats into an electric flush bolster using light weight kevlar for strength while actually reducing the weight of the bolster! We creatively used the same electric motor from the drop down bolster for the flush mechanism. And we also came up with a ingeniuos solution for those nasty holding tanks. We designed a direct discharge system, aka the TG "Turds Gone", with the discharge right behind the first hull step the system will discharge turds at speed and with the air and water action under the hull it literally disinegrates them. Thus there is no weight lost to the holding tank, piping or a macerator system, and no crappy odor. With Mercury Racing engines now utilizing closed cooling there is plenty of water volume and pressure available to serve the TG system and its bidet like "no wipe" feature. Additonally since we no longer need our logo'd porta potty in the cabin we have actually seen speeds increase up to .0001 MPH at top end!"

Well there you have it folks, another trend setting statement from Cigarette Racing. Just think you'll never have to worry about having enough Tucks Take Alongs in your pocket or purse again!
no more excuses for JS except money!!
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Old 12-22-2010, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by omerta one View Post
Too late...already have my next Cig in hand...
What's in your other hand??????

I could C Pete drive'n w/ his big azz seated on a stool!!
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Old 12-22-2010, 02:26 PM
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What's in your other hand??????

I could C Pete drive'n w/ his big azz seated on a stool!!
I think she said her name was Connie.
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