Go Back  Offshoreonly.com > General Discussion > General Boating Discussion
After 100 years she goes home... >

After 100 years she goes home...

Like Tree0Likes

After 100 years she goes home...


Old 06-12-2002, 11:07 AM
RedWarlock's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I knew I shouldn't have made that left turn in Albuquerque...
My Boat: 2001 Warlock 25 World Class
Posts: 632
Unhappy Condolences...

given the circumstances, I think everyone would understand if you didn't go on the trip, and went to the funeral. Your family comes first, and always will. I have a cousin who was "kept away" from my grandfather's funeral 32 years ago, and he regrets not being able to say goodbye one last time. We were both under 10 at the time, and close to my grandfather. To this day, he still struggles with my uncles decision not to let him come. He understands "why", but still regrets not being there. If the girls were close, let them go see her and say goodbye.

I know it sounds cliche, but if you guys need anything, let me know!

RedWarlock is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2002, 11:08 AM
Posts: n/a

IMHO - 7&9 are to young!, don't know what kind of service you'd have but this can be rough on kids that age. Now 12+ yrs old, might be a different story. Let them remember in their own terms.

My 02
Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2002, 11:28 AM
Thread Starter
SeaDated's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Kennesaw, GA, USA
My Boat: 2004 38 Fountain Lightning
Posts: 853

Either way we go, it's a tough decision. The kids aren't real close to her because we live 1000 miles away. They would go see her every time we were home but that's only a few time a year. I think we will explain what is taking place and then ask them. Cayman, (my 9 year old), is very with it and she may need/want to go. Jordan, ( my 7 year old), is kinda care free, shall I say. If asked alone, she'll probably not need/want to go. But perparing them and asking them sounds like the right thing to do. Thanks.
SeaDated is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2002, 11:29 AM
Official OSO boat whore
Charter Member
iTrader: (2)
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Mequon, WI
My Boat: 8' row boat
Posts: 6,157

Go to the funeral. You'll never have the opportunity to say goodby again. I was their age when my grandfather died. Although I didn't really understand what was happening, I still remember it to this day. There must me a closure to the relationship. Besides, what would people say about the guy that cut out of a funeral to go boating? You'd sure look like a shmuck.
Cord is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2002, 12:12 PM
GregP's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Annapolis MD
My Boat: 1989 Scorpion 32 CC
Posts: 1,464

My daughter was 5 when my father died. She went to see him in the hospital, gave him a kiss on his nose (resperator tubes hooked up) that she still talks about. She did not go to the memorial service as by then she and my wife were both back home on the east coast and he lived on the west coast.

She was 7 when my brother died. This time she didn't get out to California until after he died, but did attend the memorial (and the "irish" wake after).

The memorial service was hard on her (mainly seeing her daddy cry), but she did well.

She talks fondly of memories of both grandpa and uncle Jeff when they were alive, and a little about uncle Jeff's memorial and how she misses not being at grandpa's.

You have to let your personal circumstances figure in, but at least in her case she has shown to be old enough to deal with it well, and I think we did the right thing by having her attend my brothers service.

GregP is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2002, 12:36 PM
MitchStellin's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Grand Haven, MI USA
My Boat: Zodiac RIB
Posts: 3,124

I say take the kids. Today there is so much death and distruction on TV that it has no real meaning. This will put it into perspective and help them understand that it is for real. They will understand at this age so the trauma will be nill. This will not be a sad event as She lived a great life and all there will only wish the same for themselves. It will also live as a memory that good clean living, a healthy lifestyle, and lots of Boating can lead to a great long life with huge rewards. Seeing all who cared for her will give a new meaning to family and keeping in touch with the ones you love. I think it will be an excellent learning experience. Just prepare them for the event and they will not be scared. You cannot shelter kids forever and the younger they learn the better they cope with these situation later in life. My Grandmother just passed at 98 and I would have been very upset if I had missed it. God Rest Her Soul. We should all be so lucky to live this long. Say a prayer for all of us please.
MitchStellin is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2002, 04:33 PM
Playn's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,367

Sorry to hear about your loss

As a father of three I've thought about this issue quite a lot since my mother is not doing very well at all. I can't say that I've made up my mind whether to take them when the time comes and was leanning towards not taking them (maybe just to shield them I suppose) but, there have been some very good points for taking them brought up on this post.

For what it's worth, I was at a funeral this week and several children were there ranging in age from 4-13. It was their Grandfather and they all did handle it very well.

I'm sure if you discuss it with them you'll be able to figure out the way to go.

Good luck
Playn is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2002, 07:46 PM
Charter Member #415
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Jasper,Alabama
My Boat: 1968 Switzer Shooting Star,1967 Switzer Shooting Star,1963 Glasspar G-3
Posts: 3,357

Listen to your wife. It's her grandmother,she has made her wishes clear.The kids will remember their great grandmother from March,there is no disrespect here.My uncle died last week at age 87 in California, I'm in Alabama,didn't go, I'm sure my uncle would have understood, I believe Gram would have too
Magicfloat is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2002, 08:56 AM
Posts: n/a

my .02

Skip the wake/viewing..... Go to the service.
The more honest you are with kids, the more they trust you later in life!

It will do the kids good in he long run to see a few adult family members reaction to the loss of her.

At 100, if she was still with it.....God bless her!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2002, 09:02 AM
Secret F233
Posts: n/a

Take the kids on the run it's her family only she know if it will be ok & most of all it'll make the MRS. Happy
Reply With Quote

Quick Reply: After 100 years she goes home...

OSO Sponsor
OSO Advertiser
OSO Advertiser
OSO Advertiser