It doesn't happen very often, if it's another boater with you they know the drill, it's just that occasional guest that is just clueless

Mine Would Be When You Leave The Dock And The Guest That Was Late And You Waited For Forgets Something And Asks You To Turn Around!

Or someone dropping a duece in your head and telling you afterward

3. Girls who can't comprehend the concept that they are going for a ride on a PERFORMANCE boat. It goes fast and bounces around a lot. Why did you bring a duffel bag full of crap for an afternoon ride? No you can not bring those wine glasses on the boat and no you will not be drinking Merlot. I had a girl this weekend show up with two bottles of champagne and she was shocked that I didn't have champagne glasses onboard. I plan on doing 65+ in 2-3's, I don't need a couple champagne bottles banging around in my cabin. If I were taking you for a ride in a Ferrari would you show up with a fruit platter?

4. I've pretty much given up on letting people help me dock. Even though it would be nice to have a capable set of hands when squeezing into a tight spot at a restaurant on a windy day, I'm better off just doing it myself. I'm pretty anal about not wanting to get my lines wet. Without fail I would have the lines set and ready on the sides of the boat while I'm manuevering to the dock, when I'm like 20 feet away some drunk will be on the docks with his hands out "yelling throw me the lines" and one of the girls will throw the lines right in the water. First of all I am going to get us right up to the dock and second why do you think I want some drunk I never met helping me dock my boat and third what made you think you can throw dock lines 20 feet? These boats attract a lot of attention at the dock and random people are always eager to help. Another boater running over to grab a line in the wind or fend you off a piling is one thing, but having 6 randoms try to get involved in you docking your boat (and shouting instructions at you, BTW) can get annoying.

My favorite of all time was when we had our 40' Express Cruiser and we would have relatives from up north show up all the time...which was great until one time. Our niece and her husband wanted to bring a couple down with them and stay with us and go out on the boat. We had never met the other couple but we figured it would be ok.

We went to the airport to pick them up and we looked all over for our niece with no luck. Finally we got a call from them and she explained that they had to cancel because of one of their kids football games or some such crap...BUT their friends were coming anyway. I had a call break in and it was the couple that was coming anyway. We agreed to meet them at the baggage claim and I was already putting the stink eye on my wife and she knew it. We meet up with this couple and I swear to God I don't know how they got thru the metal detector to get on the plane!! They both had piercings in just about every strategic part of their heads and bodies...and talk about Tat's...they looked like they just walked out of Miami Ink!!

So we had planned to go straight to the boat and we did. We got to the boat and showed them around they both lit up cigarettes and started raiding the beer. They had no shorts, only had hard soled shoes and had no money. we went out and about 20 minutes after we left the dock they both started puking their guts out...I mean projectile phuking vomit all over the GD boat!!! I was chasing both of these ass holes around with the wash down and made them both go off the transom platform to wash up.

I got both of them back on the boat and they were biatching and complaining about how hot it was (West Palm in February...maybe 75*) and how they hated the water. I turned around and headed for my slip...tied up and got these two people into my SUV and headed to the airport. I dumped them and their $hit at the Delta depart ramp and said they could get the next flight home inside. My wife and I looked at each other and started laughing our a$$es off.

The next day the niece called raising hell about how badly we had crucified their 'Friends" and they wanted an apology. My wife told her niece to phuk off and that $hit caused a rift in the family that has lasted six years.

We still laugh about it to this day.!!!

Love that link you got going

like this one too http://traviscrossett.com/1.jpg

Another goodie is teenage girls who haven't figured out that it doesn't take a half roll of TP to blot their cootch after taking a pi$$. Seems like that always happens with sleep over guest on the boat at 3 AM and the toilet runs over all over the GD boat. Also they still think the feminine napkin has to be flushed also...despite warnings. I alway like to spend time in the bilge cleaning out the holding tank piping!!

Agree with this....back when I got my first boat, I pretty much let it slide that first summer. I was having fun,they were having fun, and at the time, the couple of regular friends that came out with me helped pitch in with cleaning, beverages, and the like. Soon after, I moved up to DFW and got a new group of friends who thought I was their personal cruse ship/bar/ pu**y wagon. I brought that to a halt pretty quick by being up front...
Me: "Wanna go out on the boat with me this weekend?"
Them: "Sure, that would be awesome!"
Me: "Cool, meet me at<insert marina, restaurant,or gas station here>. Bring whatever you want to drink, and grab me a 12 pack too"
them:" I have to bring you beer too?"
me: "either that, or split a tank of gas with me....it's 140 gallons"
them:"whatcha drinkin?"

Pretty simple exchange. Also, the "back at the dock" thing at a certain time drives me nuts too. I try to make sure anyone coming along knows the schedule ahead of time, and even go as far as to tell them to make contigency plans in case we end up staying on the water overnight. If all that has been done ahead of time and I still get that request after we get on the water, it's exceptionally crude, but I've told people (with the wife standing there BTW) that "unless my c*ck has been in your mouth at any point today, you aren't getting special treatment" . Luckily, none of my guy friends are of questionable sexuality.

5. When I'm running in a nice chop and I've got the trim and tabs set perfectly and I'm in a nice rhythm with the throttle and I'm having the time of my life and one of my passengers screams at me to stop. I stop and find out that they needed to check their cell phone or wanted to go into the cabin to grab a water. Are you kidding me?

6. Passengers who think they know more about boating than me and constantly give me instructions because they went on their uncles bowrider twice.

7. Passengers who are constantly tapping my arm and shouting at me to point out lobster pots like they are land mines. We are in long island sound dude, there are lobster pots everywhere and yes I see them they are 70 feet away. I'm trying to pay attention to what I'm doing and look out for actual hazards.

that's a good one.....