Go Back  Offshoreonly.com > General Discussion > General Boating Discussion
Government Mandates Boat Buying >

Government Mandates Boat Buying

Notices
General Boating Discussion

Government Mandates Boat Buying

Thread Tools
 
Old 10-31-2013 | 10:31 PM
  #11  
Registered
15 Year Member
 
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,096
Likes: 1,217
From: Murrayville Georgia
Default

you forgot to add that if you are a federal gov. employee you get a 99% subsidie
compedgemarine is offline  
Reply
Old 11-01-2013 | 11:18 AM
  #12  
Registered
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
From: Crane Hill, AL
Default

Originally Posted by us1kw
The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.



This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.



In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.



If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.



Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.



A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.



Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt

Contact Spectre Offshore Immediately to comply.
www.spectrepowerboats.com
Something was done here......
CraneHillFast is offline  
Reply
Old 11-01-2013 | 12:25 PM
  #13  
Registered
 
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 17
Likes: 0
From: Baton Rouge, La
Default

I heard the government will be installing trailer hitches on all buses so that the people who can not afford cars will be able to tow their boats! tim
Cajun is offline  
Reply
Old 11-01-2013 | 01:03 PM
  #14  
97FASTech's Avatar
VIP Member
Veteran: Army
15 Year Member
VIP Member
 
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,168
Likes: 44
From: Canyon Lake/ Houston, TX
Default

"Contact Spectre Offshore Immediately to comply."
www.spectrepowerboats.com

Strange the website really works, and so does phone number!!!

Are you sure this site is not a scam, can't be a govt. site. lol




Humor no rumor, guys.
97FASTech is offline  
Reply
Old 11-01-2013 | 03:50 PM
  #15  
Registered User
 
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 80
Likes: 0
From: Export, PA
Default

That was well thought out and some funny sh!t ! Shame it hits home
keiter is offline  
Reply
Old 11-01-2013 | 03:55 PM
  #16  
Registered
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
From: Crane Hill, AL
Default

Originally Posted by 97FASTech
"Contact Spectre Offshore Immediately to comply."
www.spectrepowerboats.com

Strange the website really works, and so does phone number!!!

Are you sure this site is not a scam, can't be a govt. site. lol






Humor no rumor, guys.
Just realized that that same post appears on the left hand side of the website. Makes me wonder if Spectre will recieve a "surprise" visit from the IRS. Stay tuned.
CraneHillFast is offline  
Reply
Old 11-01-2013 | 04:09 PM
  #17  
Top Banana's Avatar
Registered
20 Year Member
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,674
Likes: 250
From: Rhode Island summer, Florida winter
Default

Jay, you forgot to mention that if you have a boat now and you like it, you can absolutely keep it!

Well done, very funny and true.
Top Banana is offline  
Reply

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.