TexasVines

so it was Me, Jim Darr, Chris Sunken, Fred Cecil, Scott Swires, Big Chubby and Bill Hionas and this really really really fat chick that Scott was mooching off of while waiting on a big settlement he had coming in from some crazy lawsuit

I think Scott mooched off of her so much that she ended up losing about 30 pounds in the last few months because the big meathead was draining her bank account faster than she could fill it and her refrigerator

we were all at Desert Storm (or as Scotts GF and Big Chubby made it "Dessert Storm" when they hit the casino buffets every night) on........I say Hava you say Su.....Hava-su Hava-su

we were on this badass DCB M35 that Big Chubby had hauled out there and then the owners could not show up to run it, but they wanted it to get some "air time" so they told us to go ahead and take it out

we were up in the front of the pack right at the start and we were just going hammer down when a blue Skater (I think it was a Skater hell I am not an expert I just get to ride along on theses epic trips) got pinched in by some fishing bass boat type thing and had to come across our bow
Chris was running the boat hammer down like he always does and he had it really leveled perfectly packing air like Scotts GF packed a lunch and as he comes across bow well next thing you know we are riding the rooster and the bow is really coming up

quick like a fox Fred reaches into the cooler and grabs the last of the twinkies and ding dongs that Scotts GF had been hoarding when she found out Hostess was closing shop and also a bag of those cheap ass fake off brand cheese doodles and he flings them up into the cabin of the DCB way up in the front and quick like a cat (get it cat on a cat hehe) Scotts GF and Big Chubby go diving into the cabin after those yummy snacks and he also for good measure tossed 3 natty lights up in there too and Jim dived in after those

well the next thing you know we are coming out of the rooster tail, Chris is actually having to give MORE trim up on the bow and less tabs and we are leveled off again and we are out in front of everyone else

we had the lead all the way to the first card stop and when we slowed down and looked in the cabin Scotts GF and Big Chuppy were rolling around fighting over the last cheese doodle and Jim was under them giving out this ugh ugh ugh sound and gasping for air and Big Chubby and Scotts GF were pretty much naked and the entire cabin looked orange like cheese doodle coating and there was what (I think) was twinkie filling) squirted all over the place too

we ran the rest of the card stops and then we were so concerned with the interior of the cabin (some furniture and structural supports were broken from all the "activity") that we followed the advice of Bill and Big Chubby and just pulled the plugs on the boat and basically sank it because Bill knew it had insurance and he was sure he could "liquidate it" after taking a bath for more than it would sell for if the cheese doodle mess and the broken furniture and structural supports stayed how they were

we can never return to the Havasu Landing or Aquarius Casino buffets either

tommymonza

I was in the Parasail business in Florida and the Outerbamks off and on for 30 years I have some Biggin stories . How much time you got?

mcprodesign

I'm gonna say around about 200 ish? Maybe 175. The Mother in law. Everytime I want to last longer in the bed room I just think of her

LubeJobs42

iTrader: (2)

You're just trying to figure out who else went with your ex!!

tommymonza

Can you imagine if she was BIG than what she is like today? They Don't get any smaller.

thirdchildhood

iTrader: (6)

A friend brought his obese girlfriend on the boat one day. In pounds I'm not sure. 250 maybe. It was just the three of us in my little Donzi 22. I'm around 170 and my friend probably less. The heavy girl sat in the back seat, I forget which side. We were running the channels on Lake St. Clair when I hit a large wake. Usually my little Donzi flies straight and true but this woman threw the balance off so bad that we came down on the rear corner and got a bit out of shape. She said that she could see both of ours feet in front when we flew into the air. My friend knows to always hold on so all ended well but that was the worst I have ever gotten out of shape on the water and I had to suck it up like it was my fault because I didn't want to embarrass this fat b*tch by calling her out for throwing my boat so out of balance! Never again!

VoodooRob

Nice one Phragle, M.O.D. ! Wore that tape out in my 76' Olds Omega with N50s on the back with air shocks cranked up full tilt.

phragle

iTrader: (3)

I was wondering if anyone was going to get that one......

ham_r_down01

iTrader: (1)

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, 'twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean

My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

12meter joe

110-115lbs she carried most of that in her boobs.