Like Tree0Likes

"Deadliest Catch" Unionized

Old 04-18-2011, 02:33 PM
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Thread Starter
Too Stroked's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Rochester, NY
My Boats: 1992 Progression 22
Posts: 1,738
Default "Deadliest Catch" Unionized

In response to pressure that public sector employees “just don’t work as hard” as private sector employees – and get better pay and benefits – a number of public employee unions have banded together and done something about it. Next season, the popular Discovery network show “Deadliest Catch” will feature an all union deck crew on one boat.

As you might guess, making this happen will require some changes to the Bearing Sea crab fishing experience so many viewers have become accustomed to over the past few seasons. The most notable changes are as follows:

- A search is on for a suitable boat. Crab boats from previous seasons have been between 95’ and 125’ in length. A much bigger boat is needed to accommodate individual staterooms, a break room, and additional sleeping quarters for cooks, laundry service, a Union Steward and an “Adjustment Compartment.” (See below)

- The Captain will no longer directly control the deck crew or the pace of work. These will all be negotiated (a year in advance) through a collective bargaining process and written agreement / contract. Any deviation from the contract will lead to a grievance being filed and an immediate work stoppage.

- The deck crew will no longer be required to work in “unsafe” conditions endured by other boats in the fleet. Permissible fishing weather is now very tightly defined so as to avoid any crew member from becoming uncomfortable due to excessive wind, wave height, temperature or other conditions. Should any crew member become “uncomfortable,” they will be allowed to go below decks to the “Adjustment Compartment” for as much time as they deem necessary to become “comfortable.” In the mean time, the rest of the deck crew will have a “Safety Stand Down” and not be able to do any fishing until the missing crew member returns. If the missing crew member does not return by the end of the shift, the entire shift will be cancelled.

- Speaking of the deck crew, the days of “green horns” quitting due to unfair and excessive pressure during their first (6) seasons is now strictly prohibited. The contract calls for an “Apprentice” program where young men can now learn the craft of crab fishing in a controlled environment from more experienced deck crew members (with more seniority) by doing most of the actual work.

- Rest periods will also be tightly defined and monitored as per the contract – for safety reasons of course. Each member of the deck crew is guaranteed at least 12 hours of sleep per day and cannot work more than 6 hours per day out on deck. The remaining 6 hours is reserved for safety training, union meetings, “spiritual revitalization” and union promotional activities.

- The crab “quota” for the union boat will be the same as all other boats in the fleet. But, since weather conditions specified in the contract do not exist during the current crab season, a new “union only” crab season will be opened. Since non-union boats will not be allowed to fish during this much safer (and longer) season, the crew is virtually assured of making their quota.

- Crab brought to port by the union boat will be off-loaded only by a unionized dock crew. Unlike the other boats, dead crab will be included in the crab count because the crabs too have been unionized and this is included in their contract. Stores and restaurants are by law required to buy at least 50% union crab at a 77% price premium over non-union crab. (An “Eat Union Crab or You’re Un-American” campaign is scheduled to kick off just before the next season of the show.)

- Speaking of unionized crab, an extensive ad campaign advising crab not to cross picket lines surrounding “non-union pots” has been gearing up as I write this.

When asked what he thought of the new competition, Captain Sig Hansen of the Northwestern replied, “No f___ing way is some G_d d____d group of slackers on a f_____g cruise ship going to compete for my paycheck!” The Union Steward immediately filed a grievance with the National Labor Relations Board.
Too Stroked is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 02:36 PM
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Trade Score: (1)
dykstra's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Washington, IL
My Boats: 29' FOUNTAIN 525SC
Posts: 5,341

dykstra is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 02:39 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Navarre, Fl
My Boats: 1998 baja 25 outlaw, 1984 Phantom 25(for sale), 1989 23 webbcraft velota(sold)
Posts: 207

I hope this a late April Fools joke cus thats just sad
Riley0114 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 02:42 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lk. st. Clair MI
My Boats: 33 POWERPLAY
Posts: 4,498

Very nice!!!
POWERPLAY J is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 02:43 PM
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
My Boats: 2004 29 Outlaw
Posts: 2,793


Also heard this weekend that Ruger is coming out with a "Union pistol". Safest firearm ever invented, it won't work and can't be fired.
jmeng is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 02:46 PM
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Frankfort,ill
My Boats: 40 SKATER
Posts: 12,863

Originally Posted by jmeng View Post

Also heard this weekend that Ruger is coming out with a "Union pistol". Safest firearm ever invented, it won't work and can't be fired.
too funny
RunninHotRacing163.1 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 02:53 PM
Drive to arrive alive!!!
Platinum Member
WARPARTY36's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: E DOCK GLOC, OK
My Boats: 2014 Cigarette 39 GTS
Posts: 3,694

F-ing unions
WARPARTY36 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 02:57 PM
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Naples Fl
My Boats: 02 Velocity Vr1
Posts: 390

hahahahaa, best post today!
searaycer is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 03:13 PM
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Manassas Va.
My Boats: 45SS Sonic 600's EFI's
Posts: 365

Does that mean we might get a price break on the crab legs, since they don't have to work so hard now.
45SS is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2011, 03:26 PM
Charter Member
Charter Member
Trade Score: (1)
Ted G's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Edgerock Baby!!
My Boats: Marlago 35 FS, 18 Neptune CC
Posts: 7,661

At least someone will be there to carry the Caveman's luggage aboard...
Chesapeake Bay Powerboat Association
Ted G is offline  
Reply With Quote

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:52 PM.

Copyright 2011 OffShoreOnly. All rights reserved.