THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY @ Work BUT CAN'T

1. I can see your point, but still think you are full of ****.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4.I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
5. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
6. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
7. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
8. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
9. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
10. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
13. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
14. I'm not rude. Your just insignificant.
15. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be.....?
16. I ask you do I look like a people person?
17. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
18. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
19. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
20. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Whatever look you were going for, you missed.
22. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
23. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
24. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
25. Chaos, panic, and disorder- my work here is done.
26. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
27. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

I'm going to use some of those today. hahahaha

Here's a few more,

1-This isn't a office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting

2-Does your train of thought have a caboose?

3-I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

4-A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

5- Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

Printing these out and putting them on my toolbox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a few more:

1-Well this was a total waste of make-up.

2-Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

3-Do I look like a freaken' people person?

4-I started out with nothing & still have most of it.

5-I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

6-Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

7-Pratice random acts of intelligence & Senseless acts of self control.

8-Let me show you how the guards used to do it.

9-I'm not crazy, Ive just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

10-If only you'd use your powers for good insead of evil

11-Allow me to introduce my selves.

12-Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

13-Do they ever shut up on your planet?

14-I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

15-If *******s could fly this place would be an airport.

16-How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

17-I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

18-You look awful. Is that the style now?

19-Is it time for your medication or mine?

20-And which dwarf are you?

21- I refuse to to star in your psychodrama.

22-Meandering to a different drummer.

23-I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

24-I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?

25-I thought I wanted A career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

Those are great!!!

LMFAO!!! How many times do I have to flush before you go away!!! That is perfect!!!

LMAO!!
Great additions.

One more,
"I've tried to see things from your point of view, but I just can't get my head up my ass.