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how mach did the fattest girl you've ever had on your boat weigh, and did you let her
did you let her walk across the deck??? in lbs please....
offshore drillin you can start the replies |
The lying starts now
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I always loved the story someone posted a while back of George Morales letting some hot babe walk up the deck of Maggie's Mercruiser Special wearing stilettos....
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Originally Posted by ratman
(Post 4098307)
did you let her walk across the deck??? in lbs please....
offshore drillin you can start the replies |
Come on guys no time to be shy you can be honest with the brotherhood!! we won't hoot on anyone...........please no pictures!
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She was , wait I forgot that was on a Harley
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I was at Kent's Shady River Marina in Mays Landing NJ with my father in the early 1990's and a 16'/17'bow rider had just launched and the driver and passengers were boarding. On the boat was this spunky 4 or 5 year old little girl and she in the in the bow of the boat.
This huge woman starts walking toward this little boat, and this was no ordinary boat passenger this woman was every bit of 350+ lbs. This over-sized woman attempted to board the boat at the bow, which put the fear of God in the little girl that was already in the bow, the little girl started to scream, "she gonna tip us, she's gonna sink us, no, you can't come on here, no your gonna sink the boat." This little girl feared for her life and was screaming and making quite a scene. The reality of it is I too had feared that maybe this was not the best idea for that big woman to have all of her weight on that boat just from a safetey perspective for her, without a PFD that would fit her. My initial reaction was this was some funny sh*t, but I actually felt bad for the big woman, because that child was going nuts and making a scene, and really embarrassing the big woman. This story does not address what the fattest girl ever to board my boat, or my father's boat, and the answer to that question is we never-ever took a fat chick on the boat ever. I when mean never, I really mean never. I boated with my father for 43 years, and in 43 years of boating NO FAT CHICKS! Hell son, that is rule #1 no unnecessary weight or unsightly objects/people in the boat, that would take away too much speed! |
my ex wifes 250 lb girlfriend and her 250 lb husband. both sat in very back of my 79 24 foot sundancer. i hadda let her 10 year old daughter drive while i climbed up on bow and sat on pulpit to get on plane. was either that or "YO fat people!! Get on the high side of the river!!) OH; smarty, is your avatar taken on the sandbar-island at the mouth of the schuylkill? that's where we were headed. that day and most days back then.
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Originally Posted by dereknkathy
(Post 4098432)
my ex wifes 250 lb girlfriend and her 250 lb husband. both sat in very back of my 79 24 foot sundancer. i hadda let her 10 year old daughter drive while i climbed up on bow and sat on pulpit to get on plane. was either that or "YO fat people!! Get on the high side of the river!!) OH; smarty, is your avatar taken on the sandbar-island at the mouth of the schuylkill? that's where we were headed. that day and most days back then.
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I one met this girl at a bar on the water. Asked her if she wanted to go for a ride and a swim in the ocean. When she stood she was kinda big. We continued with the ride and she wanted to swim. When she was done swimming she couldn't climb on the back of the boat. We weren't that far offshore maybe 5 or 6 hundred yards so I told her I'd tow her to the beach. She said no. So I told her to carefully stand on the outdrive and I would raise it like an elevator for her. That worked I was the hero and dropped her off at the bar I met her at soaking wet. I still laugh to myself about that night.
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Tow her in? Bahahahaha!!!!:funnypost:
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150#? I haven't had the boat very long. lol
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Originally Posted by a262carl
(Post 4098441)
I one met this girl at a bar on the water. Asked her if she wanted to go for a ride and a swim in the ocean. When she stood she was kinda big. We continued with the ride and she wanted to swim. When she was done swimming she couldn't climb on the back of the boat. We weren't that far offshore maybe 5 or 6 hundred yards so I told her I'd tow her to the beach. She said no. So I told her to carefully stand on the outdrive and I would raise it like an elevator for her. That worked I was the hero and dropped her off at the bar I met her at soaking wet. I still laugh to myself about that night.
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One broke my Drop Bolster,,,
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Originally Posted by ham_r_down01
(Post 4098447)
Tow her in? Bahahahaha!!!!:funnypost:
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Originally Posted by a262carl
(Post 4098441)
I one met this girl at a bar on the water. Asked her if she wanted to go for a ride and a swim in the ocean. When she stood she was kinda big. We continued with the ride and she wanted to swim. When she was done swimming she couldn't climb on the back of the boat. We weren't that far offshore maybe 5 or 6 hundred yards so I told her I'd tow her to the beach. She said no. So I told her to carefully stand on the outdrive and I would raise it like an elevator for her. That worked I was the hero and dropped her off at the bar I met her at soaking wet. I still laugh to myself about that night.
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Originally Posted by Craney
(Post 4098316)
The lying starts now
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Waiting here on line
Suddenly from behind She's still a block away Why'd it have to be today Now what do I see She recognizes me She hugs and squeezes me She's the Spandex Enormity She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat Then she yells is this trick or treat It's too late she asks me for a date Before I'd **** I'd rather masturbate Spandex, Spandex Enormity A beast sent from Hell to plague me with misery What a ****ing beast Her ass alone would be a feast And her love drippings Contained a stench of rotted yeast The show must go on It's the end of me Taking up the whole front row It's the Spandex Enormity She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat Then she yells is this trick or treat It's too late she asks me for a date Before I'd **** I'd rather masturbate Spandex, Spandex Enormity A beast sent from hell to plague me with misery As we were walking off stage You're waiting to come back She's got a back stage pass Oh no I hide my head The sight of you I dread Her chubby little fingers grab my ass Don't talk to me, talk to Nick, talk to Nick Why does it always have to be me You ****ing fat ***** I've had enough of you Take your blubber buns and leave She left here in tears Followed by her rear I could not help she's fat She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat Then she yells is this trick or treat It's too late she asks me for a date Before I'd **** I'd rather masturbate Spandex, Spandex Enormity A beast sent from Hell to plague me with misery |
Originally Posted by ratman
(Post 4098307)
did you let her walk across the deck??? in lbs please....
offshore drillin you can start the replies |
so it was Me, Jim Darr, Chris Sunken, Fred Cecil, Scott Swires, Big Chubby and Bill Hionas and this really really really fat chick that Scott was mooching off of while waiting on a big settlement he had coming in from some crazy lawsuit
I think Scott mooched off of her so much that she ended up losing about 30 pounds in the last few months because the big meathead was draining her bank account faster than she could fill it and her refrigerator we were all at Desert Storm (or as Scotts GF and Big Chubby made it "Dessert Storm" when they hit the casino buffets every night) on........I say Hava you say Su.....Hava-su Hava-su we were on this badass DCB M35 that Big Chubby had hauled out there and then the owners could not show up to run it, but they wanted it to get some "air time" so they told us to go ahead and take it out we were up in the front of the pack right at the start and we were just going hammer down when a blue Skater (I think it was a Skater hell I am not an expert I just get to ride along on theses epic trips) got pinched in by some fishing bass boat type thing and had to come across our bow Chris was running the boat hammer down like he always does and he had it really leveled perfectly packing air like Scotts GF packed a lunch and as he comes across bow well next thing you know we are riding the rooster and the bow is really coming up quick like a fox Fred reaches into the cooler and grabs the last of the twinkies and ding dongs that Scotts GF had been hoarding when she found out Hostess was closing shop and also a bag of those cheap ass fake off brand cheese doodles and he flings them up into the cabin of the DCB way up in the front and quick like a cat (get it cat on a cat hehe) Scotts GF and Big Chubby go diving into the cabin after those yummy snacks and he also for good measure tossed 3 natty lights up in there too and Jim dived in after those well the next thing you know we are coming out of the rooster tail, Chris is actually having to give MORE trim up on the bow and less tabs and we are leveled off again and we are out in front of everyone else we had the lead all the way to the first card stop and when we slowed down and looked in the cabin Scotts GF and Big Chuppy were rolling around fighting over the last cheese doodle and Jim was under them giving out this ugh ugh ugh sound and gasping for air and Big Chubby and Scotts GF were pretty much naked and the entire cabin looked orange like cheese doodle coating and there was what (I think) was twinkie filling) squirted all over the place too we ran the rest of the card stops and then we were so concerned with the interior of the cabin (some furniture and structural supports were broken from all the "activity") that we followed the advice of Bill and Big Chubby and just pulled the plugs on the boat and basically sank it because Bill knew it had insurance and he was sure he could "liquidate it" after taking a bath for more than it would sell for if the cheese doodle mess and the broken furniture and structural supports stayed how they were we can never return to the Havasu Landing or Aquarius Casino buffets either :( |
I was in the Parasail business in Florida and the Outerbamks off and on for 30 years I have some Biggin stories . How much time you got?
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I'm gonna say around about 200 ish? Maybe 175. The Mother in law. Everytime I want to last longer in the bed room I just think of her
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Originally Posted by ratman
(Post 4098307)
did you let her walk across the deck??? in lbs please....
offshore drillin you can start the replies |
Originally Posted by LubeJobs42
(Post 4098644)
You're just trying to figure out who else went with your ex!!
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A friend brought his obese girlfriend on the boat one day. In pounds I'm not sure. 250 maybe. It was just the three of us in my little Donzi 22. I'm around 170 and my friend probably less. The heavy girl sat in the back seat, I forget which side. We were running the channels on Lake St. Clair when I hit a large wake. Usually my little Donzi flies straight and true but this woman threw the balance off so bad that we came down on the rear corner and got a bit out of shape. She said that she could see both of ours feet in front when we flew into the air. My friend knows to always hold on so all ended well but that was the worst I have ever gotten out of shape on the water and I had to suck it up like it was my fault because I didn't want to embarrass this fat b*tch by calling her out for throwing my boat so out of balance! Never again!
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Originally Posted by phragle
(Post 4098501)
Waiting here on line
Suddenly from behind She's still a block away Why'd it have to be today Now what do I see She recognizes me She hugs and squeezes me She's the Spandex Enormity She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat Then she yells is this trick or treat It's too late she asks me for a date Before I'd **** I'd rather masturbate Spandex, Spandex Enormity A beast sent from Hell to plague me with misery What a ****ing beast Her ass alone would be a feast And her love drippings Contained a stench of rotted yeast The show must go on It's the end of me Taking up the whole front row It's the Spandex Enormity She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat Then she yells is this trick or treat It's too late she asks me for a date Before I'd **** I'd rather masturbate Spandex, Spandex Enormity A beast sent from hell to plague me with misery As we were walking off stage You're waiting to come back She's got a back stage pass Oh no I hide my head The sight of you I dread Her chubby little fingers grab my ass Don't talk to me, talk to Nick, talk to Nick Why does it always have to be me You ****ing fat ***** I've had enough of you Take your blubber buns and leave She left here in tears Followed by her rear I could not help she's fat She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat Then she yells is this trick or treat It's too late she asks me for a date Before I'd **** I'd rather masturbate Spandex, Spandex Enormity A beast sent from Hell to plague me with misery |
I was wondering if anyone was going to get that one......
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The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand Or so I have read My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo Big bottom, big bottom Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em Big bottom drive me out of my mind How could I leave this behind? I met her on Monday, 'twas my lucky bun day You know what I mean I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day You know what I mean My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah Big bottom, big bottom Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em Big bottom drive me out of my mind How could I leave this behind? My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo Big bottom, big bottom Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em Big bottom drive me out of my mind How could I leave this behind? |
110-115lbs she carried most of that in her boobs. :D
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Funny story. I met this pretty hot chick on the water one day and we partied for a few hours. When it was time to leave I asked her to just come back on my boat and I would get her to her car. She said, ok but, my friends will have to come also cause we never split up. So being skeptical I said, oh, well where are your friends? She's like hang on ill go get them. So my brother and friend come walking back to the boat and I told them what's going on. They were like oh sweet I hope they're hot! Well, here comes the crew walking around some boats and OMG.... 200-225ish...like three of them. I never fired up the boat a took off so fast in my life! I had to ditch the hottie cause there was just no way I was pulling into marina with them lol. I didn't look back but I guess they were waving like hey where you going... Throttles pinned.
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I used to get women on the boat that wanted to go parasailing that the leg straps would not go up beyond their knees . Felt bad for them and the crew that had to harness them up..
The few Biggins you did fit into the harnesses did not fit properly in them and they would slide forward out of the seat and hang by their crotch in the leg straps . Not a pretty site of a 300 plus women not to mention I was scared to death the leg straps would rip out and they would fall. Finally got smart and had a custom heavy Duty harness made with adjustable leg straps to go up to 45 inches around and a belly strap made for a 80 inch waist made out of a heavy enough material that you could fly a truck in the thing. |
some are probably thinking well how did you get away with just pulling the plugs and sinking that DCB and that is where Scotts ++++ size honey came into usefulness again
she was an expert with CGI and Scott had met her when she was doing a CGI recreation of a wreck when Scott's old GF Rachel had passed away :( and Scott was suing for pain and suffering she did up this whole sequence of the boat flipping and even did a helicopter view of the same as well even the insurance company bought into it it was pretty damn good there was no way to tell it was fake |
Well, we had just gotten the 33 and it had a lot more room , so my wife told some of her friends at work that we found this lil beach to pull up on about 20 min from landing. She had invited one friend who was watching her niece and nephew that weekend so they could play with our kids...
Well, 2 more of them invited themselves!!! When my wife told me we had 3 women coming and 2 of the husbands had to work and 1 was single, I was pumped and smiled... Big pimpin, I told her.. She said I shouldn't get too excited. Whoa!!! 2 were 200+ and the other was shorter at least 250 and wearing a bikini... Really.. F&ck me!!! I get a boat load of women and all I was thinking was... Hmmm, she got up pretty good with all the weight!! |
Originally Posted by nailit
(Post 4099142)
Well, we had just gotten the 33 and it had a lot more room , so my wife told some of her friends at work that we found this lil beach to pull up on about 20 min from landing. She had invited one friend who was watching her niece and nephew that weekend so they could play with our kids...
Well, 2 more of them invited themselves!!! When my wife told me we had 3 women coming and 2 of the husbands had to work and 1 was single, I was pumped and smiled... Big pimpin, I told her.. She said I shouldn't get too excited. Whoa!!! 2 were 200+ and the other was shorter at least 250 and wearing a bikini... Really.. F&ck me!!! I get a boat load of women and all I was thinking was... Hmmm, she got up pretty good with all the weight!! 2 Yrs ago on a small lake in Washington State I was forced to take my sister in-law and niece both were 220+ (weigh more now)...LOL We idled around the lake (over an hour) pretending to show them the purrrrdy houses... thank god I don't talk to them anymore and I now have a scale for my boat, just like the rides at a an amusement park "Please step on the scale"..."I'm sorry you can't get in the boat as your girth is to much for the seats and damage could occur". Have a nice day! |
You guys are funny.....My wife's friends, my sister in-law, cousin's nephew's daughter, etc.
Like you've never drank too much and partied with a fatty on the water. I'll man up....250 lbs and she swallowed every bit! I think I went to the same bar the next night to see if she was there again. |
Originally Posted by Baja_342
(Post 4099291)
You guys are funny.....My wife's friends, my sister in-law, cousin's nephew's daughter, etc.
Like you've never drank too much and partied with a fatty on the water. I'll man up....250 lbs and she swallowed every bit! I think I went to the same bar the next night to see if she was there again. |
"Fat Bottomed Girls"
Oh you gonna take me home tonight Oh down beside that red fire light Oh you gonna let it all hang out Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round Hey I was just a skinny lad Never knew no good from bad But I knew love before I left my nursery Left alone with big fat Fanny She was such a naughty nanny Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me Hey hey! I've been singing with my band Across the water, across the land I've seen every blue eyed floozy on the way (hey) But their beauty and their style Went kind of smooth after a while Take me to them naughty ladies every time C'mon! Oh, won't you take me home tonight? Oh, down beside your red fire light Oh, and you give it all you got Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round Hey, listen here Now I got mortgages and homes And I got stiffness in the bones Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you) Oh, but I still get my pleasure Still get my greatest treasure Heap big woman you done made a big man of me (now get this) Oh (I know), you gonna take me home tonight (please) Oh, down beside that red fire light Oh, you gonna let it all hang out Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round Get on your bikes and ride Ooh, yeah, oh, yeah, them fat bottomed girls Fat bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah, All right Ride 'em cowboy Fat bottomed girls Yes, yes, right. Got tickets to see Queen later this year, first time since I saw them from the front row in 1982 at Milton Keynes in the UK Probably the best live performance I ever saw, and I saw a bunch. |
Originally Posted by TexasVines
(Post 4098626)
so it was Me, Jim Darr, Chris Sunken, Fred Cecil, Scott Swires, Big Chubby and Bill Hionas and this really really really fat chick that Scott was mooching off of while waiting on a big settlement he had coming in from some crazy lawsuit
I think Scott mooched off of her so much that she ended up losing about 30 pounds in the last few months because the big meathead was draining her bank account faster than she could fill it and her refrigerator we were all at Desert Storm (or as Scotts GF and Big Chubby made it "Dessert Storm" when they hit the casino buffets every night) on........I say Hava you say Su.....Hava-su Hava-su we were on this badass DCB M35 that Big Chubby had hauled out there and then the owners could not show up to run it, but they wanted it to get some "air time" so they told us to go ahead and take it out we were up in the front of the pack right at the start and we were just going hammer down when a blue Skater (I think it was a Skater hell I am not an expert I just get to ride along on theses epic trips) got pinched in by some fishing bass boat type thing and had to come across our bow Chris was running the boat hammer down like he always does and he had it really leveled perfectly packing air like Scotts GF packed a lunch and as he comes across bow well next thing you know we are riding the rooster and the bow is really coming up quick like a fox Fred reaches into the cooler and grabs the last of the twinkies and ding dongs that Scotts GF had been hoarding when she found out Hostess was closing shop and also a bag of those cheap ass fake off brand cheese doodles and he flings them up into the cabin of the DCB way up in the front and quick like a cat (get it cat on a cat hehe) Scotts GF and Big Chubby go diving into the cabin after those yummy snacks and he also for good measure tossed 3 natty lights up in there too and Jim dived in after those well the next thing you know we are coming out of the rooster tail, Chris is actually having to give MORE trim up on the bow and less tabs and we are leveled off again and we are out in front of everyone else we had the lead all the way to the first card stop and when we slowed down and looked in the cabin Scotts GF and Big Chuppy were rolling around fighting over the last cheese doodle and Jim was under them giving out this ugh ugh ugh sound and gasping for air and Big Chubby and Scotts GF were pretty much naked and the entire cabin looked orange like cheese doodle coating and there was what (I think) was twinkie filling) squirted all over the place too we ran the rest of the card stops and then we were so concerned with the interior of the cabin (some furniture and structural supports were broken from all the "activity") that we followed the advice of Bill and Big Chubby and just pulled the plugs on the boat and basically sank it because Bill knew it had insurance and he was sure he could "liquidate it" after taking a bath for more than it would sell for if the cheese doodle mess and the broken furniture and structural supports stayed how they were we can never return to the Havasu Landing or Aquarius Casino buffets either :( |
We were all tied up at a marina/bar, and we were drinking a bit much. Much like impractical jokers, we were scouring around for some wager material to force one of the guys to "date".
As fate would have it, the "2" at 10pm ended up being a "10" at 2am an we started talking to this BIG girl, (big tall, big butt) all dressed in yellow. Tight top, tight tight yellow spandex pants. We talked to her for awhile, and up close, this gal was huge. While we were deciding who and what the deed was going to be, the poor girl bent over and "BAMMMMM", her spandex pants blew open in the seat. While she was bent over with her yellow spandex blown open, too salesman types threw their briefcases in her ass and yelled, "Take us to the Airport and step on it". We left her there! hahaha! |
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