Stupid People With Boats
 

Yesterday being father's day and all I decided to take my dad out on the boat. Since the original weather forecast called for rain and the day actually turned out to be really nice I figured I'd take advantage of it. My boat did not see water. As we approach the ramp in the marina to drop the boat in we're told the ramp is closed. Some IDIOT sunk his truck while putting his boat in. The whole truck was under water. Had I had a camera at the time i would post some pics but i forgot it again. Just so everyone knows there is nothing more amusing than watching stupid people put their boats in at public ramps. If anyone on this board uses a public ramp and happens to see these stupid people please smack them. this moron ruined my day and more importantly my father's. i think all of us responsible boaters who know what we're doing should come together and raise money to buy the boats of stupid people:D . that way the water will be a safer place and i won't have to wait to put my boat in because some idiot sunk his truck, or can't drive onto a trailer, etc.

Russ

In/Out Service! Worth every penny!:cool:

Some of the best entertainment around....better than some comedy clubs:D :D :D :D

I get a kick out of watching people launch there boat at the Newburg ramp while relaxing at Gullies with a cold one. Its sometimes better than the comedy club. I should keep a video camera with me. :D

I put my boat in every weekend at a private ramp, NJ has no public ramps (they have no money), and it is absolutely amazing to watch weekend warriors try and put their boats in the water and take them out again. I sometimes go down to the ramp and bring a couple of Coors Light and sit and watch the show. It would make Worlds Funniest Videos every weekend. Of course when a few "ladies" are trying to back their new PWC's down the ramp pushed by a brand new Esclade, get all screwed up, of course I offer to put their "boats" in the water for them. I am a Gentleman!!!

Watching people docking rental boats can be equally amusing:D

Last year, we saw one guy bring a rental in perpendicular to the dock and instead of slowing down, gassed it by mistake. There were 2 kids on the dock waiting to help. One went for an unexpected swim. Fortunately all were OK. Don't know about the rented Bayliner though, probably totaled it!

LMAO!

If anyone is familiar with the S.E.15th st ramp in Ft Lauderdale, on any weekend it's the best comedy club.....just watching these drunken fishbillies try to back the trailer down the ramp, then, when the truck is in the water up to its doors, they attempt to get their 15 ft boat onto it and wonder why it doesn't center itself on the bunks:rolleyes: .the best part is when they try to dump several cases of empty beer cans into one of only 2 little trash cans! And the police station is right there!:mad:

There is a launch ramp on Lake Havasu that the locals go to on weekends just to sit and watch the idiots launch/retrieve their boats. They then hold up their score cards, much like the old Olympic gymnastic judges.

It always amazes me when I see 6-8 fools trying to put their 16-foot runabout on the trailer, and they can't for the life of them get it right. It really peeves them when I back in by myself and put my boat on the trailer alone, and am gone in 60 seconds. They just sit there, mouths open, all three of their teeth pointing in different directions, wondering how the heck I just did that. Some people just shouldn't own boats!!! :cool:

You ever notice that the smaller the boat, and the more people that are "helping", the longer it takes to launch or retrieve?

It can be funnier than hell!:D But, at the same time, it can be very annoying if you are like RCM255, waiting to use the ramp! That was a one of the reason we moved on to the H2O a couple of years ago, I only need to use a ramp usually twice a year for my yearly maintnance!
Laveyman,
That scorecard thing @ "Haveafew" must be hilarious!!:D
MD:cool:

Dave M,

I think it was Einstein's Theory of Retrievability. The number of rednecks required to launch or retrieve a boat is inversely proportionate to the length and/or value of the boat!!! :D :D :D

Dean,

It is friggin' hilarious! They can also be pretty brutal with their verbal comments to those who are less than skilled at launching. :rolleyes:

You should see the look on peoples faces when my wife backs the trailer in I drive on, she hooks up the winch strap, gives it a couple cranks, and pulls out of the way while I'm getting things put away on a good day we tie up the ramp maybe 3min.

Last year she had a guy ask her if she could please back his trailer in after he made about 20 trys!

I'm sure that many marrages have ended at the boat ramp!!:cool:

its good to see that all retards w/boats aren't located around me.
there's quite a lot here in the Philly area.
i forgot to mention while all this was going on they light one guy pull his boat out
moron forgot to latch the winch and drove right up the ramp
:confused:
he got lucky this time
i was waiting though. it would've been funny to have two jack a%@ on the same day

It always amazes me to see the guy who is trying to put his boat on the trailer while his wife is driving the truck. He's had too much to drink, and is a jacka$$ to begin with, and because HE cannot get the boat set on the trailer correctly, he blames his wife. The he feels compelled to yell, scream, curse at, belittle, and flat out degrade his wife for HIS IGNORANCE . Makes ya want to walk over and make the jerk fish food. :cool:

290PQ...Are we married to the same wife??? :D :D

Seriously, isn't it great to have a wife that can do that? She still will not attempt to drive the boat on the trailer...I think THAT is my fault...:eek:

I live in Virginia...you have no idea what you may see at the end of the day...:o :p

I've got one of those signifigant others than can get down a ramp pretty good, too.

Most of the time she backs down, I put the boat on, she winches it, and we're out in 2-3 minutes. When we go to put it in she barely even stops! ;)


What REALLY gets me is how hard of a time people have launching. Retrieving is harder because you have to line up and center the boat... but launching? get it floating, untie it, back off.

I saw a guy at conroe a few weeks ago that backed his 16' bowrider down so that the wheels of the trailer were ALMOST to the hubs, the transom was barely wet. He then proceeded to try and power off of the trailer. When he didn't get anywhere he had his son go on the bow with an oar and push off the back of his truck! The guy was taking up a lane for about 15 minutes, three other boats (including myself) launched in the time it took him to get off the trailer.

With all of this talk I better get my front rubber stopper moved so it's easier to load and unload!! I guess this trailer was not made for this boat! It work's and looks fine until you try to put in or take out!! I have to back WAY down into the water to get the boat set in place.

Still, I can usually beat anyone else that is at the ramp, including the Jon Boat's!!!:cool:

We have a nice county ramp which has 3 double ramps with piers between each. On weekends this is a very busy place and all ramps are well used. A couple weeks ago we are coming in for the day, I dock at an open ramp and run up to get the trailer. When I get to the ramp there are two guys launching and have their trailer right in the middle of the double ramp( with my boat half behind theirs. The then begin to prep the boat to launch ( there is a nice staging area for prep prior to getting to the ramp) After sitting there waiting 10 minutes for these idiots to uncover and load everything on the boat I get out and ask them to launch or move over, the response was we're not ready yet!!! It took another 10 minutes and then their 28 Scarab which they had painted 30 Scarab on wouldn't start and allmost floated into my boat. I got my boat on the trailer as quick as possible and left the zoo.
Oh and while that happened a guy had a jet boat which he had backed the trailer in too far and couldn't understand why his boat kept floating off the trailer. What a day.

I seem to astonish people watching the show at the ramps when I am by myself and I launch/recover my 38 Cig.
I actually don't want help and I'm sure most of our fellow members here feel the same way.
Before my turn at the ramp, I get ready by putting in the plug then untie any straps & then put a line on the bow cleat, tied to the trailer with about 8-10 feet of slack line.
I then back in slowly & just as she is floating, crack the brakes lightly & SHAZAM! It floats!. I walk onto the trailer, pull her up & climb onto the bow & take her to the dock 15' away.
"WOW"

Pretty scary huh? Seeing is not believing sometimes, some of these morons that we see are our doctors, lawyers and police officers. They must be born with two left feet. How they get by with their daily activities without stressing themselves out is beyond me.

My wife backs our rig into the water, releases the winch and as I am firing up and backing up and away from the idiots, she parks the truck and trailer and when the day is done, we dock at a far far away ramp, she gets the setup and we are loaded in 30 sec. tops. We're on and out of the way in less than 2 minutes.

This is especially a family past time (our kids love to watch and make offers to help [6 and 9 years old]) to watch those boaters who are inexperienced. You know how vocal kids are. "Dad, look at that dumb a______".

SAM

To all, the previous reply was not intended in any way to offend anyone. Just want to make that clear up front. The truth does hurt sometimes.

SAM/Double D :)

I pulled a stupid at the launch on Sunday
I will fully admit when I was wrong and apoigize to all it effected
put hte boat in the water, only backed it enough to foat the transom and not to much to leave the bow on the bunks.
unclipped the front bow eye strap and climbed aboard.
Now I usually give the engines a 'tap' o nthe key while prepping the boat prior to launch. Did not have the time due to a short line.
Hopped in and nothing, nodda, zilch :(
I go like WTF???
Everything had power.
Lets just shorten this un and admit that after about 5 minutes and just before I was going to hop out and pull it back to the prep area, low and behold I noticed the nice little RED kill switch lanyard laying under the front seat.
Somehow when I was taking off the cockpit cover I must have pulled it out :(
friggin piss me off to no end.
Then after starting up and the people at the tie up wall pissing n moaning about hte noise would not move their fishing lines I can them over. (the lines that is :) )
Then I proceeded to leave the boat idle while parking the truck n trailer :)
Did I mention the power take off 100 feet from shore with the exhaust open right in front of them.:D
I am so glad I still have 10 inflated tires upon my return that night :)

When you see these people, just hand them thier sign and walk away. The sign must have enough chain so they can wear it around their necks. Sign says,

"I am a stupid moron, please excuse me while I screw this up".

You guys need to come over to the Alsip boat launch on the third of July for a good laugh. They launch anything that floats that night to see the Fireworks in Chicago. Most of the regulars know it as amateur’s night out. We go down to the ramp just to watch the festivities. One guy, with a roller trailer, had a roller come off. He kept winching the boat on to the trailer while watching the gel coat flake off into the water. He put a three-foot gouge down his boat. Another guy with a 38 foot Scarab hits and nearly sinks another boat. He doesn’t want to miss the Fireworks so he throws the guy a business card and tells him he will take care of the damage and takes off. The police were waiting for him when he returned to the ramp! He got to spend the night in jail.

Husbands and wives seem to communicate so well on these holiday events. Husband screams and swears at his wife to give it enough gas to get it on the trailer. Wife slams the throttle forward and ends up in the back of their pick-up. She says, is that enough F###in gas! :eke: Another Husband is yelling at his wife to pull the rope harder to get the boat off of the trailer. He nearly puts the whole rig in the water because the boat seems to be stuck to the trailer. They both sit there swearing at each other on whose fault it is. I told them it was easier to get the boat off of the trailer with out the straps on. :D

My other favorite thing is when someone ties off their boat with one rope and leaves it to float in the middle of the ramp while putting away their trailer.

So many stories, so many idiots, so little time!

Dan

I think I may stay off the water next Father's Day. Never seen so many idiots on one small body of water in my life.

So we are sitting on the beach at the Narrows (Seashore State Park) minding our own business. I am between BillR and Vyper340. I watch as this guy in a Wellcraft Cruiser tries to pull up a little further down, but decides against it for lack of room. He backs out and turns towards us. Instead of completing his turn he starts coming directly at me. I am friggin in disbelief as I watch this idiot continue towards us rather than simply turning his wheel to bring his nose around. Well, I am standing on the swim platform watching his bow pulpit coming right at me. He finally turns his wheel enough to bring the bow around so I can grab his bow rail and push his bow out while his stern slams both Bill's swim platform and then mine. Fortunately the SS rub rail does its job and little to no damage to either of our boats.

I ask what the heck he is doing as he slams my boat. He says "it stuck in gear" and drives off without another word! :eek:

I was floating near a launch to pick up my dad who had parked my trailor after launch. Pretty soon a group of 3 redneck fishermen get set to launch their 16ft boat with an old 50 johnson outboard. I was thinking from the start that this could be a good one...anyway, the trailor back-up and beginning to the launch go uneventful. The boat owners buddy was going to drive the boat until he and his wife get back from parking the trailor. After a looooong smokey warmup the guy starts backing the boat off the trailor. When he gets back about 5ft from the shore he throws it in forward and starts to turn. You could see this guys eyes begin to get very big as he begins to realize that the boat is not going to make the turn before he can avoid the shallow rocky water near the shore. Naturally...:rolleyes: :rolleyes: he guns the boat thinking this will solve his problem. As this boat is in a full left turn with max power....motor really digging in....the prop contacts many of the rocks in the shallow water. I mean this motor was hitting so hard the prop was coming all the way out of the water on the recoil...then back in etc. This happened about 5 times. Finanlly this idiot gets the motor turned off..at this point he wasn't going anywhere because his aluminum prop was toast. His buddy..the owner could only yell "MY PROP". There was a pretty strong breeze so the "dead" boat starts drifting out into the lake. The guy dives out of the boat and swims it in. HILARIOUS.:D :D

My favorite was the Springfield MA fireworks Bondys Island launch scene.
All the people with "once a year" launches. Dirty gas, skipping outboards, crying children.
And the best part....the ramp scene.

It is usually the father with the new boat who has not a clue what he is doing. Ends up yelling at the kids and the miss's for his stupid mistakes, etc... BUT the best part is after the fireworks are over!!
Fistfights over who is going to pull the boat out first. Races to get to the launch quicker. All the horns honking and the sound of trailers hitting car sheet metal. :D
I wish I had nightvision camera. There should be an mpeg spot here on the board for uploading the best stupid boat captures.:)

There is one story I have to mention though...... not all new boaters are stupid. I remember the Enfield launch and this one guy. He certainly had the backing up part down.... After he had spent 45 minutes tying up one side of the ramp, trying to drive his bowrider on the trailer, he gave up and pulled to the side. After everyone else had gotten out, he watched me pull my boat alone with a 15 foot line off the front.
He sat there and looked at me dumbfounded, like I was a wizard.
I looked at the guy and said, "nice looking boat...you need a hand?" He almost cried with joy. I spent about 40 minutes with him, his wife and his teenager. (the ramp was deserted by then anyway) They all got a chance to load the boat alone by hand and unload it. Once I showed them how to use a roller trailer properly, it was like a big game. I made friends for life.
I have seen him since several times over the years. Nice guy. Nice Family. Tows in anyone anytime if they are dead in the water..heh

I read a lot of folks laughing at the idiots. I have asked if people needed help and been snubbed a few times......thats when I watch and laugh. There sure are a lot of people that won't accept help.
But what about the guy who is new, frustrated, does not have a clue...but is a nice guy? I think you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Introducing someone to boating as a hobby where people help each other out freely is certainly more likely to make a good boater in the end..... :D

I think I am going to compile a video for down load of Stupid Ramp tricks, Each time I go out this year with friends or alone, IM taking my video camera
Just hang at the docks for a little while , take some footage, then go do my thing, when I come back , turn it on again and take some more footage, if I get something (and You all know I will) then I do, if not, rewind and be ready at a later time.
Then Ill make a big MPG file for download
We can ALL have a laugh
I love the guys that forget to put their drives up,
someone driving truck, boat owner in boat, starts going up the ramp, and you hear the "KUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH GOD DAMN $HIT STOP STOP STOP STOP damn son of a ***** F**KING $HIT Oh my god this must be broken, I put the drive up!!!"
Yeah sure you did buddy, your boat is 6 weeks old and you have trim pump failure Uh huh, Sure palley boy!
and Im the queen of england and the pope is jewish!
Nice gouge your skeg left in the concrete ramp though, Very artistic!!! You come here often.
lets not limit this to boats here
Another I like to see is when people walk into the water and of course all ramps happen to be the slimest things in the world right
then someone walks into the water to give their boat a shove to get it off the trailer (durrr that is what the engine is for) and then tanks themselves BLURP gone, Splash the come to the surface and there is like 40 people like cracking up, then you try to be like Tommy boy in that movie, Yeah (sucking in the gut and standing tall and talking like a pro wrestler) yeah I meant to do that, just looking at the Incubation degradation period on the direct retractible swivel shaft and clevis pin mounted on the flux capacitor with the removeable wings for accurate hydrodynamics !!
YEah captain dingleberry YOUR ASS JUST FELL AND WE ALL JUST SAW IT!

Last but not least is what I like to call da da da doucccchhhhhhhheee syndrome
When a multiple screw up incident occurs.
Example, when some guys and rednecks whoever, forget to put drain plug in, cant get boat off of trailer, then they finally do and it starts to sink, then out of panic (like 6 feet of water is something that your going to die in right?) they nail the throttles to get it back on the trailer, but unknown to Zeek in the truck, he is driving trailer out of the water to go park the 18 foot trailer in MY GOD DAMN SPOT designated for 30+ foot boats, then Kahrul drivin the boat misses trailer cause it is now half way up the ramp and CRASH right into the loving texture concrete provided to us from the local govt!
Fun Fun Fun
Hey russ
wanna just go watch the ramp this weekend?
LOL
Jason

this happened last saturday...
 

Sat and waited 15 minutes for for this guy who drove his ford contour down to the waters edge and proceded to un load his tackle box, fishing pole, batteries, trolling motor, oars, seat cushions and anchor from his 12 foot row boat,,, then it took him another 15 to tie the boat onto the roof rack.

Hey Jim! are you refering to me with that post?
LOL, Seriously though I,ve seen all the same stuff, my wife has really improved at her trailer backing skills and it often amazes guys on the ramp. WHen I was a kid my dad and I used to go to South Cove on Mead alot, and we used to see this Ranger there who would offload his boat alone so smooth, he'd have a 50' rope coiled on the trailer and just back in with enough speed to have momentum carry the boat back about 20' and then park his truck and walk down as the last bit of the 50' of rope was playing out. He'd pull the boat in and drive off never more then 2 min. alone. Conversely we had to pickup a bass boat that fell off the trailer at Canyon last Fri. and carry it to the water. :confused:
Chuck

I usually have 6-8 people aboard, When launching, I tell them all to "stay in the truck, I'll do it", which they never listen, and then offer up the "ya know you should..." senario, which I ignore, and I swear I repeat, "thanks for staying in the truck" at least 5 times every time I launch. On retrieval I pull up, make everyone get off the boat, and wait in the staging area, then tie it up myself, and load it myself all in no time at all. If they try to halp, triple the time it takes to load. I like it my way, and if something isnt right there is one person to point at. They do understand that at least.

My favorite launch itiot move was a guy with a roller bunk trailer, in the staging area, I had just put in and was walked back to my boat, I get to the boat turn on my blower, and am waiting a few before firing up the motors. I am looking at this guy, and he is undoing front hook which I think to myself "That's stupid, it's a steep ramp and he has a roller trailer" I yell to my crew "HEY WATCH THIS GUY WITH THE CRUISER", and point at it as I fire my motors up. This guy hops in his truck, put's it in gear, and hits the gas, and never made it anywhere, the 27'cruiser flies off and smashes the drive into the cement, and the whole boat comes off the trailer, and is laying on it's side in front of the launch. Everyone on my boat is silent in amazement with jaws on the floor. I look back said how was that for a launch as I put it in reverse... Thank god it was gone when I came back at the end of the day!

LOL, JayL13!!! That was funny.

I get a kick out of the Bass Boaters that like to throttle onto the trailer. They just need that extra 6 inches or so, so they trim that eggbeater up, and gas it! Next thing you know, the nose of the boat is in the back of their pickup or SUV. I have seen this so many times, I can usually predict it!

This isn't exactly a launch/retrieval fiasco, but stupid nonetheless...my father had a picnic last weekend for some of his co-workers, and I had my old 93 Waverunner out on the water for people to ride. I let this one guy take it for a spin, I go to grab a beer, and 10 minutes later he comes back from the dock with the lanyard in his hand....he had run the jetski entirely up on the rocky shore next to the marina! :eek: :mad: i'm still not sure how he managed that one! needless to say, i have some sanding and patchwork to do :rolleyes:

don't bring up the bass boat guys. the very first time i took my boat out some pimple faced, four eyed nerd in a stupid bass boat
ran right into the back of me. gouged my nice paint and all
i flipped on the dude WTF, he goes sorry. sorry my a$$ you geek
i just don't seem to have luck on the ramps. definetly thinking marina next season

Russ

I can relate to DJD. I often launch/recover my 28 Velocity solo and I usually accomplish this faster than others at the ramp with help. Peoples' jaws drop even more because I'm a girl...

Last April after the race in Saint Cloud, FL I was pulling up to the ramp and in the center position was a large Formula, 36+ ft, with tripple drives. He's got the nose on the trailer and decides to power it on just as I'm passing about 20 ft behind. He hits the throttles with the drives raised and shoots a rooster tail that goes completely over our boat.:rolleyes:
I never saw so much water go in the air in all my life. we were lucky we didn't get swamped. He then procededs to get mad at me for not staying clear.:confused:
Fortunately we were ok but didn't get a chance to tell him off. By the time we got cleaned up and docked he was gone.

Racing_fan,
Your co-worker probably made the same mistake that all first timers make. He was heading towards the shore too fast and panicked. He chopped the throttle to slow down then tried to turn with no power applied. It went straight on the rocks.
Whenever I have someone who has never ridden one before I always take them out with me on the back first so I can show them how to handle it. One of the first things I teach is what happens when you cut the throttle and try to turn. The look on their face when it doesn't is priceless.:D