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O.T.---Terrorist Motivation

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Old 07-24-2002, 10:35 PM
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Default O.T.---Terrorist Motivation

Ever wonder why Middle Eastern Muslim terrorists are so quick to
volunteer on a mission to commit suicide?

Let's just take a closer look at their lifestyle...

No premarital sex.
No booze. None. Never.
Sand. *&^%** sand everywhere!

No TV. No cable TV. No satellite TV.
No Spice channel. No Playboy channel. No ESPN. No Hooters!!
No Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
Sand. *&^%** sand everywhere!

No organized sports of any kind. That's right-NO sports!!!
Women have to be completely covered and wear veils. No thongs.
No Victoria's Secret Stuff.
Very, very, very few cars.
Camels. Lots of camels. Stinking, filthy camels.
Sand. *&^%** sand everywhere!

Ever try to fish at an oasis? No bass boats. No bass. No fish.
Sandstorms. More **$#@ sand everywhere!
Rags for clothes and hats.
Camel and goat burgers cooked over burning camel dung chips.
Eating with your right hand only... because you wipe your butt with
your left hand! Toilet tissue unknown.
Sand. *&^%** sand everywhere!

No golf! Just sand traps.
Constant wailing from next door... no wait, that's music!
Oh, and did I mention all that sand?

And when you die it's supposed to all get better......
No wonder they volunteer for suicide missions !!
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Old 07-24-2002, 10:38 PM
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And you won't find any POWERBOATS at an Oasis either!!!
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Old 07-24-2002, 11:31 PM
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Actually, they do have sports. (I swear I saw this on the news.)

They have some kind of game where they ride horses and the object is to take the "ball" to the other end of the court. They have lots and injuries and fatalities, and it is a very rough game.

The kicker -- the "ball" is a dead calf, and limbs are frequently torn off during play. Every now and then they halt play to get a "fresh" dead calf.

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Old 07-25-2002, 01:26 AM
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Damn...they could have had a "veal-parmesan pasta bake" or something!!!
And there's children who are starving in this world!!!!
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Old 07-25-2002, 01:51 AM
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Consintracy put that way death doesnt seem so bad they have nothing to live for, man it sucks to be there.
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Old 07-25-2002, 12:05 PM
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SEeeeeee....just when ya' think ya' got it bad!!
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Old 07-25-2002, 12:10 PM
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Lightbulb Maybe we can help.....

We could use some of our "leftover modern technology" from the Cold War to convert all that sand into a nice, smooth sheet of fused glass. (Don't forget to wear your sunglasses during this phase.)
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Old 07-25-2002, 12:33 PM
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Upon completion of the fusion we could develop a direct piping system of fuel driectly to marina fuel pumps. If I do my calculations correctly, we would be paying between 1 and 2 cents per gallon! Who has the key?

FIRE AWAY!
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Old 07-25-2002, 12:40 PM
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C-spray, Shane,

I agree
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Old 07-25-2002, 02:16 PM
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Default Slick Willy

Slick Willy's best idea yet!

Federal Aviation Agency
800 Independence Avenue S.W
Washington D.C. 20591

Dear Sirs,

I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same
time getting our airline industry back on its feet.

Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women, we
should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a
naked woman, and of course, every businessman in this country would
start flying again in hope of seeing a naked woman. We would have no more
hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales

Now why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything
myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton
 
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